Monday, 10 January 2011
WOTSONTELLY, CHANNEL FOUR, THREE MINUTE TOTTYMENTARY, 7.55. IMELDA'S HALF-SISTER
Hello viewers, I'm Lauren Booth and I'm a serious journalist. Actually I'm not but I am Tony Blair's half-sister-in-law and so people just give me money for pretend work, unlike Imelda, who gets money for fuck all, and free things, all the time, the fucking slut. But anyway, I recently married a Muslem man and I'm never gonna get me tits out again for the lads, because Muslem men just wanna screw the arse off yous anyway, even if you don't dress up like a slut. Especially if you're a teenager in the Derby area. No, it really is great being Muslem, you don't have to keep getting your tits out and showin' yer arse and belly button and all that. My kids love me being Muzzy, like, used to show em up, they say, with me tits hanging out all the while. But now I found Mohammed I'll never have to do it again. Unless the money's, like, really good. Bismillah, No, I will not get them out.
Honest to Jesus, that's basically what she said. Take a look for yourself, if you can bear it. Channel Four, worse than the rest of them put together. It'll be Nadine next week.