Saturday, 29 January 2011


From the Filth-O-Graph, 4.11 pm

For God's sake, find this man a safe seat.

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Aaron Porter, NUS President,  escorted away from his own members.
C'mon my son, you're one of us now, but then you always were.

"Hundreds of protesters called for his resignation, directing their anger towards him as he made his way towards the students’ union building.

Campaigners shouted: "Students, workers, hear our shout! We want Aaron Porter out!" and "Aaron Porter we know you, you're a fucking  Tory too!"

Mr Porter is facing calls to step down as NUS president by members of the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts.

Saturday’s demonstrations in London and Manchester were organised in protest against public spending cuts and rising tuition fees.

The protests – attended by thousands of students – began peacefully but around 150 demonstrators broke off from the agreed route and headed towards the city centre, where they targeted Mr Porter."

Speaking on BBC Radio Shit, I mean Four, former NUS President, Mr Jack Torture said  "It's very important, Martha,  for listeners to listen to me , you see Mr Porter was doing what many young people have done, he was using his feigned concern for his fellow students as a stepping-stone to a highly lucrative career as a politician, no, do let me finish, because this is very important.  Can you imagine British politics without the likes of, well, me

A young Mr Jack Torture as president of the NUS

and so all I woild say to your listeners, and many of them are not as clever as me, is that Mr Porter is in the great tradition of myself and Trevor Phillips and David Aaronobitch, you know, the fat bloke with the nonce's beard and my good friend Mr Charles Fatty Clarke  and lots of other rotten, stinking hypocrites and I think that's worth many people getting beaten up by the police for - if you and your listeners will forgive the split infinitive - which, I understand, is happening even as we speak, and those great professional  British bobbies are doing it with  great commitment, even though most of them have, for some reason, forgotten to put their ID numbers on,  just like  we tell them to. I am sure that Mr Porter has a glowing future ahead of him in one of the political parties, which, as I'm sure listeners will know, are much the same. Obedience, that's the thing. Obedience and Torture, served me well."


lilith said...

Did they not suggest that he is a "Tory Jew?"

call me ishmael said...

Yes, lilith, that was reported later; I don't know if it's true and I wouldn't be surprised if it's not or if it was a handful of people, or even if it was the Old Bill; it's offensive, whichever way. But it doesn't, I feel, vindicate this oily wretch, Porter, from his cosying-up to what he doubtless sees as his future employers; you won't have seen him on Newsnight, a while back, smarming and clearly-ing, like he was already in the House, flirting horribly with the ghastly Straight Simon Hughes; I don't know if he's Jewish or half-Jewish or fashionably, like many of the racist warmongering bastards, claims to have lost distant relatives in the Nazi Terror - as though everybody alive hadn't lost someone, sometime, to oppression - and I don't care.

That some people may have called Porter a Jew and done so abusively is unpleasant and racist - but small beer compared with HM Govament's continued daily holocausting of wogs and pakis and its complicity in the Gaza Atrocity.

The education cuts - and bollocks to what the shitbag Clegg says about them being an improvement - provide an opportunity, a necessity, really, for student leaders to attack both the unelected govament and, while they're at it, the establishmen't racist international agenda, that Porter has tried to keep a career foot in both camps, youth and govament, is odious and repellent; fuck him, Jew, Mick, Prod, Muslem, Jehovah's Witness, Flat Earther or - worst of all -Dawkins Humanist, they should get rid of him.

mongoose said...

All bastards, almost a requirement for membership of the Bastards Club. How I remember the Union arseholes at college. Fucking mad, Hitler complexes all of them, bullshitters of the vilest kind. Laugh? We threw rocks at them in the street.

One day for a want of anyone else to annoy, we registered my mate as a candidate for Pres of the Union. The hustings came around and the silly sod stood up there in his biker's jacket swigging from a bottle of Newky Brown. Even I didn't vote for the fool - I was elsewhere, in the bar already - but the serious ones were outraged that we should so besmirch their miserable look-at-me idiocy.

Here is the record for you...

David Aaronovitch *
Sydney Checkland, foreigner
Charles Clarke *
Lorna Fitzsimons *
Kat Fletcher, pup
Denis Follows "Sir"
Ivison Macadam *
Jim Murphy *
Neil Stewart *
Owain James pup
Andrew Pakes *
Trevor Phillips *
Vicky Phillips *
Aaron Porter
Maeve Sherlock *
Sue Slipman
Jack Straw *
Wes Streeting *
Mandy Telford *
Douglas Trainer *
Gemma Tumelty
Stephen Twigg *
Phil Woolas *

* = in the club

Almost to a man or woman, they have all become toads and dissemblers. Liars, cads, and swine of the foulest vintage. Hanging is what is required. A round-up and a good hanging. Aaronovitch first.

Maybe Woolas first actually.

call me ishmael said...

No, Aaronobitch, up the long ladder and down the short rope.