We are not and never have been truthful journalists, said owner Mr Rupert Corpse, we do what it says on the tin, and I can’t see what the fuss is all about.

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Mr Rupert Murdoch,

owner, skymadeupnewsandfilth.

Nobody complained when we supported those arseholes Tony and Imelda Blair or Baroness Mrs doo-lally, spank-those-naughty-boysThatcher, nobody complains that I employ half the Tory front bench and don’t pay any tax on my massive UK earnings. So alright Andy Coulson might have poked and pried into folks’ lives but so fucking what, I mean the government does that all the time.

Speaking on the BBC’s This Week, Mr Andy Jock,

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Mr Andy Capillaries, an elderly drunk,
with his great grand-daughter

former US supremo of skymadeupnewsandfilth didn’t tell viewers that he personally holds millions of pounds worth of skymadeupnewsandfilth shares and so has personally profited from its activities; his reason for not telling people of this was that he didn’t want them to know. On the same programme, Mr Michael Portillo,

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a current employee of skymadeupnewsandfilth didn’t tell viewers that he and Mr Coulson are former colleagues; his reason for not telling people was that he didn’t want them to know.

It is not known if Mr Corpse has embarrassing stories on major and minor UK political figures in his vaults at skymadeupnewsandfilth and that this is why none cross him, let alone insist that he pays proper tax but many assume that this is, has to be the case.

Mr Kelvin McCunt,

Two skymadeupnewsandfilth shitbags

formerly of skymadeupnewsandfilth and a complete head-to-toe arsehole with not a fibre of decency in his rotten, bloated, poxed-up body said the great British public got the press it deserved (only he said THEY deserved) and for once Fat Kev was right.


Anonymous said...

Mr Andy Capillaries, an elderly drunk,
with his great grand-daughter" You sure? Looks like someone elses great grand-daughter a bit like the photo of the oriental bint with Jock wearing a vest so much loved by that shitrag Private Eye and that little slimy turd Hislop can I have my £30,000 of license payers money for half an hour of gurning on Have I got news for you? Nearest thing they ever got to being funny when Fattersly didn't turn up and oh so urbane twat Merton had to make do with a tub of lard as a partner.Which makes a change from Merton's partner having to put up with having a tub of lard for a partner.

call me ishmael said...

Dear Mr Anonymous

Mr Merton's partners, as we have mentioned here before, have an unfortunate habit of dying, probably as a result of over-exposure to his relentless and long out of date absurdism; he and the dwarf Hislop owe much to the Green Room inebriation of the "show's" infantile audience, which, apparently, will laugh at anything, leaving viewers feeling oddly truculent and combative should they not both roll around in mirth and sit bolt upright at the incisive satire on display, a week after it has been done in cyberspace.

I think you are way shy of the mark at thirty grand; Hislop, the Establishment's Fool, is paid far more than that for his various little pantomimes. Great, nevertheless, how the Eye continues to bash the Beeb, a little bit.

Sorry to go on so, I should just have said, Yes, Cunts. Both of them. All of them. Have I got Stale News For You.