FLEET SETS SAIL
REAR ADMIRAL SNOT ANNOUNCES TASK FORCE.
An armada of small boats is sailing for the continent, if NewLabour lasts a thousand years, men will say This was Snotty's finest hour. He was the man with the resol- you-shun to find sol-you-shun to the poll-you-shun. Rejoice, the British flag now flies over Reykjavik. We are a grandmother.Vote for me.
SUB-LT. SALTY SAM 'N' DAVE.
I agree with Rear Admiral Snot and it was all my idea anyway. People should not ask What can the Royal Navy do for me but instead should proply ask what can I do for Jolly Jack Tar? Did I mention my family and the NHS?
MR MIDSHIPMAN HORATIO CLEGG
I agree with the Rear Admiral and the First Officer. At a time of national emergency, we must all milk it for as much as it's worth, on this we are all agreed. I will do my bit as a leading international statesman. People are fed up with the old Admirals.
The Liberal Party was founded in 1859.
MAGGIE MAY, THE INFAMOUS
DOCKSIDE FLOOZY
The Liberal Party was founded in 1859.
MAGGIE MAY, THE INFAMOUS
DOCKSIDE FLOOZY
Hello, Sailor.
12 comments:
That slimy gobshite Dan Snow son of swingometer man fucked up good style but hey any publicity is good publicity. By the way he has got where he is on merit not because his old man is a twat.
They go back to Lloyd George, these Snowmen, descended from greatness, dynastical broadcasting their right, I detest all three of them almost as much as I do the Dimblebys. What was it Danny boy did or din't do, then, mr anonymous ?
Why don't they all f-f-f-f-f-fade away?
The slimy publicity hungry useless twat took a load of inflateable boats to Calais to "rescue" people stranded there. That was the plan the French authorities had other ideas told him to fuck off. This is what shithead said "They didn't like the idea of all those RIBs turning up and taking Brits back,". Before he got a job with Mr Swingometer the story goes he went for a job and the gaffer asked him if he wanted a living wage or paid what he is worth? He said you had better pay me a living wage.
Ah, right, vive les frogs, eh? Nice one Jacques. Mind you, him having a telly dad and all, he should be on more programmes, all of them, like that horrid, gobby baggage is, Coren, wossername, Victoria ? Fuck me, I thought her dad, Alan, was a tedious, smirking, windbagging gabshite, as funny as cancer but she takes nonentityness to a whole new level, 'swhat the BBC is for, jobs for the brats.
And Giles, don't forget Giles.
Victoria? Jeez, she is reduced to reproducing school-run gossip in a way which is ever-so-arch-and-aren't-I-ironically-wonderful? And Giles "The Twat" Coren - "I had the pig face with strawberry mash and a gazelle gumbo reduction. The menu said that the pig was from Dorset but it tasted more Somerset to me. I could taste the brackish flatlands of the Levels. Or was it the red clay of a Bridgwater Bluenose?" Ah, fuck off!
Hang them the pair of them from the same tree.
Re: Victoria - ah, you would though wouldn't ya? Ya would?
I so fucking wood.
I know nothing of Giles, friends, and I will be grateful if you help me to remain so ignorant; your impersonation, mr mongoose, is fucking terrifying.
And even were I not a married man, I wouldn't. Not fucking likely. Fuck me, Jesus, I'd rather go blind.
I know nothing, friends, of Giles and would prefer to stay ignorant. Your impersonation, mr mongoose, is fucking terrifying; I knew there were people like that, but not quite that bad.
Even were I not a respectable married citizen I wouldn't. Fuck me, Jesus, no.
Want some more? Nigella always sounds like ointment to me. Fern fat cunt Britain, Liza "whey hey" Tarbuck, second verse same as the first and on and on.I will have to stop as its making feel sick.
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