What the hell were they thinking? Oh yes, they weren't thinking at all. On account of not having grown brains yet. Brains that can detect acts of provocation, can link actions to consequences, and can advise caution. That can think beyond money and celebrity.
Narcissistic, smug, self satisfied, failed and/or disgraced former politicians "acted" in a dangerous piece of television nonsense that aired on Sky television between the 21st to the 24th September 2026. The concept was that a fictional Russian attack was launched on Britain by Russia in 2027, and that bloody Michael Gove was Prime Minister.
Mind you, he was not the only one of the crew of failed/and/or disgraced former politicians to give themselves fantasy jobs in this alternative reality.
Nicola Sturgeon got to be Deputy Prime Minister. No, really.
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| That's the campervan bought with SNP party funds by Sturgeon's jail-bird husband, being seized by Scottish police. |
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Wiki's episode by episode description will inform you - if you can be bothered - how the story unfolds to the point of Michael Gove declaring war on Russia, resulting in strikes against Kaliningrad and Murmansk inflicting heavy casualties on Russian forces and hitting targets in close proximity to Russian nuclear weapons facilities.
Sky has admitted the heavy use of generative AI to produce scenes showing Russian attacks on targets in the United Kingdom and fake TikTok clips from real-life influencers demonstrating public reaction to government decisions.
What the actual fuck, as the young people say nowadays? What did they think Putin was going to make of all that? The notoriously thin-skinned Putin, who has already withdrawn his ambassador from Britain?
Speaking at the Valdai Discussion Club in Moscow on Thursday, Putin warned the Western allies to cease their escalation in Ukraine, stressing he's willing to use "all weapons" in the Russian arsenal in the scenario that Russia's exclave of Kaliningrad comes under attack.
"The drills in the Baltic Sea, following one another… Then the attempts to arrest our ships and vessels. All this is an escalation. And then we began to hear statements regarding the Kaliningrad region. If it comes to direct attack against the Russian Federation, in this case on Kaliningrad and possibly some other territories, of course the issue of using all weapons in our country’s arsenal will inevitably and unavoidably emerge on the agenda. This is unavoidable."
NATO held recent military drills near Kaliningrad which Putin referenced in his remarks.
The warning sent to NATO echoed statements issued by several Russian embassies in Europe this week which said that Moscow has "information that NATO is preparing (an) air and naval blockade of Kaliningrad and Kaliningrad region."
Moscow at the start of the week took the rare step of sending a formal letter to NATO leadership in Brussels.
The letter accused NATO of an "unprecedented escalation of the military-political situation around Russia's region of Kaliningrad accompanied by highly provocative public statements by NATO Allies' officials. This dangerous and reckless course entails high risk of the outbreak of a direct armed conflict with the possibility of Russian strikes against decision-making centres of the alliance's member states right from the outset of the conflict."
I hope Sky is congratulating itself on a job well done. Was it any good, this show that seems to be precipitating World War Three? Lucy Mangan reviewed it for the Guardian. "Gove, Harman and Sturgeon are fabulously awful. Stiff, self-conscious, self-important, entirely unable to give any portion of themselves up to the purported reality or the flow of the thing. Sturgeon is an alternately whining and furious goblin, Harman a disappointed schoolmarm and, though I suspect he is desperate to do so, Gove cannot modulate his perma-condescending tone – whether he is addressing his fellow cabinet members, his military advisers or the nation."
There will be plenty Sky viewers out there who now believe that Gove is indeed Prime Minister and that Russia has engaged in an escalating series of attacks on Britain and those viewers will be clamouring to join up to do their bit. Maybe that was the purpose after all.
Aghast and open-mouthed I can watch all sorts of rubbish on the box. mrs ishmael often enquires You gotta brain the size of the planet, why're you watching this shit and I always respond Because it is; even so, I have never been able to tolerate Cruelty TeeVee and have been banging-on about it for as long as me and stanislav have been blogging.
I guess it started in this country with nonce-lover, Esther Rantzen, and her hideous smirk-show, That's Life.
this below, from Victor Lewis-Smith in the Evening Standard:
THAT'S LIFE!
In life, there are some certainties. Tributes always flood in (they never trickle), lucre is always filthy, virtues are always extolled, rises are always meteoric, gauntlets are always run. And on That's Life!, no matter how pitifully tragic a story they might be relating, you won't have to wait long for a gratuitous mention of either willies or titties. This week we had both.
It's significant that the first word in the opening titles is "Help" because Esther and her catatonic catamites desperately need some. For twenty-one years they've been getting away with murder - shamelessly repeating the same shallow format of vulgar misprints mixed with tales of stupid people who've given money to clever people - but now their show is on Death Row, with the execution date already fixed. On Saturday night, the Patron Saint of Patronisers appeared, wearing a startled expression usually only seen on the faces of blow-up sex dolls, and dressed in a yellow number that made her look like a tube of mustard surmounted by Shergar's teeth. She'd even chosen to make her entrance through the studio audience; presumably, she thought ordinary people might like a last chance to touch the hem of her garment, before she departs at Easter.
By piggy-backing on Atrocity Ratso managed eventually to deify herself, well, in her own eyes, anyway.
Her dodgy past, though, as dodgy pasts do, caught up with her and with her customary psychopathic bare-faced cheek
Her dodgy past, though, as dodgy pasts do, caught up with her and with her customary psychopathic bare-faced cheek
the mangy old crow claimed that when, years ago, she was sucking Sir Nicky Fairbairn, MP's cock she didn't know that he rammed it up children, was a child rapist and maybe much worse.
Well, how would she?
Well, how would she?
Rantzen, had not at that point opportunistically developed her self-glorifying, phoney Childline persona and the ability to spot a nonce at a hundred metres, unless it was Sir Jimmy Savile.
I can do this to your cock, I'd love the taste of broken children on it. Why don't we start a charity. for abused children, yeah, I know, hilarious. But we'd make a fortune.
No, you're alright, love, a bit old for me; twelve, thirteen, that's my top limit.
or indeed any other pushy, showy pervert fingering, buggering and murdering his way through a gilded career in MediaMinster.
Rantzen's That's Life schtick was as Lewis-Smith describes, the cruel and spiteful presentation of the foibles of the poor by the mocking rich. The flea-bitten old slag can take historical credit not for helping children but for inventing Cruelty TeeVee, a genre in which people who have been to university, people who have had the good fortune to receive a bit of education mock, lampoon and ridicule those less fortunate.
Arise Dame Esther.
Rantzen, after a lifetime of trashing around with filth, has been made one of our betters, or that's the theory; now all those screeching panel show hosts, on whose shows the ghastly old crow continues to sicken the nation will have to refer to her more respectfully. A manky old cheapshit dame for cheapshit telly.
Run by Oxbridgers, homosexuals, child molesters and thieves, the PBC is Rantzen's home away from home and it was there that she revealed her true grimy, showbiz colours; she was reading the notification of her bauble, she hissed, and her daughter started dancing round the kitchen in delight and then, as the news sunk in, Esther, too, started dancing round the kitchen with her. Rantzen the nonces' friend and champion had been given an award in recognition of her role in a showbiz child protection scam; dancing, mind, dancing.
GOOD DOG, ESTHER
A mad dog is to stand as an independent candidate in Luton, should there be a general election. Well, you know, everybody says I'm crazy and I am, says the horrid, mouthy old bitch, but you see I just can't fade away and go into an old dogs' home, not after I have been so famous. Do you want to see my thong? Grrr, grrrr. Vote for me, help teach an old dog new tricks.
Emeritus professor of Newsnight Review and ludicrous Big Brother contestant, Dr Germaine Greer, below
said "That toothy old Sheila bangs like a shithouse door in a gale, probably fuck her way through the constituency, if she can be an MP so can I, 'strewth, I been on as much telly as her. (sings) Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters..."
Professor Greer has issued this leaflet as the opening shot in her election campaign,
Professor Greer has issued this leaflet as the opening shot in her election campaign,
which, it is said, has Ms Rantzen, seventy-tooth, sorry, seventy-two, biting her tail in rage.
Yelp, yelp, yelp, yelp, yelp, whine, whine, whine, whine; over-rehearsed, platitudinous, corny, tub-thumping, shameless, self-promotion after over-rehearsed, platitudinous, corny…. etc., etc..
God Al-fucking-Mighty, cry Havoc and let slip the Dogs of Ruin; Esther fucking Rantzen, Jesus fucking Wept.
I WANNA BE ELECTED, MS RANTZEN, 71.
It's all quite appalling, said toothy old dog, Esther, a fierce self-publicist, I haven't been on TV for ages, despite my thong and everything, at least this way I shall be on TV all the time, again. Wanna see my teeth, big boy ? I'm a widow, y'know.
Fuck me, no, said the Luton voter, first Mags DryRot and now this brazen old minger, shouldering her way in. Next thing it'll be Wotsername, the old drunk, FagAsh Lil, Germane Greer, the female bollock, her, off the telly. It's the BNP for me, lads.
It's all quite appalling, said toothy old dog, Esther, a fierce self-publicist, I haven't been on TV for ages, despite my thong and everything, at least this way I shall be on TV all the time, again. Wanna see my teeth, big boy ? I'm a widow, y'know.
Fuck me, no, said the Luton voter, first Mags DryRot and now this brazen old minger, shouldering her way in. Next thing it'll be Wotsername, the old drunk, FagAsh Lil, Germane Greer, the female bollock, her, off the telly. It's the BNP for me, lads.
Well, Jonathan, and I agree with all the other members of the panel, except that I'd like to talk about myself, now that I'm a politician and people in my constituency tell me that it's time I did something Rantzenish. And that's just what I'm gonna do. No, I'm not gonna show you my thing, I mean my thong, however (ghastly, nightmare, coquettish grin-cum-snarl) much you'd like me to. But instead I'm gonna do something which showed just how wonderful and caring and suited for Power I am. Listeners may remember...
If you could get ..... ....no, Jonathan, I am, really I am, and let's face it, I did run the most successful television show ever, for forty years, so I'm sure I can hold down this little slot, here, on Radio Fuddy-Duddy, without boring too many of your one-foot-in-the-gravers.............to the point .........and so the thing is, that, you know how we did KidsLine, or whatever it was, and immediately stopped all forms of child abuse, or at least got my picture in the paper - still does, actually, from time to time - and gave the little darlings something to talk to strangers about, on the phone, I mean, does it matter if it was true, it's the kids who matter here... ..if you would just ......and so I thought I'd do the same with the boys - and maybe the girls, but I'm not too sure about them, bit butch, by all accounts - out there in Kuwait, or wherever, and that I could be their sweetheart, I could be there, on the end of the Troopsline telephone, I mean they're not all gay, not even the First Batallion, The Queen's Own Nancyboys, and maybe they'd just like to talk privately to a hot-blooded, mature woman who knows what makes men tick and who might be able to offer them some relief from all that dreadful stress, I mean seeing how they're fighting and dying for us I could do them at £1.50 a minute, Troopsline With Esther, the Forces' GrannySlutBint.... ......shut the fuck up.
TALK TO THE MERRY WIDOW OF LUTON
£1.50 PER MINUTE.
NATURE CORNER
By way of a palate cleanser.
Climbing the hill that rises behind my Yorkshire village the other afternoon, we noticed a wind hover riding the currents, high in the intense blue October sky, swooping and soaring. Just then, like two fighter planes scrambling to intercept incomers, two crows launched themselves at the kestrel, one feinting, the other swooping down and driving it back. It recovered and returned to the fight, when, amazingly, one crow flew in close and pecked its wing, causing its complete retreat.
Every leaf speaks bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree.
Emily Bronte
And in Orkney news, the Genesis fishing boat struck rocks off the west coast of the island of Hoy and issued a mayday call last week. The RNLI lifeboat from Stromness turned out, along with coastguard helicopters from Sumburgh and Stornoway, and the Northlink passenger ferry Hamnavoe, which launched its fast-rescue boat.
All of the crew members were winched to safety by a Coastguard helicopter and taken to shore.
The fishing boat remains grounded and the coastguard tug and counter pollution teams have been sent to the scene.
A Maritime and Coastguard Agency spokesperson said: "Just after 06:30 on 1 October, HM Coastguard received a report that a fishing vessel with 17 people on board had gone aground at the Old Man of Hoy, Orkney Islands and was in need of immediate assistance.
"The vessel also issued a Mayday asking for assistance to evacuate the people on board."
Police Scotland and Scottish Ambulance Service were also in attendance.
The HM Coastguard Emergency Towing Vessel (ETV) has been dispatched and the HM Coastguard Counter Pollution team and other relevant authorities have been informed.
Mark Wrigley, from Leeds, who was on the Hamnavoe said an announcement was made telling passengers the ferry was going to assist. He said: "It was quite a distance but you could quite clearly see a boat on the rocks and there was a couple of boats in the water. The RNLI were there and then they were joined by a coastguard helicopter."
He said rescuers winched the fishermen into the helicopter two at a time very close to the Old Man of Hoy rocks.
"I was absolute in awe of the people who were doing the rescue," he added.
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If you have enjoyed mr ishmael's obituary of Esther Rantzen today (never speak good of the dead), and you haven't yet purchased your set of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster, here's how to buy them from Amazon or Lulu.
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
