Another Incredibly Old National Treasure drops off the twig.
Good evening, and this is Huw Welshman, with the Ten o'clock News from the British Paedo News Corporation, with the news of another sad loss to the world of the Arts, well, strictly speaking, look you, it's showbusiness, isn't it, or light entertainment as we called it when I was growing up in the Valleys, listening to Workers Playtime, on the Light Programme, before it became Radio One, and Pick of the Pops, with Jack Jackson; those were the days, viewers, let me tell you, we'd listen to Family Favourites with Cliff Michelmore, great tunes by proper singers, like Mario Lanza, Perry Homo, I mean Como, no, he was never a poof, Maestro Como, although Bing Crosby was a bit of a sadist towards his children, and there was Saturday Club with Brian Matthew and most of the pop music we heard was cover versions, on the Billy Cotton Band Show. Billy Cotton? Fucked if I know, he was a big, bald, fat fucker,
like a cunt, he did; it was his catch phrase; fucking awful it was.
Anyway, at times like these, of national tragedy, we generally hear from a colleague of the deceased, telling us how wonderful they were, even if, as they usually were, they were utter cunts, and tonight, as a mark of special tribute to a national treasure, yes, another one, we are truly blessed in this country, aren't we, with national treasures, we celebrate the work of my dear, dear friend, Dame Patrick Stewart, in his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, 
in that great, uplifting drama, Star Trek. We great Shakespearian actors, we work all our lives in order to play comic book heroes, and this is why taxpayer funding for the arts is so very, very important, yes, so that boring, clapped-out old luvvies like Dame Patrick can go to Hollywood and earn millions of dollars. 
Anyway, at times like these, of national tragedy, we generally hear from a colleague of the deceased, telling us how wonderful they were, even if, as they usually were, they were utter cunts, and tonight, as a mark of special tribute to a national treasure, yes, another one, we are truly blessed in this country, aren't we, with national treasures, we celebrate the work of my dear, dear friend, Dame Patrick Stewart, in his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Yes, and Family Guy, too,
Alas, poor Peter Griffin, I knew him, Stewie, a man of no wit and less wisdom...
Dame Paddy appears in that most relevant and out-there satirical cartoon show, so brave, so very, very brave of him. One could weep for Dame Paddy's courage. I mean, it takes literally decades of training and self-discipline and no little creative intelligence and artistry to voice-over oneself in a cartoon show.
Alas, poor Peter Griffin, I knew him, Stewie, a man of no wit and less wisdom...
Dame Paddy appears in that most relevant and out-there satirical cartoon show, so brave, so very, very brave of him. One could weep for Dame Paddy's courage. I mean, it takes literally decades of training and self-discipline and no little creative intelligence and artistry to voice-over oneself in a cartoon show.
And that was Huw Welshman bringing you the sad news of the death at the age of only 86 of Sir Patrick Stewart, as Tributes pour in for "the most respected and beloved actor of his generation". Sir Ian McKellen, Sir Patrick's X-Men co-star, said: "He wore his heart on his sleeve, which made him a man to rely on, to admire and, in my case, love."
Tributes to the renowned British actor have poured in since his death at his Los Angeles home after "a brief and poignant journey" with Alzheimer's disease and Lewy Body Dementia was announced on Thursday.
The BBC said: "Famous for his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek, Sir Patrick was a versatile actor who won multiple awards, balancing Hollywood roles and a career in classical theatre".
Yere I am, again, reporting on the revolting French.
Ah yes, that's Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise holding out a red brief case.
Interviewed by Laura Kuenssberg this morning, All Saints Day, Chancellor Healey felt the unmistakeable sundering agony of a new arsehole being torn. 
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Terror in France
Islamist violence and the transformation of French politics.
Back to the Studio now for the news that a celebrity has asked the High Court to prevent two news organisations from publishing his identity and allegations that he abused his status for many years to engage, or attempt to engage, in "inappropriate sexual activities with a large number of girls and young women". The unnamed celebrity is seeking an injunction, and his legal team told the first day of a trial on Tuesday that any publication would be "highly likely" to lead him to kill himself. The judge, Mr Justice Nicklin, said there was "significant public interest" in the proceedings and that "this is a difficult and important case". Speaking as the former Huw Welshman, I feel for the unnamed celebrity. Look what they put me through, up to and including Doc Martin Clunes impersonating me in a mockumentary.
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All well and good, mrs ishmael, but what about the Budget?
Not quite, mrs ishmael. Keep up.
 |
| Chancellor Healey being comforted by the Prime Minister while his Cabinet Colleagues struggle to hide their boredom. |
"You've raided the country's rainy day money, what are called the reserves, " Laura accused him. "The IFS [Independent Financial Services Ltd], a well-respected independent number cruncher, has said that is categorically not what the reserves are for. You've spent 40% of the day-to-day reserves, 25% of what is known as the capital reserves. At a time like this, with so much uncertainty in the world, what are you doing spending the country's rainy-day money?" she fumed.
Squirming, Healey replied: "Look, the reserves are for the most important things for the Government. I've just used a bit of the reserves -"
Laura interrupted-: "It's 40% of the day-to-day reserves. That's not a bit, that's a lot."
This is the man who resigned his post of Defence Secretary from the Starmer government because Starmer would not commit to increasing defence spending to 3% of GDP. Not because there were better career opportunities in the Burnham camp. Oh, no. And now he is in the position to achieve the 3%, he is equivocating. And using the rainy day money on welfare.
I have finally understood why successive governments are so keen on encouraging immigration and why they insist it is good for the economy, whilst all the observable indicators demonstrate it isn't.
A country's total GDP grows simply because the population grows. This is a little economic trick politicians use to allow them to claim that they are achieving growth, which, of course, allows them to borrow even more.
Does it ever occur to you that we are being led by donkeys?
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Days Out in the English Countryside: Castle Howard
No complaints at all - perfect day, trees in their autumn dresses, clean toilets and a pleasant café. And red squirrels. The Castle Howard Arboretum Trust has successfully established a breeding program for red squirrels, with 15 kits born in 2023 and successfully released into the wild in Wales. The Red Squirrel Enclosure, designed and built by Arboretum staff and volunteers, allows visitors to observe these endangered creatures in their natural habitat. The enclosure covers 2,500 square metres and includes a grove of oaks and other trees, providing a safe environment for the squirrels to live. Little Cinnamon jumped onto the viewing platform to collect nuts which she busily danced off to bury in the leaf litter, while her mate, David, snoozed in his lair high up in a tree. The incredibly knowledgeable Squirrel Expert explained that David usually takes an afternoon nap. There was another female earlier in the year, but a bird of prey scooped her up and ate her. The principle threat to red squirrels, our indigenous species, is from grey squirrels, an American import which does everything better than our chaps - aggressive, bigger fellows, the Greys out-breed and out-forage the delicate little Reds. Measures to prevent them from taking over entirely include the development of a squirrel contraceptive.
The parallel with Orkney's stoat situation has not escaped me.
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Thanks to the late mr ishmael for his contribution to this week's Obituary Corner.
If you have not yet purchased your set of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster, now might be a good time to secure your copies. Something to read in the shelter. Here's how to buy them from Amazon or Lulu.
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
