Libyan rebels, driving firstly one way up the road and then quickly back down it again, have called for fresh supplies of bullets for their AK47s.
We have now fired them all up into the air, said Mr Ali Baba, all the bullets, and have none left to shoot at the devil, Gadaffi. Please send us some more so that we may resume firing them pointlessly into the sky; the men love it, that and crying, crying and shouting and firing our guns at passing clouds, it's what the revolution is all about. And running away. What, engage the proper army, you must, effendi, be fucking joking, we are waiting for NATO boys to do that.
In the Westminster parliament, Britain's unelected prime minister, CallHimWinston, said that resolution 1973 was carefully worded to allow Western leaders to do exactly as they pleased in Libya. We will protect the civilians by urging them to become a fully-fledged army, the useless wog bastards, and try to get them to fire their weapons horizontally. At that time, of course, they won't be civilians any more and so what we'll be doing is protecting an army, armed by us and the Frogs, from another army, armed by us and the Frogs and so we'll have to call it all a humitarian crisis. And if that doesn't work, we'll just bomb the whole place to fuck, as usual.
What, the cost? No, wars don't cost anything, they are paid for from a contingency fund, which is just like, well, just like magic, really. And if you believe that you'll believe any fucking thing. And you do. Repeat after me, wars don't cost anything because they are paid for from a contingency fund of special non-existent, magic money, not taken from taxation or anything. So, as a matter of fact, we can have as many wars as we want, as many as the situation demands, the more unpopular we are, the more wars we can have. It's quite simple, really, don't see what the fuss is all about.
Field Marshal Flashman. Double First and military expert.
Yes, Americans won the Battle of Britain for us.
And I am very grateful to them.