WHAT THE PAPERS SAY, THE FILTH-O-GRAPH , POPE NAZI IN JOHNNY ROW

Ministers apologise for condom insult to Pope

 

The Government has apologised to the Pope over official documents that mocked his forthcoming visit to Britain by suggesting he should bless a gay marriage and even launch Papal-branded condoms.

Prime Minister Snot has personally apologised to His Holiness for the insult and injury caused. Everybody knows, insisted Mr Snot, that His Holiness's employees don't wear condoms when buggering the little children as God would frown on it and in any event it takes all the pleasure out if it. As for acts of holy oral sex with the  little ones, well, they wouldn't be nuch fun for the children would they, tasting of rubber?

The British Government is determined that in his upcoming visit Pope Nazi is able to perusade UK catholics the Brownliness is next to Godliness. And that George Robertson is innocent. Amen. It is the right thing for the country.

Leading UK catholics - Tony and Imelda Blair - have assured the nation that Benny is a pretty, straight guy and would never do anything wrong. God bless you all, That will be twenty thousand pounds, please.