GENERAL ELECTION SCOTLAND. POLITICS FOR UGLY PEOPLE.

TAVISH McHOOTER OF THE SCOTTISH SHITEATERS.

Tavish McHooter, MSP  leader of the Jock ShitEaters and Big Al Carmichael, MP, one of the English ones, banished to Scotland.

McTavish is  being minded by BigBoy Alastair Carmichael, MP,  above, who has been sent up from London  a) to curb Mr McHooter's personal Reichbuilding, for which he is notorious,  the ginger prat and b) to keep him out of the way of the English campaign; Carmichael, MP for Orkney and Shetland,  is accustomed to lecturing his six-toed, inbred ladymen farmers and fishermen in weary, know-it-all words of one syllable, grows a beard and then shaves it off  with every crisis of identity and as a former Scottish lawyer has made the one career move which could have brought him into further contempt than he was previously held.  Seen below, in his leisure wear,

honest, not invent, canny ShitEater strategists (Nick and Consuela Maria Elena don Pedro Tortilla Domingo Gonzalez Clegg) have decided that Big Al, rampaging around England, bullying voters, might not go down too well and sent him up here, where it doesn't matter a fuck what he does.

McHooter, by the customary ShitEaters' methods of backstabbing  and innuendo, wrested control of the party from former leader, Nicol Steven, who resigned to spend more time with his family after McHooter's whispering campaign. The Jock LibDems, under McHooter, have all but disappeared from the radar, eclipsed by the once fashionable but now dreary and clapped-out Tribesmen and increasingly by JockLabour, as vile and hypocritical as ever but marginally more palatable without the revolting Wendy FishFace Alexander at their thieving helm.