Mary Nesbitt, Fishwife Supremo of the the Jock Tribesmen's Party, barracking journalists outside the Edinburgh Court, after another historic defeat.
Ye see yon Court, hen, wull that's just a shite court that is. Wes were wanting tae get oor Alec, the First Jock, on the teevee, wi' all them English gabshites only they wouldnae let him, simply because he's no' standin' in the election. It disnae matter cos it wisnae oor money paid fer the brief, but even so, if ever there wisnee a case for an independent Scotland under King Alec and then under me, hen, this isnae it, Vote SNP fer free everything.
If the SNP had won its case there can be no doubt that Sir Alec and not wee Nicola would have been facing the cameras. Dopey John Swinney takes the flak for the financial fuck-ups, gobby Nicola for the PR gaffes, Fatboy stays at home eating homebakes until there's some good, smirking, soundbiting news, What a gang,