Saturday, 10 April 2010


Gordon Snot, today,  on the proposed Sam'n'Daves'  marriage bribes:

"Well, of course I believe strongly in marriage........

......and that's why I delayed it until I was in my fifties and couldn't delay it any longer. Not if I wanted anyone to believe me. Which they don't anyway."

Gordon and Mrs Sarah-George Snot on their wedding day.


PT Barnum said...

That's the most human I've ever seen Brown look. Wifey looks a bit strained and artificial but he looks genuinely happy and relaxed. (Cue the pizzacrowd with their jibes about drugs...) A man whose reach exceeded his grasp. As a big fish in a small pond of no great social import he would have thrived. Now he resembles that 'melting wedding cake' slight at Auden, but far more bitter and disappointed in the world's failure to measure up to his standards.

a young anglo irish catholic said...

He looks relaxed because the last obstacle to No10 has been removed.

At least Heath stuck to his guns, even if Private Eye finally told the truth about his evenings in that Pub with the big windows at the top of the North End Road.

You know the one. Right on the corner by the A4.

call me ishmael said...

I was struck by his immediate artificiality when questioned about the Sam'n'Daves' impudent suggestiion that a coupla quid a week would encourage the lower orders to do the decent thing and get married. Sotto voce and in patriarchal, faux-scholarly mode - you knwo, that insane over-articulation of words, sol-you-shuns, disol-you-shuns, alky- aida - he insisted that he and Sarah-George were normal matrimony personified and that he was the most vaahl-ewes driven individual in the country; pleading his normality and his virtue have become his default response. Cleggie, however, dumb, pushy and low-grade as he is, at least responded humanly - and accurately - this is drivel, he scoffed, he and Mrs Maria Elena Tortilla San Juan Speedy Gonzalez Cleggie apparently pissing themselves at Cameron's guache, transparent Victorian moralising.

I was surprised, too, searching for the wedding picture, by how well-composed he seemed and I guess mr yiac's obsrvation about hurdles overcome explains it.

Others' failure to meassure up to his own opinion of himself is a good motif for his entire parliamentary career; he is a nasty bully and it is a constant mystery to me, has bee for years, why people like him don't appear with eyes blackened, lips thickened and cauliflower ears.

The cops had a word with the Grocer, I believe, about his ccttaging, but then they probably have had a word with all of them.

PT Barnum said...

Mr yaic's assessment makes perfect sense and I concede it as the explanation for his relaxation and her tension.

I see him as the perfect model for a particular type of academic: a snide bully who relishes destroying a student's confidence, whose certainty about his own ill-researched theories is delivered with such bombast that all others merely roll their eyes and turn their ears off, except for the idealistic young who are battered into submission by his patronising pseudo-intellect when they dare to ask a question which lances the boil of his overwhening ego.

yardarm said...

It`s amazing how an inadequate bully at the top can survive and indeed prosper, Mr Ishmael. Spent a decade working for a bloke very much like Gordo: unjustified sense of entitlement, publicly clicking his fingers and effing and blinding at even his senior managers, hurling cups of tea at the canteen staff. He managed to run a 130 year old company into the ground. And a coward too: locking himself in his office when the debt collectors came knocking and I ended up chasing him across the car park for information when the local rag tipped us off we had gone bankrupt.

And in a factory with a fair few hard nuts nary a hand laid on him.

Another comparison it might be worth drawing between Brown and Heath is sulking. Heath`s was directed at one person. Brown`s will be directed at us all. He saved us,he could have led us to the Promised Land but we rejected him for a Scion of Privilege like Cameron.

God, will he hate us.

woman on a raft said...

Simpler than that, even.

He finally married his mother.

Using the word 'married' euphemistically. For those with strong stomachs see Tesco Magazine, March/April p.35-37. It is online with, God save us, audio clips, at Tesco's own site.

The reason for accepting this explanation is that Ma was on the way out and the interview goes as far as saying:

"Fiona: How much strength was she able to give you when your daughter Jennifer died?
Gordon: She was very old at that point, so it was very difficult for her, but she was very helpful to Sarah.

Fiona: Was she pleased when you and Sarah were finally married?
Gordon: I think so. Sarah and my mother got on incredibly well together.
Fiona: So she left you in safe hands.
Gordon: I think she felt that, yes."

It also explains why Sarah looks awful; she has settled for being the cipher for a nearly-dead woman and a not-noticably-alive man.

It's worse than one of those ghost stories where the deceased possess the bodies of willing victims so they can continue to live through others.

call me ishmael said...

Fuck me, Jesus, Mrs woar, that is creepy; I'd rather not think that one all the way through to the nuptials, Christ almighty.

"It`s amazing how an inadequate bully at the top can survive and indeed prosper,...."

I remember, during Spunky Bill's non-impeachment and when the entire Democratic party and most of the so-called liberal media were wanting to burn Monica Lewinsky at the stake, thinking to myself Doesn't this girl have a big brother, or even a little one, to go and bat this arsehole one in the mouth ? But most, in the land of the free, turned away at best or else damned her for corrupting their rottenbastard President, it taking, as Murkins nodded sagely, two to tango; he the most powerful man in the world, she a volunteer, starstruck, young enough to be his daughter, though not as ugly as the hamsterfaced Chelsea. Chelsea, I ask you, wankers.

As for Snotty's departure, does anyone know if, like that other great reforming leader, Adolf Hitler he is pursuing a scorched earth policy, putting shit in the filing cabinets, superglue in the locks and burning the remaining money,

I remain unconvinced that he will be ousted by the idiot, Sam'n'Dave Cameron and his Shopkeepers' Alliance, although a Shit-Snot pact could well see his removal as the price for Labour staying in reduced office. Now, that would be sweet, Labour staying, Snotty going; I doubt he could cope with that.

mrs narcolept said...

I don't think we've seen the last of the Monstrous Ruiner. My dear mr narcolept mumbled something this morning before attending to some of his motorbikes that we have been through all this before in 1992, all the polls and everyone you met saying we are sick of the sight of the Tories, ay Laybour victory, ay Laybour victory, was assured, and look what happened.

call me ishmael said...

These Hells Angels, mrs n, they have a nose for these things.

Lord Kinnock, at least he got his reward at the EuroTrough, Glenys, too and the baby Kinnocks, probably the grandchildren, too, there's bound to be some of the little ginger bastards.