I may have aged, but I am even more important now that I have driven the Prime Minister out of office and yeere I am standing outside the closed door of Number 10.
The nation is disappointed, look you.
Where was the humility?
Where were the tears?
We wanted remorse.
We wanted apologies.
You would think he had an overwhelming mandate from the British people to lead the country out of Europe, the way he carries on, and, talking of Carrie, she was lined up outside Number 10 during The Speech, with the latest Johnson Minor strapped to yer chest - in our Programme we have some archive footage of the Prime Minister with his proper wife of 20 yeeers before he started having Ugandan discussions with Ms Symonds.
And I am yeere to tell the nation that the Conservative Parliamentary Party don't like being called a herd. The tone stinks. We have rounded up some oardinary people who are giving their oardinary views that the Prime Minister has let the nation down and we will show you pictures of Conservatives who may or may not stand for the leadership of the Parliamentary Conservative Party and I have yeere BBC commentators who are not as wonderful as I yam, but will do to fill a few hours on this historic afternoon when the Prime Minister resigned, but not reelly and we at the BBC will do our best to ensure for the good of the nation that he goes as soon as possible .
I am being Huw Welshman, short, belligerent and reporting yeere from the street outside the closed door of 10, Downing Street. Good Day to all our viewers who have joined us yeere today to celebrate our victory.