Friday 23 December 2011

SCIENCE NEWS. Large Hadron Collider finds new particle

from Tom Clarke,  Channel Four News's science correspondent.

It is the tiniest, most infinitessimally small   particle, a truly amazingly small scrap of matter that not even the most amazingly powerful nuclear-powered laser microscope  would ever of been able  of seeing with the naked eye,  said Professor Brian Smile of the BBC and D'Ream, below, and of the Large Handheld Kettle. Or whatever.

Professor Cox sings his hit, Things Can Only Get Smaller, or Bigger.
Depending on your point of universal view.
But isn't it all just really, like, amazing.

It was so small that   we had to build this big tunnel  thing and smash things into one another at the speed of light, just to be able to get a glimpse of it, but we finally found Prince William's brain. I'll just do this visual aid thing to show you how big Prince William's brain is:  Or small.  See this dot . ? This dot is a hundred gazillion times bigger than William's brain.  In fact, it is a hundred trillion gazillion times bigger than William's brain.

His brother? Find his brother's brain?   No, that's beyond us, if, indeed, it exists at all, which no-one sort  of believes  it does.

 Their Royal Brainlessnesses enjoy a Bullingdon moment with some doxy.


a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

Excellent Wills and Henry pic.

You'll only see it here.

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

This just in....we're all in the site together.

Osborne & Little, the fine furnishing fabrics and wallpaper business majority-owned by the Chancellor’s family fell into the red this year as rising raw material prices took their toll, its latest accounts show.

The £32.8m turnover company, which has glamorous showrooms on the Kings Road in London and in Paris, Munich and Milan, paid one director £736,000 in salary and pension contributions.
But no dividend was distributed to its shareholders, led by Sir Peter Osborne, who founded the firm with his brother-in-law Antony Little in 1968. George Osborne retains a 15pc stake via a trust.

Sir Peter, the 17th holder of a hereditary baronetcy, said the rise in raw material prices had reduced its gross margins to 53pc and that had directly led to the loss.

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...


banned said...

Now they have looked at this particle doesn't it turn into something else, what's the bloody point?

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr banned, that is the extent of my knowledge of quantum - or any other sort of - physics; the act of measuring something changes it, an activity which, on the face of it, seems pointless, at best. And anyway, if God had wanted me to see all this tiny shit He woulda given me microscopes instead of eyes. If,however, the LHC results in people in Africa being able to get a drink of clean water it won't all have been a waste of time, eh? It's just that it won't, Earthly remedies don't figure in Brian Cox's contramundal, showbiz universe.

There is a Zen truth lurking somewhere inside this huge vanity project, the limits of knowability, maybe we just can't know what makes shit tick, not via language, reason and mathematics, anyway, not by abstraction, maybe it is all to be known simply by being. But there's no TeeVee shows in that old hippyshit.

call me ishmael said...

Does this have an impact, mr yaic, on Wee Georgie's ski-ing holidays? Wouldn't weant the worthless, whining little cunt to go without, would we?

yardarm said...

Thanks for that, Mr Yaic, made my day. It was Osborne who made that snide, shitty speech about being on the side of low paid workers pissed off at the drawn curtains of their benefit scrounging neighbours. Although Osborne has never been low paid, or indeed, a worker: at anything.

My curtains and my work status are my business, not my neighbours and certainly not the concern of any braying Bullingdon class warrior. And if less than gorgeous George`s curtains are drawn that`s only because he`s being flagellated by his dominatrix again.

Like most prole bashing inhabitants of MediaMinster Osbum is a hypocrite, a layabout, poncing off the trust fund while building his slimy political career, the worthless little fart.

Insofar as anyone is, he is the tactician behind the Tories, trying to mobilise low paid private sector workers into hating their public sector oppos or the unemployed: the flatulent pallid ponce is too thick to realise millions transit from one to the other every year.

All nauseatingly rich coming from a workshy deadbeat who as an MP and Chancellor is now one of the country`s best paid public sector officials.

So hopefully his trust fund`s down the toilet and with any luck his Christmas will be improved by his wife running off with a Chris Huhne`s new wife and him noticing his children bear an uncanny resemblance to Boris Johnson.

Trevor said...

Of course what has never been noticed is that the benefit from over cooked rice husk is more than relished by the over forties, who, in themselves, tend not to trouble parsons (or vicars) over the age of 45 with retulated eyebrows.
It thus seems to me that there must be a better way than just holding out a long reticulation and hoping for a quick transportation module.

call me ishmael said...

Ah,Bravo, mr yardarm, Bravo. I remember that despicable curtains speech, the wretched little shitsucker needs a good Up against the wall, motherfuckering, just for that; if people had said that sort of thing - despise and mistrust your neighbours - in the war, they'd have been had up for, what would it be?? Sedition, undermining the war effort, lowering te national morale, what an utter fucking Hoon. I have said it before, first thing is raze the public schools to the ground. And everybody in them.

Yours is a fascinating series of observations, mr trevor, but I fear that we come late to the table and their purpose and continuity escape us - is it hitchhiking to which you refer or is it healthfoods and Anglicanism? Wichever it is or if it is all three, I regret to say that I'm fucked if I know; do, please, take as much space as you wish or need, in order to illuminate us.

Dick the Prick said...

A cliche it may be but Osbum has a face one would never tire of punching.

The LHC does probably serve a purpose, that science has an inexorable purpose to strive for its next unknown but that there exists a half built LHC in Texas I think proves that billions squandered here and there is the price of progress and everything else can go fuck itself.

call me ishmael said...

I am sure there is something to it, mr dtp and I approve of lots of it, NASA and Hubble especially; I just wish we could do the food and water and shelter thing, too.

It's like the NHS, never mind IVF - just fix cancer and heart disease and diabetes, first; these things kill people.