Thursday 22 October 2009

THE DAILY DUNCAN

A regular, skymadeupnewsandfilth feature in which we record the number of British service personnel killed in order that democracy, as represented by Mr Duncan, be maintained,




256 DEAD & Countless Maimed
But that's just so far.
LOOK IN EVERY DAY TO SEE HOW MANY MORE TROOPS HAVE DIED FOR ALAN'S WAY OF LIFE. IT'S A MAN'S LIFE IN THE ARMY, THAT'S WHY HE'S NOT IN IT.

Well, I must simply say, grins cheeky chappy, Alan, that it had gone a bit quiet on the Afghan front, up the Khyber Pass, but another sound fellow has fallen today, an MP, I understand, only not the important type, like myself, has made the ultimate sacrifice which of course we should all be prepared to make, if only some of us weren't so jolly important.

Take me, for instance, I'm so important that not only can I not do gardening but I can't pay for someone else to do it and have to mug the jolly old taxpayer for the cost of same. It is a splendid system and well worth brave men dying for although it would be rather more helpful if they could manage a decent show, say ten or twenty dead at a time, so that David Cameron could make a rather better fist of it at PMQs, if you know what I mean, giggle.

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4 comments:

codumbo, an icelandic banker in london said...

of course, the truth is that the members of parliament are all blameless. there was definitely something very fishy going on, of course, that i will grant you, that is why i was duly appointed to perform an undercover para-investigation into the house of commons' expense-procedures - but after a thorough forensic examination of all the accounts, computers, premises and various reports of things going bump in the night, i have come to the firm conclusion that the overpayments have arisen because the unpurged spirit of guido fawkes has, for a considerable period of time, been making a sophisticated series of ghost expense-claims. i thank you for your assistance.

A small corner of an MP's garden said...

Being a bit of an internet dummy,and having spent the day trying to learn how to link to images and photos,without success,i have had to concede defeat in my attempt to post a photo of Tyne Cot Cemetery,with a caption suggesting that perhaps the taxpayer would be willing to undertake a makeover of Mr Duncans garden,in a style that would reflect the true cost of his claim.
But i'm sure you get my drift.

rutland flymo massacre said...

20:10

and if we bury him in it, i'm sure that taxpayers would be more than happy to offer their land-scaping services for free. i'll certinly knock up an epitaph if someone accidentally trims his suit with a lawnmower.

the ghost of guido said...

00:45

i was merely engaged in some constructive criticism, don't ya know?