Thursday, 8 October 2009

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY. NEW POLITiCAL PARTY LAUNCHED

skymadeupnewsandfilth was today reporting the launch of a new political party, the Pizza-Cardigan Party, or the PCP.



The party, Mr Pizza and Mr Cardigan, is pictured here at it's inaugural lunch, sorry, launch meeting at the BBC, like the BBC, Mr Pizza and Mr Cardigan are members of the Main Stream Media. Mainstream party politics. Only online.

Mr Pizza, a flamboyant father-of-two, said his party would fight the election in the interests of the children - killing Palestinian ones and stuffing gold in the mouths of his own - and that as economics and drinking spokesman he would be promoting the party's trickle-up strategy of wealth creation. It's self-explanatory, really, said Mr Pizza; via taxation, money trickles-up from the poor to the rich so they can get as drunk as they like without any of that breathalyser nonsense. There, a perfectly-formed manifesto. Mature non-politics; murder, greed and irresponsibility. Political historian? No, begorrah, what's one of them?

Mr Cardigan said that he was traditional, rather like a cardigan himself, unimaginative and boring and easily pulled apart, but I'll wear one all day and all night if it gets me elected as a Tory MP, I mean a PCP MP. Politics? Oh no, I don't do that. Cliche and platitude, that's my thing, name-dropping, do a bit of that.

Mr Pizza said his new party would be fiercely patriotic in an all-night rave sort of a way and would, therefore, be registered in the European Republic of Ireland to avoid paying any tax in the country in whose politics he so meddled. Rich people, in any event, shouldn't pay taxes, how else were they to bring to its knees, requiring massive remedial public subsidy, the free-for-all system which Mr Fawkes, chancellor-in-waiting, has for so long applauded.

stay tuned to skymadeupnewsandfilth for exciting new political developments. Not like this.
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13 comments:

Dick the Prick said...

It was nice to see 'em both together.

Dick the Prick said...

Err..wottsontelly - there's a programme on BBC3 called 'kids with machetes' - ....gaddzooks!

mongoose said...

What is the point exactly of Mr Dale? Or is he some sort of parodic art installation and I have missed the point?

Swiss Bob said...

That's funny, it's Fawkes that looks like a fat poof.

Edgar said...

Ah, I always feel a little sorry for the real Guy fawkes ... the only man to exit Parliament without even a duck moat to his name.

P.T. Barnum said...

Pizzabuoy appears to have found a use for i-Dale, a man who evidently likes bottoming. In my heydey Professional Gays confined themselves to the entertainment sphere, unless they were Peter Tatchell (antipodean and therefore not expected to be artistic). I regard it as progress that now anyone can be gay, whatever their occupation or dress sense. But I cannot shake the suspicion of bandwagoning by Dale and Duncan as I struggle to picture them with posters of Ronaldo on their bedroom walls and a body building magazine beside the lav.

granny knott said...

i wasn't aware that jeremy spake was taking up a career in politics. i'm really quite disappointed in him - and i always thought he was such a nice man too.

spark up said...

fawkes is a funny old fish, really. apart from one essentially brown-baiting piece about obama removing winston churchill's bust from the whitehouse (thanks to this great briton's stewardship of nazi-emulating concentration-camping and habitual shoot-to-kill atrocities, which resulted in a couple-of-hundred-thousand dead kikuyu kenyans during the mau-mau struggle), i don't remember herr traffik kop fawkes doing anti-british - and in any case, that post was probably written by one of his secretaries. i'm not saying that he should do anti-british - it's just that his reticence is a bit odd for someone with irish-indian parentage...you'd think it only natural for him to grind the old anti-colonialist axe occasionally, wouldn't you? maybe i'm being overly suspicious and my implication of his heritage unfair, but sometimes those tadpoles born outside the tory-establishment-pond, yet wishing desperately to metamorphosise into fully-fledged toads, are far more zealous conservatives than the native newts themselves cf. boris johnson.

gilbert and george said...

21:38

you rumbled us, mr m

osama bin well-gutted said...

obama wins nobel fuckin peace prize? didn't the twin towers count for anyfuckinthing? where were the bloody stockholm judges on 9/11, i ask you? western imperialist fuckin stitch-up. i started it, and what did i get? i give up. i'm joining the green party. what cruel fate - just one letter the difference between becoming a living peace god and the anti-christ. i blame my parents.

st tony the baptist said...

15:53

i'm none too chuffed either mate. and cherie can stuff her affirmative action up her bottom.

the taliband said...

15:53

we send you our most heartfelt commiserations, osama. this decision is about as popular as a stick of yankee dynamite at a wedding party.

st tony the baptist said...

15:53

where were the bloody stockholm judges on 9/11, i ask you?

enjoying a swinging swedish sauna with michelle, i believe. jesus knows it could have been me basking in the glory and limelight today...but tragically, four judges fell to an horrific death whilst attempting to negotiate a notoriously dangerous overhanging section of cherie's arse.