Mayoral pockets are bulging with bribes from the Telegraph, says Boris Johnson. Has the mayor no shame?
by Boris Johnson
Published: 6:18AM BST 19 Oct 2009
Boris Johnson who miraculously became Mayor of London a while back, finds time in his busy schedule of running a city of twelve million pounds, sorry, citizens to write Wodehouseian guff and drivel, stout fellow, for the Telegraph; guff and drivel like this which you are, ahem, reading at the moment, only not if you are Liverpudlian, obviously.
It beggars belief that a man with a full-time job as a gossip columnist and TV celebrity buffoon should be moonlighting in a job which any old bloke off the street couldn’t help but do better and I really shouldn’t do it. If it was the job at the Telegraph, or the job at City Hall, well, I know which side my smoked salmon canape is buttered. If I want to be PM and by Golly, I do, but not in a racist sense, of course, by Golly, I mean, not being prime minister. Start again, if I want to be prime minister and, fuck me, gently, I do, then I need to keep writing Good Egg, Boris drivel, for the weirdoes at the Telegraph but I also need to keep using the people of London as an experiment of my New Toryism, by Jingo. So, a chap should always have his cake buttered on both sides, and eat it. That’s that sorted-out, Good-Oh.