THOSE WIKILEAKS. NOW AT THE FILTH-O-GRAPH

WIKILEAKS REVEALS MORE 9/11 SHIT.

Exclusive: FBI hunts September 11 gang who are still at large

 The bureau is said to be hunting at least three conspirators who are still at large. The 9/11 Commission said that there was a network of US accomplices, although it stopped short of saying that these included demolitions experts.

Hate to tell the G-Men their business but maybe they should try the Bush Monkey House, Crawford, Texas.

Our own demolitions expert, the late Professor Fred Dibnah, 

 said Oh, Aye, like, they'd've 'ad to 'ave 'ad the 'ole place wired up, like, fer it to 'ave come down like that, otherwise it wuddna wukked, I mean, them things just don't fall down, like, in their own footprint, 'sagin all them laws a physics, like. They must think folks is bloomin' stupid, like. An' 'appen they are.

 

If y'ask me, like, continued a thoughtful Professor Dibnah, it were that bloke wot were in't White House, George Dubya somethin' or other,  Aye, Chimp, that were it, George Dubya Chimp, mark my words, when t'dust settles, an' they're all dead, like, it'll all come out,  in't wash, like.

NEW MEDAL LAUNCHED

The Blair Foundation announced today the introduction of the Imelda Cross, an honour to be awarded to those who have distinguished themselves in the fields of lying, blackmail, bribery, deceit, corruption and mass murder.

All members of parliament are to receive their medals immediately from the Empress Imelda Blair-Booth-Slotgob, herself. Imelda's paid best friend has let it be known that Her Serenity's fee for this service will be awarded to charity, ie herself. Below, Imelda's husband, Tony, sports an earlier medal given him for cowardice by some American gangsters.

NO STONE TURNED

I am today, Mr Nearly DunSpeakin’, launching a far-reaching cover-up into the entirely legal and proportionate and may I say, Mr Dunspeakin’, brief, Iraq incursion which has led to millions of deaths but most of them wogs and which, I remind honourable and right honourable members, we all voted for, apart from the Liberal party and nobody gives, Mr Dunspeakin’, a fuck about them, walking about in sandals and paying young men to defecate into their mouths, Mr Dunspeakin’, as they do. And nor, I remind the house, does anyone give a fuck about the wogs, obviously. Or we wouldnae a been firing cruise missiles at half a million quid apiece into their school playgrounds; only not Brother KeithVaz and Brother Trevor Phillips who are, as near as damnit, Mr Dunspeakin’, decent, white Presbyterians. Only still nig-nogs at heart.

The enquiry will find that many were to blame but none are accountable and this is in the finest traditions of this house, alongside the so-called flipping of second homes, the avoidance of capital gains tax and the acting like worthless thieving bastards which so distinguishes my cabinet and the gentlemen-comedians, coke-snorters, arse-bandits, grave robbers, child molesters, shoefetishfreaks and bagladies opposite.

The enquiry will find that the world is indeed a much better place without the late Mr Hussein who, in the best traditions of my party, the Labour Party, was publicly hanged, thus providing much amusement in the Washington Chimpanzee House, even though it isn’t, the world, that is. Mr Dunspeakin’, a better place but far worse. But we will find, Mr Dunspeakin’ that salaries and pensions in this place will be adjusted to allow for the fact that members are no longer able to run a property business on the side, and this would be the right thing for the hard-working homeless families and small goneoutofbusiness businesses up and down the country, if we want the best in parliament we need to pay members salaries commensurate with those received by other organised criminals.

There will need to be a mild rebuke of the Papist Blair and his woman, Imelda, but nothing which would tarnish his reputation as a peace-making man of God - only not, I point out, modestly, a son of the fucking manse - else the whole house of cards might come tumbling down.

If crimes there are then they will be found to have been committed by rogue private soldiers and not by our friend, Major-General Rupert Jockstrap-Golightly or indeed any commissioned member of Her Majesty’s First Rocking Horse Cavalry whom, as members will know, we may well need to deploy at home against the people if our freedoms are to be preserved

Once again the house is indebted to Baron Peter FitzYuri of Hart-le-pool for finding some blackmailable civil servant to chair the cover-up. Guided by my own moral compass, Lord Peter, twice disgraced and exiled has returned to the bosom of the party which spawned him, or he, or he, or he, or he, Mr Dunspeakin’, it.

I have said recently, Mr Dunspeakin’, that I would listen, that I would listen, that I would listen, that I would listen more to what, to what, to what, to what, to what people say, Mr Dunspeakin’ and people are saying they want a full, open and very public enquiry into why we presided over such a catalogue of war crimes, why my right honourable friend, Mr Jack Torture, lied his face off to the UN and why the Papist Blair, immediately upon leaving office, was found to have such banking skills that Messrs GlobaDeath engaged him at five million dollars a year; people, rightly want to know who did and said what and to whom and why and they want it all out in the open. So Mr Dunspeakin’ the enquiry will sit entirely in private, or in camera, as we scholars say and will report only to me exactly what I have told it to; it is only by a full and frank cover-up such as this that we will be able to keep the homeless families and small goneoutofbusiness businesses entirely in the dark and at our mercy and I commend this cover-up to the house.

Cheers! hear-hear! hear-hear! For Gordon’s a jolly good ladyman!Hurrah!

WHO LET THAT FILTHY RACIST SCUM IN HERE?

MR NICK GRIFFIN, ABOVE, OF THE RACIST BNP IS INTERVIEWED BY THE BBC'S HUW WELSHMAN



Mr Griffin, haven't you told a pack of lies to the house of commons?

No

Mr Griffin have you and your bi-curious, dipsomaniac press spokesman, Ali, cobbled together a load of lies to facilitate the invasion of a sovereign wog-nation? the cradle, while we're at it, of civili-bloody-sation?

No.

And I put it to you that over five hundred of you voted for an illegal invasion of a wog country, didn't you?

No.

And I further put it to you, isn't it, look you, that you helped launch said attack on a defenceless wog-population, because without you, the oppressor, George the WogBasher, would not have acted, isn't it ?

No.

Alright then, boyo, and mind you give us a clear answer, now, do you deny that once you had bombed the shit out of the poor wogs in Baghdad you turned your attention to the the inhabitants of Fallujah and poured illegal weapons down on a civilian population, isn't it ?

No.

And then you just yanked the wogs off the fucking street and tortured them in Abu Ghraib, electrodes and dogs and all that shit, surely you can't deny that, didn't you collude with and permit wog-torture and doesn't this prove that you are a racist thug?

No.

And that you were quite happy for Uncle Sam to haul wogs, any wogs, off the street anywhere in the world and fly them off to sunny Cuba to be tortured to fuck, isn't it, because, lets face it, all wogs are terrorists, isn't it, isn't this the policy of your party ?

No.

Well, frankly, Mr Griffin, listeners will be wondering about all this, surely you can't deny that your Defence Minister, Mr Geoff the Cunt Hoon said that Iraqi bitches would thank him for having blown their kids to bits, he said it here on this very programme, I put it to you, isn't it ? Can you deny that it was the policy of your government to deploy illegal weapons in an illegal war and lie your fucking bollocks off to the whole world before fucking off to America and hoovering-up millions of dollars in bribes, isn't it, do we look stupid, Mr Griffin, or what, isn't it ? And your own greedy slapper Mrs, Imelda Griffin, how can she go around pretending to be a human rights lawyer, never mind a fucking judge in the English fucking Court when she persuaded all your colleagues' Mrses and bints that they should all vote to bomb the bleeding wogs? Look you, Mr Griffin, if all this isn't racism then I'm fucked if I know what is. I mean isn't it true that you don't even count the dead wogs in Iraq, you don't even count the dead civilians, isn't that about as racist as Hitler, your hero, Mr Griffin, look you ? Come on, own up Mr Griffin, you and your party are nothing but racist, warmongering filth, isn't it ?

I think, if you don't mind my saying so, you have the wrong filthy, racist scum, here.

.......THE LAST GREAT HOPE FOR MANKIND

YES, WE CAN.

Give these soldies a pizza.

IT TOLLS FOR THEE

 

HUGH WELSHMAN, HERE, FOR THE BBC

Load of old bollocks, if you ask me, look you. GIs on safari. Spot the wog and blow his head off. I mean, if the wogs came storming into Merthyr Tydfil, kicking the fucking doors in, isn't it, look you, like the co-a-fucking-lition do, dragging poor Owen off to Caernarvon Castle and wiring his wedding tackle up to the National fucking grid, then we Taffies would not be best pleased, not a bit of it. Probably not do anything about it, mind, boyo, just go down underground and sing We'll Keep A Welcome In The Hillsides - Only Not For Muslims, in four-part harmony, look you, and hope for the best. Great singers, the Welsh.

But your raghead Ay-rab, he's different. Takes it personal, he does. A gang of psychobastard, crewcut Momma'sBoy GI Joes winning hearts and minds by gang-raping his sister, not that they do, of course, and slapping his mother around, just like she was Vietnames, not that they do that, either, only when they feel like it; stress, you see, sometimes the grannyporn channel breaks down in the barracks and the poor lambs have to go and rape somebody to death. 'Sthe American way, e pluribus unum, the many into one. Something like that, anyway, struggle with latin, I do, Kirsty, English not even my first language, bit like you.

No, Jeremy, your wog, he doesn't care for all this Shock and Awe shit, and who could fucking blame him, really ? Funny isn't it, look you, how when the Yanks or the Israelis knock out a school or a hospital it's all down to some software error in the Pentagon but when some wog wraps himself in Semtex and does the same thing it's a whole different sort of uncivilised behaviour. Clash of cultures they call it, look you. Japs was the same. In the last World War. Little yellow bastards'd just down a thimble full of rice wine and go and crash their planes into defenceless US Warships. North Koreans, millions of the short-arse toothy bastards charging the machineguns and only one in ten of them had a weapon, the VietCong the same. If only they'd had nuclear weapons they could've fought clean, like, isn't it, and instead of taking their own lives they could've roasted a load of civilians, like you often have to in order to make the world a better place.

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, that's a line from the great Welsh poet, Wilfrid Owen, isn't it, and it means it's great for enlisted men to throw themselves on grenades or squat-down on rusty bayonets so's the politicians can stay safe at home, banging each others' wives and making fortunes, just like Mr Hoon does, the cunt, and that mouthy, blind git, Blunkett - fuck me sideways, Andrew, is there a more obnoxious bastard in the country than him? I mean, if you was to trawl the United fucking Kingdom, even in Scotland, looking for someone to beat in the face with a PP9 battery wrapped in a sock could you find anyone more deserving than Blunkett? Jesus fucking Christ, if that bastard'd ever been defence secretary the world'd a gone up in smoke long ago. These blind fuckers, piano tuning's all they're fit for and they're not much fucking good, look you, at that, isn't it. Anyway, those at home, filling demanding posts in the MOD and on the green benches, thay have a saying, too - They also serve who only stand and steal, isn't it ?

This Arab chappie, the one with no head, he died for his country, too, not only died but was about to blow his own arse to Kingdom Come or Mecca or Paradise, whatever, isn't it, only Sergeant Chuck saved him the trouble; if he was English we'd give him a medal, Mohamed, that is, well, most of us would but not that cunt Max Hastings, he wouldn't, officers only/for the use of, that's his view, the loudmouth tweedy prick, look you, isn't he; bit of a fixture on Any Questions with Dimbles minor, that Hastings, not the proper BBC, schoolteachers' radio 'swhat we call it, whiny self-important little dictators, asking the panel for their fucking opinion on everything, like they were fucking Solomon and as for the Money Programme, well I'll be fucked up Mount Snowdon and down again if there's a more mean-minded, penny-pinching crew of bastards than that audience, Dear BBC is there some way I can wring an extra farthing a month out of my investments, I need it because I want to set up a trust fund for my grandchild in the hope that he'll love me because no fucker else does; as it is, though, since he's not English, old Mohammed bin No Head, we call him a cunt. Doesn't seem right, somehow, I mean, there'll be English lads, and Jocks and Taffies, too, had their heads blown off, just like that, but you'll not see them on the BBC, fuck me, no. Bad for morale, not the squaddies' morale, the politicians' morale. Best that the enemy remains bestial, a monster; even though there he lies, poor bastard, just like any other poor bastard, only with his head shot off.

That Tony Blair, and his bint, Imelda, Weapons of Mass fucking Destruction all on their own, really, isn't it, no need to search for WMD, sending out sappers and spooks digging up half the fucking desert; just look in the bleeding mirror, isn't it? Millions of people and not just wogs, dead, homeless, maimed and they give him a Hebe Peace Lottery-winning ticket, the Isaacs, that is; and him virtually a Cardinal in that Mick business. Chapel, me; none of that smoke and mirrors shit, bend-over-for-Jesus-little-boy stuff, just plain, good old-fashioned worship. And singing. That's what's needed, I think. A place for everyone and everyone in his place, only preferably not with his head blown off. And it's back now to George in the studio who has the weather for us, shit, I expect, although not as bad as here in Baghdad, fucking shithole, when I started out on Radio Daffyd never thought I'd be stood here like a cunt, in a flak jacket, talking bollocks.


The original juxtaposition of those two pictures had Sergeant Chuck calmly explaining how shooting Mohamed's head off was just in the line of duty and so, probably, it was. But they were accompanied by typical redneck, phallic, triumphalist bravado; since lynching niggers was proving difficult these days and likely to become more so, then shooting suicide-bombing Ayrab sonsafuckingbitches was the next best thing. None of the rednecks, the last great hope for mankind, as they call themselves, has the wit to wonder, just why there are so many suicide bombers. The dumb, shitbrain bastards making such comments probably just fool themselves in a variety of ways - Mohamed probably planned the Twin Towers attack, himself; America really is the home of Liberty and Freedom and not the modern home of genocide, slavery, ethnic cleansing and state-sponsored terrorism; that working class GIs blown to smithereens, gutted, blinded, crippled and immolated are happy for the Bush gang to make a fortune out of all this shit, whilst denying them - a la Bob Ainsworth - proper veteran care and, best of all, that this shit is going to make a better world.


John Donne had it then and he has it now; no man is an island, each man's death diminishes me, send not to ask for whom the bell tolls..... These pictures, which we so rarely see, are appalling, both of them; but the moot point is: does the warrior nobility lie with the sniper, exquisitely armed and resourced, armoured, air-covered,hamburgered and coca-cola'd, keen to complete his tour and return to Little Rock, Ark., or is it with the man in the cheap trainers, his waistcoat tailored by Death, willing, eager to blow himself and his enemies to bits in order to repel an infidel, an unwelcome invader? Or is it that, led on both sides by the cowardly and ignoble, by the wailing imam, by the draft dodger and the career politico, all in arms fight the wrong enemy?