Saturday 12 October 2013


Almost before you could say facelift.....

Hillary Trousers,  former gay icon 


and pestilential  hopeful is back with more downhome recipes for global harmony. It Takes the Bombing Of A Village, that was her last bestseller.  I think  I mean presidential hopeful, or do I, the woman is a pestilence, a lying, cheating crook who clings to her married name - if not to Spunky Bill himself, may God burst his rotten heart wide open - merely to bolster her chances of becoming Uncle Sam's first shriveled old crone president.  It's not that I am against women or anything,  I like women,  I really do, sometimes I think I prefer women to men, other times I think I prefer men to women but I think it's just a phoney comradeship with men, I'd rather go into battle with men but I'm never going to go into battle, not now; I'd rather do a project with a man, although wife and daughters have, by osmosis, become adroit, and obedient, which is important, some men'll do as they're told, others  want to discuss options,  want to do what they think they want to do. I don't, I don't want to do what they want to do. I know what I want to do and that's all there is to it. Women politicians, anyway, in my view, are no worse than men politicians. And no better.

She's been gobbing off at Chatham House, has Hillary,  

  can't hardly see the stitches

about the need for - wait for it - a grown-up debate about her government stealing my correspondence. The nerve of some people, who do they think they are? It's not so long since she was bribing David Bananaband, then - inexplicably - UK foreign seckatry

 to tamper with the British courts in order to protect Uncle Sam's International Torture squads from scrutiny. 

I think this poor sod was  actually one of our victims but Hey, we're all allies.
The poor lads who did this to him are probably PTSDed. A job for Help for Heroes. The nigger, however,  is now quite dead. So fuck him.

It didn't quite work but Dave still got his reward,  being hoiked out of  his, where was it,  Middlesborough constituency and flown to the Big Apple to head-up, as we say, International Rescue. 

 God help the rescuees, with a shithead like Miliband looking out for them;  looks as though he couldn't ride a tricycle without falling off and with his record they probably stand as much chance of being waterboarded as fed and watered; everybody, to the US government, being a terrorist manque.

I saw him on the box the other day, platitudinising woodenly,  as only he can,  numbnutted, evasive and pompous, about the shit in Syria and what his people can do about it -  nothing, they need more donations, obviously not from him or his rich masters but from all the people on zero-hours contracts, going down foodbanks and freezing to fucking death and just looking at him, all smug and I-Know-Best, I thought to myself, maybe this is all shit, this brotherly betrayal bollocks.  

Maybe Dave's post at IR - and what it will lead to, helping  the witch, Hills,  and Spunky Bill try to get back to the WhiteHouse - was always a done deal and he just went through the motions with the Labour party leadership election.  It's obvious he didn't give a fuck about his constituency, pissed off, like Blair, as soon as he could.  And who could blame him, who would want to lead the shamelessees of the   Gordon Snot rump, people like the property-flipping Ballses, Ed and the Ice Pixie Woman

Andy Burnham, 
Look, just because I was in charge when all those people died in North Staffs, doesn't mean I was in charge.

Harriet Soursister, 
Bluestocking Labour aristocracy,
the immoveable deputy great leader;
you can see the class; 

the insufferable, motormouthing  gabshite, Caroline Flint
need to get to bed earlier, dear
  and his dopey, speech impaired bruvver;  who, in their right mind'd want to lead that bunch; no money in that game.  But the Clintons have trousered billions and can put some his way.  Just a thought.

Syria's been a shithole for ages, why is it that Bananaband needs to talk about it all of a sudden, just as his boss needs to raise her reptilian head above the parapet - as to her proposed debate, any fule knows that it is the security of the government from the people that matters, nothing else, absolutely nothing else, the government MUST be kept secure from the citizens,  there's not going to be a debate about that, fuck, no.

The more likely impetus for Hillary's reappearance  is that Barry Obomba is looking, well, like a fucking idiot; 

My fellow motherfuckers,
this is all the Republicans' fault.

the thug,  Putin, has stuck a balalaika up his arse, Basher Assad is laughing at him, Israel's Benjy the Bastard is as mad as Hell and even the bandit, Khazi, in Afghanistan, is firing a round of fucks into him, saying Uncle Sam is good for fuck all, the corruption is down to his contractors - which it will be - and that all GI Joe has achieved is the industrialised slaughter of innocent Afghanis and the  concomitant popularisation of the Talimen,  who were, in any event, not so long ago, Uncle Sam's favouritest allies.

At home, the rednecks are shutting-up shop, it's sundown on the union,  and this, too, is Fuckhead's fault. The miniscule reform of healthcare in the States has been Democrat policy for years; Hillary, as First Lady,  managed to blow it out of the water, so deft are her political instincts and experience - hick lawyer, housewife  and philanderer's doormat - and when this administration resurrected it, Obama was vain enough, stupid enough to allow his name, his legacy imprimatur to attach to it;  it wasn't ObamaCare, it was DemocratCare,  the work of a movement, not of a nitwit community organiser, out of his depth, probably out of his mind with delusions of grandeur. 

 And now the TeaParty are thrashing him with the whips  and cudgels  of his own vanity.  This is all his fault.  The  global game was up when he blustered in Sweden that his infamous, maladroit redlines were not actually his but the world's;  they were no such thing and thinking people everywhere will have seen their creeping disappointment with this wretched phoney amplified, underlined and  confirmed.  He really is good for fuck all.  His once impresive speechifying and sloganising now ring strangely silent, like a  tongueless bell,  people are wise to his conceits,  wise to his inabilty to extemporise sans autocue, wise to his jive-talking and his soul-singing; wise to the fact that their commander in chief is a dummy.  

And all that's before you look at his slavish servitude to the financial terrorism of Wall Street and its policies of punitive unemployment, poverty wages  and stagnant growth,

 its insistence that the rich get vastly richer and the poor become vastly poorer - e pluribus unum noire; one out of many, it's about right, one per cent doing fabulously well,  while  the Fed, the Treasury, the Congress, FoxNews and the White House make sure that everyone else does fabulously badly.  The constitution, trashed by Dubya, remains trashed; America is a terror state, people spied upon, imprisoned without recourse to habeas corpus, beaten, gassed, tasered and microwaved by state and federal goons.  And all the while America, terrorised and brutalised by its rulers,   trumpets its exceptionalism,  the greatest nation on Earth, illiterate, imprisoned, impoverished, hungry and unemployed; polluted and despoiled by EarthCriminals who own the BigHair Congressional and Senatorial whores, shooting and raping itself in unimaginable numbers.   The modern home of slavery, ethnic cleansing and state brutality, America fully merits Ahmed's withering description - The Great Satan.

Obama is dead in the water and the vile Clinton can smell blood, that's why she's out, testing the depths of her support although unfortunately for her the lesbian groundswell which picked up her sorry ass is spent on the shores of the Obamaism which Hills  first decried but then, a slave to ambition and status, embraced. She, too, by grubby association, by shabby nepotism and by personal venality is also  dead in the water; slighted, vengeful womanhood will not again support her and she will be on the wrong side of the double-entry reckoning which America must swiftly make. 

Perhaps her only option will be to make her quietus with Spunky Bill, two rats in a gilded cage, she with her lovers, he with his, until Death do them part. And the sooner the fucking better.


yardarm said...

Her sense of entitlement is probably what pissed people off last time around, why they chose Detroit`s fifth best youth club leader. And he plainly is fed up with the job, an empty suit who can`t even be bothered to read off the autocue; if the Republicans hadn`t put up a too obvious Wall Street parasite like Romney he`d have been in the shit.

Not the least of the fat cretin Ole Spunkstain`s crimes was introducing triangulation, the Third Way, nicking right wing policies like workfare. And it was he who signed off on repealing Glass Steaghal, allowing the money riot to accelerate to the point where we`re all living in this austerity shit; well he`s not, nor Greenspan or any of the Wall Street filth. Or the New Labour cunts like Jug Ears who copied him.

And as Governor of Arkansas didn`t he send some mentally ill bloke to Old Sparky just so the Republicans couldn`t pull his trousers down on being soft on crime like they did Dukakis ? You`re right Mr Ishmael, Satan can`t come for these bastards a moment too soon.

tober said...

Bill Clinton looks like he's falling to bits.
A smoke on a pipe would finish him off.
Had to laugh at Malala telling Obama to stop the drone strikes in Pakistan.....killing hundreds more malalas than the taliban ever could.

call me ishmael said...

Yes mr yardarm, he fried a mentally ill Arkansan coon on the day of his first imauguration as President, to kinda celebrate and to show that the Clintons were tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.

He does look ill; I hope he suffers. My understanding is that coronary bypasses and stents are good for maybe ten years, he's had his for about seven

I said a few months back, mr tober, that Malalalala was going to become a monstrous irritant, a new Benazir Bhutto, and hoped that some of her Edgbaston school chums'd punch her in her gobby mouth, but if he embarrassed PROTUS that excuses her just a little bit.

Alphons said...

They are in as big a mess as we are...but only in terms of acreage.

call me ishmael said...

I think they're a good deal worse, mr alphons. I posted a picture a while back of a trillion dollars and it was mind-boggling. Uncle Sam owes trillions upon trillions upon trillions. He owes more money than there is or could ever be; he owes more money than could ever be earned from all the resources and assets in the world, ever; he papertrades more assets and commodities than there could ever be. Fucked doesn't do justice to Uncle Sam's position. A massive, debt-wiping-out war is his only salvation.

Alphons said...

So Mr Ishmael, do you reckon they would be better by served by wiping themselves out?

Anonymous said...

I truly loathe all of the people in your post Mr Ishmael. I fucking hate them and hope they die, and for making me so hateful I hate them more.


mrs narcolept said...

But if all that money owed is imaginary, won't there have to be, at some point, a globular acceptance of the fact, with everyone having to write it off? And then go back to the gold standard, or camels, or whatever there was before imaginary money was invented?

Wanting to elect someone who looks good on telly will be the death of civilisation, or whatever it is that we have got at the moment.

call me ishmael said...

Sometimes I hate them all so much that it hurts, mr vincent; know how you feel.

Dunno the answer, mrs n but if planetary matters continue to be conducted on this MickyMouse basis, the "grandchildren" with whom we are beaten by Osborne and Co will surely starve and freeze.

Somehow, it has become written in stone that profit and loss is the only way; y'know, what they used to say about slavery, serfdcom and the Flat Earth. It isn't and it cannot be. People need to rise up because the other side is arming itself with frightful so-called anti civil disobedience weaponry.

catty doomuff said...

capillary clinton attempted to audition for a star rôle in the hunger, but her insistence on road-testing real-life vampire-scenes using the stanislawski method was considered by other cast-members to be a serious bloody infringement of health and safety regulations.

the pink pronouncer said...

'doomuff' is correctly pronounced 'doo-murf' or even 'doo-meurf', by-the-way