Friday 12 August 2011



Let me be clear, You will see more cabinet ministers getting arrested, 
I mean looters........

Look, Mr Prime MInister, Sir, I'm down here.

Mr Chris Who, minister for windmills.
Public school, Oxbridge, MEP, intolerable arsehole.
Faces prosecution for perverting the course of justice.
Unless it's not in the interests of justice/unlikely to secure a conviction/the DPP has been instructed to soft pedal. As usual.
But if he goes it will trigger a reshuffle and a rebalancing of the Cabinet to reflect the move to martial law/emergency powers.

 And I'm a liberal democrat, Mr Prime Minister,  could I possibly do anything wrong, like lie to people about being a hopeless drunk, shoot dogs, dump his wife for a dyke or pay people to shit in my face and eat it. Am I the sort of person who would say one thing, solemnly promise one thing  about student tuition fees and then do the opposite?  Well, exactly. It's not as though my party is full of liars like Mr David Laws and Mr Straight Simon Hughes and Highlands Charlie the ginger dipsomaniac and Mr Mark Oaten, the unfortunate balding copraphiliac and Mr Nick Gimp, your personal, nodding gimp, is it?

Baroness Gob, the disappearing Party Chairman/Person.
Recently seen briefly on TeeVee, looking as though she had been dragged by the hair backwards through the Hindu Kush. Otherwise entirely absent through MurdochGate and now RiotsGate.

Michael Filth, Deputy Party Chairman/Person.
Tory media enforcer. Or bully, if you prefer.
Now listen, let's be clear, I'm a hard man. Unlike that wog bint,
whose job I should have and am, in fact, doing.
I'm like a white version of Norman Tebbitt.
The guy who made all that money from privatising Telecom.
And unknowingly took bribes from al-Fayed.
Or so he says, the rotten old shit.
Now, gimme a proper job.

Woefully out of her depth in RiotsGate and a surpise appointment to the Home Office.
Good, really, for fuck all.

Mrs Michael Spit-Gove, adding-up minister and allround cunt.
A loyal Murdoch employee whilst moonlighting as an MP in Opposition
Sent out to quell the riots and speak saliva-flecked, angry, red-faced peace unto the Heathen whilst the catastrophically over-promoted  Mrs May was busy sorting her shoe cupboard. More U-turns at Education than a whirling fucking Dervish.
Good morning children, my name is Mrs Gove and  I'm frightfully clever, spit-spit.
And I should be home seckatry, in charge of punishing naughty people.
Just like I punish you by closing down your schools and youth clubs and throwing your parents on the dole, but only for a fortnight.
After that they must stand on their own two feet, spit-spit, as we do in parliament.

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Dick the Prick said...

I quite like Dominic Grieve. I think he's Attourney General but a few weeks ago he led a case himself. And sure, maybe being a QC is pompous poppycock but I like that he went to court and defended his side (it would be useful is I could remember the case). It does seem like the Tories have a rather shite cabinet. Couldn't recognise any of 'em after a chat. Boring, anodyne, grey little men. Boris is starting to show like the proper cunt he is. Ho hum...better than Labour - yippee - being slightly less fucked!

yardarm said...

It`s when Flashman turns sideways and you catch that be damned to you Hanoverian profile you realise what we`re dealing with. The Mob looting on the streets, the economic dogma of laissez faire or ' Fuck You, Jack ' ruling supreme and an Establishment morally and financially corrupt and not giving a damn that we know it; the only way is eighteenth century.

Last weeks events were a very useful planning exercise for the Civil Contingency Unit. Soon Mr Pitt, I mean Osborne, will tip them that the French Revo -, sorry, the global economy is about to seize up; Portland and Grenville (there I go again) the Milibands will be invited to join a Government of National Unity and the redcoats, recently returned from Yorktown, I mean Helmond will throw a ring of steel around central London: fife and drum along Threadneedle Street and along Canary Wharf.

" Now, Ed, let`s take a look at the Civil Contingency Act your lot dreamed up: could come in deuced handy....let the ruffians clean out every Patel`s 24 hour convenience store, even they have to eat ha ha....Fox, spare a company of foot for Kensington and Chelsea, just as long as they leave us alone...."

Woman on a Raft said...

David Cameron yesterday said he backed the eviction of council tenants who took part in rioting.

"For too long we have taken a too soft attitude to people that loot and pillage their own community. If you do that you should lose your right to the sort of housing you had at a subsidised rate," he told the BBC.

Maybe I'll embroider that on tray cloth and send it to Sam Cam. I shall put darling wisteria twisting all round it.

call me ishmael said...

The Govament of National Emergency was posited here about a year ago - I wish I could archive this stuff, or tag it, so's I can find shit when I want it - and last week was, I suspect, it's first, informal outing, mr yardarm.

He is an intensely unprepossessing individual, Flashman, in whom I can only ever discern inbred malevolence and cruelty.

It seems, however, encouragingly, as any swift perusal of the newspaper blogs will reveal, that in many eyes the house of commons - so-called parliamentray democracy - is a rotten, busted flush, countless commenters reciting one or other of the dictums so common here - that the real criminals are in charge, this sporadic, acquisitive violence only a watered-down version of mainstream political reality.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mrs woar, for too long this and for too long that, rabid, reactionary drivel. Do you think that he can sidestep the ire of ACOP and of Mr Plod on the streets? A bung normally works, doesn't it, the sacrifice of Mrs May, perhaps?

I can's see them being too happy about the importation of New York's finest, though. And many Brigadier Generals Rupert Golightly-Jockstrap and countless Admiral Hornblowers are for one reason and another fairly pissed, to the point, maybe, of mutiny.

He can't get by doing solely the bankers' bidding. And he is so patently stupid, to boot.

call me ishmael said...

It was the contempt case he brought, mr dtp, against the Mail and the Sun for their customary wicked and vicious attack on the landlord in that Bristol murder, Jo Something, the student, now, like Amy Wino, fish and chip wrappings.

Paul Dacre, ed-in-chief of the Mail, has been at the select committee on media, recently, bloated and wheezing, perspiring, pleading his integrity, the cunt. Little Matthew Dreary of the Times, chirruping away beside him, flirting with the odious arseholes - people like the hideous Brian Mawhinney - asking the questions, none of which was How Dare You Show Your Puffy, Red Face In PUblic, Dacre, After What You Did To That And Many Other Innocent Citizens?

I think it's dangerous to distinguish, or try to distinguish between this rabble; Grieve is signed-up to the same shit as the rest of them. Fuck him.

mongoose said...

It is just the stupidity of the idea, Mrs WOAR, is it not? Anybody with half an ounce of wit and reflection will think "Hang on! Just a second, err. We chuck them out of their council house so that what exactly?" So that they retrain as brain surgeons and get a proper job and buy a mansion in Surrey, and put their kids through private school, and buy a Bentley, and drive up the economy and... Aww, spare me, please! Is that before or after their kids starve or freeze to death under a railway viaduct this winter? It is just so mindlessly stupid. And it will never happen anyway So why even talk about it?

And are we going to punish an entire family for one of them going out and nicking a telly? It is just so stupid on so many levels that I despair of the witless lot of them. And as for Milliband... Jeez.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, you wouldn't think, to look at him, but he's famous round here for being stupid; these double firsts from Oxford, they're shit, they have to be if they give them to people like David Cameron.