WILLIAM SPIT, AFTER-DINNER SPEAKER, COMPANY DIRECTOR AND PART-TIME MP.
I yam, Mr Deputy Spanker, ay trifle annoyed at these ah-ah-ah-ah-allegations, Mr Deputy Spunker about ah-ah-ah-ah, honourable and right hnourable gentlemen, of which I yam both. Indeed, Mr Deputy Splasher, what with my duties entertaining Right Worshipful Freemasons' Dinners up and down the entire breadth of this great Conservative nation, my duties rubber-stamping the salaries of my fellow directors at JCB and other companies and not mentioning the valuable quality time I manage to spend with work-out buddy, Lord Cock, I mean Coe, people are very lucky that I manage to turn up here at all. I commend my expenses to the House.
(Cheers, waving of order papers, show us yer cock, Billy! etc)
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