A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT SPEAKS
Yes, of course, said Mr Nick Haircut, Patsy is wonderful and whilst me and my party of sandal-weaving degenerates, truculent Scotch brothel creepers and Home Counties copraphiliacs are very confident that we shall win the next election we rule nothing in and we rule nothing out. On balance, at the end of the bottom line, at this moment in time we are pencilling nothing in. If it comes to it that the only way I can form a government of all the haircuts is in coalition with Patsy and Eddie then coalesce we shall.
Elbowing his way into the picture, Mr Dave Charlie, of the official non-oppositional opposition said Yes, of course, Patsy and the Tories have a lot in common and I’m not just talking about cocaine, either, although that is central to our shared approach to joined-up government. No, Patsy could have gone to Eton, like me, took the exam and everything, she did, just a shame she’s a split-arse or she could’ve been in my shadow cabinet of all the moonlighters. All very well Mr Haircut claiming the credit over these fuzzy-wuzzy chaps but actually you’ll find that the initiative came from me, so you see I’m not Mr Do-Nothing, I’m Mr Do Fuck-all.
Actually, said the nutter with the stutter, joining the scrum outside parliament, Allowing Ms Absolutely Fabulous to dictate the policy of the government is the right thing for hard-working homeless families, for small gone-out-of-businesses and for all those facing the difficult changes which started in America and are fuck all, as we say in the Labour Party, to do with us; and it’s Absolutely Fabulously the right thing to do for the fuzzy-wuzzies, themselves; I mean, why shouldn’t they come and live in England? I did. And I always do the right thing.
Anybody else who hasn’t received a reply to the millions of letters they have sent me and who wants to sit me down and give me a good talking-to for half an hour is very welcome to, as long as they have a hugely successful TV series behind them. Otherwise you can all fuck off. As usual.
2 comments:
Hello
Hello Mr Dick the Prick.
That's a good set of points on It Tolls For Thee. War on Drugs, War on Terror. War on Recession. Whatever there is the answer is to start a war on it (sic). Didya know that the War on Drugs was initiated by the great social reformer, Nancy Reagan, in conjunction with her astrologers ? Honest, not invent.
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