A-ONE-TWO-THREE, FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW...

Mr Speaker, as Leader of the Liberal Democrat Toileteers I am often asked 'Oo are you then, Cock, or me old China ? I am Mr Nick Haircut, Leader of the greatest little political party in the world and your next prime minister, is my usual response to such friendly enquiry and so I would not want, Mr Speaker, to go down in history as a twisted political monster who could only make a name for himself by publicly humiliating and destroying a doddery, pathetic old cunt, such as yourself.

So I am happy to place on record my thanks to you for the many kindnesses you have shown me, and indeed everyone you have met in your most distinguished decades of service to this House, it's members, the general public and the world at large, all of which - or whom - are touched by your generosity, teased by your gentle wit and instructed by your deep wisdom, that very wisdom which has equipped you to so ably resolve these present difficulties which only yesterday I accused you of fucking monumentally up.

But we Liberal Democrat Toileteers mean nothing if we don't mean what we say, especially when we don't mean anything which we say and I am proud to be in that proud tradition of not believing a word of what I say,in order to cling on to the pathetic little power which I have over the honourable Sodom and Gommorahites sat on thse benches behind me, sharpening their penknives and I really truly and sincerely don't mean what I say no more so than when I am firing a round of fucks into the old gentlemen of this house. So, there it is, Mr Speaker, if I don't believe a word I say then why the fuck should you. It was only business, nothing personal.(sings) If I ruled the world, every day would be the first day of Spring....

Cheers, Hats off to the Speaker, For he's a jolly good Mick bastard. Oh Ye tak the High road an' I'll tak the low road and You'll be in Scotland afore me....etc