Morning viewers, Adam Boulton here, of skymadeupnewsandfilth,
Mr Boulton, skymadeupnewsandfilth's political editor, a-ha-ha-ha; the telly-equivalent of Trevor Beardy Wanker KavanaghBollocks
now, I promise you, I'm not going to cry, I'm not interviewing that horrid bully, Alastair Wotsit, who, by the way, and viewers might not know this, made life Hell for my Mrs, Anji Hunter. when she was working for our dear family friend, Tony Blood, I mean Blair, but never mind that, we're both worth millions now and that's why I'm just the man to interpret the cuts for you. Because they won't effect me. And joining us now from Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club is Justice Minister, Kenny Clarke, formerly a full-time director of British American Tobacco, moonlighting as a Nottinghamshire MP. Mr Clarke, Howzithanging, Dude?
Well, as you know Adam, I'm a pretty cool customer, laidback and outasight but even I'm a bit pissed, hearwotI'msayin', about that spunkface zombie dude bein' the fuckin' chancellor, I mean, that ain't good shit, not when I'm here, the coolest wrecker of the exchequer, the finance minister of sinister, the smokiest, fattest health seckatry in repertory, the nickleandimest, pantomimest, your-round-not-minest, numbercrunchinest, liquidlunchinest badass...
Mr Clarke, thank you for being with us, the cheque is in the post......
.........I mean, what's George Osborne got to do with anything? The main thing, anyway, Adam, is that people keep smoking, it's a freedom of choice thing with me, baby, that's where I'm at, the children are free to steal money for fags which we've got 'em addicted to, and I'm free to sell 'em to the little bastards. That's what being a Tory's all about. Fuckin' poor people, man, it's kinda like jazz, really.