THE SHERIDAN TRIALS, A PLAY WITHIN A PLAY:
THE GOOD SOCIALIST.
MR AND MRS BRONZE IN HAPPIER TIMES.
Is such and such a gobby, lowlife scumbag a Good Socialist, asks Tommy Sheridan of a witness, as, conducting his own defence, he plays his last desperate cards.
Aye, responds some tiny wee harpie, once, briefly, an MSP, a people's tribune, 'n better 'n yous, yer a disgrace is what ye are, puttin' yer wee woman through all this shite.
And would a Good Socialist attack his leader, me, Tommy Bronze, in support of the running dog imperialist lackey, Murdoch?
Nae fucker's doin' that; 'sjust that we wouldnae all tell lies fer ye.
C'mon, bitch, demands the great egalitarian, yous were all oot tae get me, me, Tommy, it was all a conspiracy tae do Tommy in, wisnae it? Why would a Good Socialist do that?
Why would a Good Socialist like me, bleats an angry Tommy at one point, go oot tae a suntanning parlour when I have ma ain suntanning' parlour, here in ma ain hoose? Why are yes all lyin' aboot me?
Jeez, man, you've had a desperate time, seems every bastard ye ever knew these last thirty years is comin' tae this court tae tell fuckin lies aboot ye.
And that does seem to be the case as witness after witness testifies to Sheridan's wretched, bullying duplicity, his monstering ego, his appetites. His former lover is subject to his interrogation - and if I was the Lord Judge I would have stopped him, accused's rights be damned - she's making it all up, the three in a bed stuff, with his brother in law; his former co-leaders of the Scottish Socialist Party, they're all making it up, his former best friend, the best man at his wedding, he's making it up, none of them, bar Tommy Bronze are Good Socialists, as though they were on trial, not he and his forlorn, embattled Mrs. As though there is some parallel adjudication taking place, Sheridan conducts himself like a Moaist Revolutionary Guard, others' backsliding, others' failtering socialism being the matter before the Invisible Court of Tommy's Delusions, his and his wife's perjury - or not - a mere capitalistic trifle, set in the path of the unwary Good Socialist.
Mr and Mrs Sheridan face charges of perjury at an earlier, defamation hearing and in a stagey attempt to repeat his surprise triumph on that occasion, Sheridan, immediately this - criminal - trial started, dismissed his QC, hoping, acting as his own counsel, to intimidate and bully former friends and comrades in a fashion that no lawyer would, grandstanding to the jury, Cocaine Tommy, maybe brainwashed by his own career rhetoric, seeks to reverse things, to put on trial his accusers' commitment to being Good Socialists - if they are not Good Socialists he seems to imply, they cannot be speaking the truth.
Years ago, out of curiosity, I attended some SSP meetings and following the election of half a dozen SSP MSPs, there were moves, coup and feeble counter coup, to instruct the Party in Good Correct Tommyism. To an outsider, like me, it was black farce, as some illiterate, lowlife stooge was despatched from Glasgow to instruct the local membership as to what its thinking should be, in order for them all to be Good Socialists. Tommy Sheridan says that the party line is that all British Troops in Iraq are War Criminals, was one such instruction, delivered by a worthless wee prick who carried himself as though he was Mafia enforcer, never mind Good Socialist.
At the earlier, Murdoch hearing, one of Tommy's public outbursts was that female former colleagues who had contradicted his and Gail's evidence were - if memory serves me, I have it written down here, somewhere - slags, whores and gold-diggers; Ah, the struggle for women's equality, three-in-a-bed, sex-party, Swingers Club Tommy, he was always in the vanguard, A Good Socialist.
The trial continues and given the bizarre outcome of the defamation hearing, only a fool or a Liberal Democrat would predict the verdict; on the face of it, on matters of record, the Sheridans are guilty as sin and he should go to failing-in-my-duty-to-the-public-if-I-didn't pass-an-exemplary-sentence jail, she to community service and the divorce court, but this is Scotland, the best part of England, and hatred for Murdoch and skymadeupnewsandfilth might be the jurors' most prominent emotion.
Tommy used an earlier prison sentence as a springboard to political prominence among Scotland's working class, that he betrayed them so completely does not enter his waking mind and if convicted anew he will, on release, court celebrity again, he will have served his time for and among the people, A Good Socialist. Five gets you ten that his first post-release, paid interview will be for the Murdoch press. No business, as we say here, like Show Business.
STAND BY YOUR MAN; AYE, RIGHT.
WHERE WILL SHE GO, WHAT SHALL SHE DO....?
AN ANTIQUE DECADENCE, THE VELVET UNDERGOUND