GENERAL RUPERT GOLIGHTLY-JOCKSTRAP, FORMER BUMBLER-IN-CHIEF, HM ARMED FORCES, ON TELLY LAST NIGHT
Yes, well, what Middlesbrough needs is a bit of bootstrapping, a jolly good dose of nineteenth century capitalism......
Ordinary Middlesbrough bloke in audience : Rickets! Exploitation! LowWages! Starvation! Lock-outs! Cheap Labour! This is the last thing we want. Silly old cunt.
Well, I didn't mean that, obviously, but private capitalism is clearly the way forward, or is it backwards?
And as far as us having no carrier-borne aircraft for ten years or more, this is absolutely the correct thing for Field Marshal Cameron to do.
Oh Fuck, Afghanistan again.
Still, 'sbetter than Question Time,
damned inpudent beggar answered me back, he did,
me, a fucking general and everything.
You see, the thing is that not having them, the plane thingies, is just exactly the right thing.I mean, we obviously need the aircraft carriers and equally obviously we don't need them to be carrying any aircraft. Withdraw air cover for ten years, brilliant strategy And then bring it back. And when we do have them, it'll be because we do need them, then, although we absolutely don't need them now. Simple. Of course, if this had been dreamt up by that Brown chappie, Lance Corporal Snot, it would have been insanity, treason, betrayal, all that stuff. But since it's a Tory initiative it is bold and brilliant. No planes, Just for ten years or so. When they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down...that sort of thing. (breaks into song) Oh, the Grand Old Duke of Cameron, he had ten thousand spivs.... Oh, yes, and please can I have my peerage, now ?
CallHimDave's be-ribboned plaything, Dannatt, among many servicemen and women, is deemed warrior-genius. What is it, now, a soldier's soldier, looks out for his people, leads from the front of his desk? On the basis of his appearance on QT, last night, he's a fucking idiot. No wonder the Selly Oak hospital complex grows into a City of the Limbless, the Blind and the Burned, it's staff adroit in horror-surgery and lonely cripple-counselling, there-there, son, you're no less of a man for having no arms and no legs. And the bandit-pimp puppet, president Karzi is truly grateful for your sacrifice, laughing all the way to the Swiss bank, he is. But hush, we don't mention that.
General Dannatt, war hero and now TeeVee personality. By the right....trip over your own feet. Jesus fucking wept.