BORIS JOHNSON. JIVE TALKING.

Uh, the, uh whatyoumaycallit, that business, yes, I have it, the, uh, Kosovo-style ethnic cleansing, it's not gonna happen, not on my, uh, uh, uh, my,  uh wotsaname, my watch, yes, you see, I can do it, talking, see, I'm doing it, just one word after an- .... oh what is is it, one word after, yes, one word after the next, yes Hurrah For Boris, and it's not gonna happen on my mayor's, uh, on my mayor's thing, definitely not. What was your question?

Mr Grants Shapps, MP, Minister for Pogroms, always best to have a Jew,

when you're scapegoating enemies within.

Well, Jon, the thing is, Boris doesn't actually know what he's talking  about, it's the drugs you see, mainly the coke, his old synapses all fire off at the wrong time, quite engaging, I know, on a teevee quiz show but not what you want in a mayor for twelve million  people, all of whom we want to be Tory voters.  I think you'll find Boris not reassociating himself with this mistake (yes, reassociating). Or we'll tell people about his drug use. And the women.

"My consistent position has been that the government is absolutely right to reform the housing benefit system which has become completely unsustainable.

"I do not agree with the wild accusations from defenders of the current system that reform will lead to social cleansing. It will not, and if you listened carefully to what I said, no such exodus will take place on my watch. But the point I was making this morning is that London has specific needs due to the exceptional way in which the housing market works in the capital and it is my job as Mayor to make the Government aware of these. And for them not to mention what are, after all, private matters. Between me and the  rest of the Bullingdon Club. I mean the Govament. Same thing."