NEWS REVIEW. HADES GOES ON OVERTIME.

HELL ORDERS NUCLEAR-POWERED FURNACE.

This is the news of a ten-billion souls deal, struck by the Beelezebub Energy Corporation (reg. office Down Below)   with the French Government  to acquire a billion-kiloton nuclear reactor.

We have a new guest arriving any moment, said CEO of HellCorp, Mr Satan, 

 

and we would not wish him to feel cold, cool or even comfortable, not for a moment of Eternity.  Yes, yes, I know it is a long time, you don't need to tell me, sonny, I sometimes feel as though I've been here forever. But that's the business I'm in, eternal torment;  that's what it says on the tin, that's my mission statement;  if I say Eternal Roasting, then that's what I deliver. What, Clergypersons?  Yes, my best  customers;  roasting in the beginning, roasting now and roasting for evermore. Amen, so be it.

 M-sieu Hollande, the diminutive, cock-waving philanderer and socialiste turncoat president of France is due to join us in the not very distant future and in exchange for a place some distance from the heating system has agreed to give us the furnace on favourable terms, ie freely, or for free as you folks so inelegantly say, up there.

 

We shall very soon, in my terms, anyway, very soon be receiving the Reverend Doctor (Univ. of eBay) Ian Paisley's pall bearers and anticipate that they might put a strain on the heating, nothing, though, considering our expertise in the field, that we cannot handle.

GADAFFI NEWS, LATEST. HIS FORMER CLIENT AND BUMBOY, MARTY KNEECAPS, SETS RECORD FOR BASE HYPOCRISY.

THE BLOOD OF TENS OF THOUSANDS?

I SIMPLY SAY TO YOU,

SMALL CHANGE REALLY, CHAPS

Northern Ireland cop killed by patriots/freedom fighters /terrorists/conflict resolution experts.

Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness said: 'Whoever carried out this act offer nothing to the community and have no role to play in our future.
'They have betrayed the community and set themselves against the will of the people of Ireland. No cause is served by this act and let no excuse be acknowledged.'
Mr Kneecaps reportedly visited the deceased  Mr Kerr's family to express his sympathy after the attack tonight and sickbags were said to be at a premium, across Ulster.

Marty also insisted that the copkillers are un-representative, so they are, and that this young officer gave his life for peace.  And Marty should know.  Didn't he act representatively when he was busy murdering hundreds of police officers, who, obviously didn't die for peace now, did they?

From her bed in the Sunny Suicide Watch Nursing Home,

Mrs Iris Robinson, 62, wife of the discredited Ulster first minister, Peter, and infamous, poxy, old slag, said, it is a terrible shame about the police officer,  in his twenties, he was a bit old for me but I still woulda given him one, so I would. No, I can't answer any questions about the money I stole, so I can't, because I'm on suicide watch and furthermore, any questions about me and Peter being a pair of thieving fuckpigs would uspet the peace proh-cess, so it would.

In other news, UK prime minister (unelected), Mr CallHimWinston,

As President Roosevelt said, it is not the top of the middle,
nor is it the front of the end,
but it might be the beginning of the end of the middle.

said that Colonel Gadaffi had  killed many Arab  citizens over many years and must be brought to account, either as a peace envoy to the Quartet, whoever they are, or at the very least be made deputy prime minister of Scotland or Wales. He can even be my deputy prime minister, if he wants, can't be any worse than  Wotsisname, the nutter, Clegg.

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UPDATE

In the welter of hypocrisy around the Colonel, mrs woar reminds us of the adage of the moral compasser - Let he who is without snot cast the first stone.