GADAFFI NEWS, LATEST. HIS FORMER CLIENT AND BUMBOY, MARTY KNEECAPS, SETS RECORD FOR BASE HYPOCRISY.

THE BLOOD OF TENS OF THOUSANDS?

I SIMPLY SAY TO YOU,

SMALL CHANGE REALLY, CHAPS

Northern Ireland cop killed by patriots/freedom fighters /terrorists/conflict resolution experts.

Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness said: 'Whoever carried out this act offer nothing to the community and have no role to play in our future.
'They have betrayed the community and set themselves against the will of the people of Ireland. No cause is served by this act and let no excuse be acknowledged.'
Mr Kneecaps reportedly visited the deceased  Mr Kerr's family to express his sympathy after the attack tonight and sickbags were said to be at a premium, across Ulster.

Marty also insisted that the copkillers are un-representative, so they are, and that this young officer gave his life for peace.  And Marty should know.  Didn't he act representatively when he was busy murdering hundreds of police officers, who, obviously didn't die for peace now, did they?

From her bed in the Sunny Suicide Watch Nursing Home,

Mrs Iris Robinson, 62, wife of the discredited Ulster first minister, Peter, and infamous, poxy, old slag, said, it is a terrible shame about the police officer,  in his twenties, he was a bit old for me but I still woulda given him one, so I would. No, I can't answer any questions about the money I stole, so I can't, because I'm on suicide watch and furthermore, any questions about me and Peter being a pair of thieving fuckpigs would uspet the peace proh-cess, so it would.

In other news, UK prime minister (unelected), Mr CallHimWinston,

As President Roosevelt said, it is not the top of the middle,
nor is it the front of the end,
but it might be the beginning of the end of the middle.

said that Colonel Gadaffi had  killed many Arab  citizens over many years and must be brought to account, either as a peace envoy to the Quartet, whoever they are, or at the very least be made deputy prime minister of Scotland or Wales. He can even be my deputy prime minister, if he wants, can't be any worse than  Wotsisname, the nutter, Clegg.

-----------------------------------------------
UPDATE

In the welter of hypocrisy around the Colonel, mrs woar reminds us of the adage of the moral compasser - Let he who is without snot cast the first stone.

A MESSAGE FROM THE GREAT DICTATOR.

I'M JUST LIKE YOU, REALLY I AM, I DO THE WASHING UP,

YOU'VE ALL SEEN ME DOING IT. WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE BATHS, BY THE WAY, IN YOUR COUNCIL HOUSES?

You know, as I travel round the country, in my shirt-sleeves, telling lies to people, they all seem worried about what is happening in Egypt, what does it mean for them, their jobs, well, that's easy, pretty soon  a lot of them won't have any jobs, so no problem there.  But one of the things I say to people, to reassure them, is that the great difference between myself and  our good friend and stauch ally, Mr Hosni Mubarak,  is that he's not elected and neither am I. And another striking contrast is that his people are worried about the price of fuel and food and everything, really, and so are ours.  The Egyptians have very high levels of youth unemployment, whereas, here, in this country, so do we and the Egyptian security forces are encouraged to actually beat the citizens to death or shoot them, yet here, on the other hand, the Metropolitan police do exactly the same thing.  The Egyptians have elections it is true, that are rigged from start to finish, but we won't be having any of that nonsense until we manage to arrange things between Mr bin Clegg's and my own party in such a transparently fair and more equal way that we cannot lose. All in all, I think people can see quite clearly  that comparing me with Mr Mubarak is quite mistaken;  he is much more advanced a democrat than I.  For the time being.

 MR BIN CAMERON

AT A GATHERING OF THE WARLIKE AL-BULLINGDON TRIBE

THE UNELECTED PRIME MINISTER AND THE PILOT

Can't stop,  just off to scrap the airforce.

You know their motto, per ardua ad astra, upwards to the dole office, 

Air Vice Marshal Cameron hastens to the front line.

Right, well,  the purpose of this morning is for you chaps to clap me and ask me some easy questions, so, who's first, you sir, over there, you look like a well-behaved sort, knows his place, knows who the boss is, your question,  sir.   No need to stand to attention, Call-Me-Dave, please, feel free....

 

       L/Cdr Kris Awkward, A soon-to-be benefits scrounger.

I've flown a hundred and forty missions over Afghanistan, why am I getting the sack, Dave?

Well, the first thing is that I am incredibly grateful  for all that incredible bravery you have shown for our country, often in incredibly challenging circumstances against frankly incredible odds and my thoughts are with you and your incredibly brilliant colleagues, yes and colleague-esses, doing such an incredible job of work for President Obama, I mean our country and we are all, as I say, incredibly grateful and that's why I'm sacking you. It's me, you see, who has to do the really incredibly brave things which are very necessary to my friends and family in the banking industry, Next question?

Baroness Thatcher?  Yes, it would be the decent thing. If she pops off now there'll be a state funeral and acres of newsprint and endless tittle-tattle, the nation gripped in a chav Griefathon and nobody'll even notice the broken glass  we've shoved up their arses. 

Aircraft carriers? No sweat, the chancellor of the exchequer, Mr George Spunkface, knows some nice Russian gentlemen with some actually quite large yachts which we might borrow, if push comes to war. Now, has anyone some proper questions?  Baby Cameron?  yes, she's doing incredibly well, looking forward to a life of pampered luxury and a career shitting in people's faces, just like her Dad. Thanks incredibly, must run, people to sack, ordinary people's lives to ruin.

Cheers, Applause, For He's A Jolly Good Fellow,

(BBC Choir  sings) Oh, The Grand Old Duke Of York, He Sacked Ten Thousand Men, He Marched Them Down To The JobCen-tre, And He Marched Them Back Again.

WAR NEWS

NO PEACE IN OUR TIME.

FIELD MARSHAL CALLHIMDAVE RALLIES THE TROOPS

I have here, in my hand, a piece of paper signed by both Mr Gimp and myself which says I am in charge until  we can't stand each other  any longer, or we are removed by a civil power (the people).

This means that I am in charge of you, just like a proper prime minister, which, of course, I am not. Now you might think that if I can't win an election after thirteen years of communism that I'm pretty crap and certainly shouldn't be in charge of you lot but,  and lets be perfectly clear about this,  it's my turn. I went to Eton and Oxford,  I worked for Michael Howard and I beat the oik, Davies, for the leadership of this great Coalition Party,  so that makes me the one in charge. Until Christmas, anyway.

And I have decided to make everyone at home unemployed, or at least all those who voted for the communists, and free-up all the money so's you can have whatever you want, no, honestly, porn, MarsBars, phones, boots, bullets, Wossat? Come home? Oh, no, not until the people are on the streets. And then you might be called on again, to fight the enemy within;  there's enough of them, after all, nearly sixty million. And that's not counting the wogs, Sorry, lance corporal Sambo, only joking, thought I was a Tory for a moment, don't mean you, course not, salt of the Earth, your kind, black or white, just as long as you jump to it when you're told.

DAVE OVER AMERICA,

In 1940 we were the jumior partner in the fight against the Nazis.

When dealing with criminals, the state should not show compassion;

we should be as bad as them. That's my philosphy.

Unable to win a general election, myself,  I have come to a foreign country 

to   criticise the previous government of my own.  That's how clever I am.

I was elected  and formed the coalition.

(to Diane Sawyer, ABC News) 

Just a slip of the tongue. Being elected as an MP is just the same as being elected PM.