.SIR RICHARD BUMHOLE,
RECENT RECIPIENT OF HALF A BILLION POUNDS
CHARITABLE DONATION,
COURTESY OF DISABLED PEOPLE.
Strikes, man? Theyre bad shit.
Well, Hey, look, man, let's be cool about things. My good friend and fellow public schoolboy, the prime minister, mr. shiny face, has just, like, laid it on you, all about all these, like, nurses, and teachers and other riffraff who're all gonna just down tools next week and how that's really bad shit because in private companies we don't allow people to have, like, any pensions, apart from the senior people, who work so hard. But what really blew me away, man, was when my good friend and fellow public schoolboy, mr squeaky, the chancellor and I were, like hanging out together, he said that this was gonna cost a half a billion pounds. And all I wanna say on the subject is that I'm really pissed-off, you know, when all's said and done, this is money, another half a billion that the govament coulda given to me.
10 comments:
Sitting in some airport lounge a few weeks ago riffling through the free papers and read some WSJ (I think) supplement that had an article about Beardie. (it was some strange supplement dedicated to 'men' - had Beckham, Steve Jobs and a fair few other Bilderberg suspects in it). Seems he's jumped on Al Gore's Gulfstream V of environmental consciousness.
Without any hint of irony he'd just come back from some environmental thingy in (say) Jakarta and was then of to... some environmental thing in (say) Brazil and so on and so forth. His entire week's 'environmental' itinerary comprising of more airmiles than most people travel in a lifetime.
And then, to further prove his environmental credentials, he's opening a fucking moon-shot experience which I'm betting won't be powered by hydro-electric either.
Gotta hand it to the bloke. He's a gobshite on the make straight out of the Tony Blair and Al Gore mould.
Apparently as well as a four hundred mill loss on NR we, the taxpayer are still saddled with 21 billion of its bad debt, Beardie`s left us with that. With that sort of business acumen displayed by those moronic pricks Osbum and King losing half a billion in a strike is a piece of piss
And it would be tempting, wouldn`t it if you were out in space with Branson just to blow the escape hatch and let this indefatigable self publicist and his beard and fucking woolly pully get sucked into the infinite vacuum of space. You`d be sacrificing yourself too but think of the statues a grateful world would build to you, the paeons of praise sung in your honour at ridding a suffering world of this bullshitter.
Beardie`s left us with that
Can't blame him if he chooses not to try and sort out Applegarth/Brown's economic clusterfuck can you?
I don't know what form this 21bn 'of 'bad debt' takes. Is it the present true value of some shit mortgages they handed out back prior to 2008? Shit mortgages from the UK or shit mortgages from snaggle-toothed yee-haws in Moosejaw, Idaho? What, exactly, does this bad debt consist of? Because the only sensible thing to do is to take your beating and sell those shit assets for what you can get rather than throwing good money after bad. That's what the Japanese have spent the past two decades doing.
I'm guessing that's what Cameron/Osborne have done here with Beardie - just get what you can while you can. Or it could be a mechanism to rig another 750million quid of economic activity this quarter and so avoid so-called 'negative growth'.
I don`t blame Branson not cleaning this one of many unflushed toilets Brown left behind but I object to the rest of us doing so.
Northern Rock Asset Management which we still own handles the old banks debt: good and bad. I understand that`s the problem with the whole financial crisis. Too much debt slopping about, trillions, good and bad everywhere and no one appears to able to sort one from t`other and that`s what is spooking the markets.
Brown has left the building and will not be returning. His successors have committed the same epoch defining error he did in not reforming the financial sector.
Osborne and Cameron may tip the crippled from their wheelchairs and lead them jitterbugging towards the cornocupea of employment opportunities in the private sector, they might hurl every five a day diversity coordinator into the Job Centre: another bank goes tits up and we`re back to square one. And we`re not talking banks now; we`re talking nation states or the EU.
Maybe they are rigging growth, Mr jgm2 but I don`t think there`s a single politician, bureaucrat or central banker in the world who has a fucking clue of what to do in the face of this one.
I, for one, never suggested that the balloonong one might take over the debts of the snaggle toothed Idahoans; just that he might've paid full price for what he did get.
"I don`t think there`s a single politician, bureaucrat or central banker in the world who has a fucking clue of what to do in the face of this one." This, mr yardarm, is what we call an axiom, is it not? As a rubric for Ruin It only lacks the other blindingly obvious and incontrovertible truth that neither is there a single financial journalist who has a fucking clue. As my friend, the Yellow Emperor, says, man with head up arse see only darkness.
I don`t think there`s a single politician, bureaucrat or central banker in the world who has a fucking clue of what to do in the face of this one.
No. And I'm not sure I do either. But surely the obvious solution is to not start from here. We (collectively) should never have marched into this self-evident clusterfuck in the first place. What global taking-leave-of-our-senses occurred between politicians, newspapers, 'economists', banks and individuals to get ourselves into such a fucking stupid position?
Have they all been drugged? Some economic rohypnol administered by fucking lizard-aliens? How, when it was so obvious to so many people what was going wrong, did we still manage to end up here?
It is mystifying, but only if we assume that all are sentient; nobody I know fell for the easy loans stuff, but then I - any of is - only know/s a handful of people. I moved to WildernessScotland, best part of England, in 2001, it being apparent to me that something like this would happen - the economic bumblebee would no longer fly and that civil unrest, worse than in, say, Egypt or Syria would ensue. I was out by about six or seven years but I don't believe I was fundamentally wrong. I don't see any resumption of what we consider normal for years to come, by which time other forces wiil be in play - population, food and water shortage, radical shifts in geopolitocal power. And anyway, if the Friends of Israel in MediaMinster and Washington have their way - and George and Tony have trailblazed for them - it might all become academic, attacks on Syria and Iran could lead to the Israelis being attacked and setting off their own nukes and then Pakistan unleashing theirs. That imbeciles like Obama, Cameron and the dwarf pimp, Sarkozy, have einfluence over these malign affairs is not comforting.
Post 9-11, our New York apartment having magnificent, uninterrupted views of the Statue of liberty to the South and the smouldering Twin Towers to the East, we decided that a God-foresaken shithole unlikely to be targeted by God's-Own-Jackasses might better suit our risk averseness.
Which is how we found ourselves in Fucking Scotland. Six years later and I'd decided I'd rather be immolated than live in Fucking Scotland. As you so often allude - the Nasty Tribesmen are hateful, spiteful, nasty fuckers. And they're in power. And there's you (and us at the time) sitting in our chateaux and there's Salmond and his Kilted Nasties making promises which can only be sustained by taxing fuckers like us out of existence. So we left and moved back to beautiful West Sussex - where - on a clear day - you can see the Sun and trees and stuff like that.
But you're quite right about the other potential influences that could seriously fuck up the system. Which is why I'm jolly glad I married a Canajun. Let's see you fuckers try and nuke the whole of Canada.
Mr I and Mr jgm2.
I came to similar conclusions in the early 90s (I knew Jack Straw in his uni days, and that was all I needed to know about what was coming) and reinvented myself as an Australian. It was a logical choice - I set down a set of criteria (simple stuff like good education system, good health, relatively safe, good weather, self-sufficien an natural resources) then ranked all countries accordingly. I ended up with a shortlist of 2 - Australia and NZ. Canada failed, just, because of the cold.
In hindsight I can say it was a wise decision.
@Mike
I had an unfortunate experience with Australia's airlines all being on strike back in ~ 1989 when I was young, free and single and looking to expand my horizons from oil exploration in Gabon. I had to fly to Lusaka. Then to Harare for the (once) weekly flight to Perth because the oh-so-sanctimonious Australians wouldn't fly to Jo'Burg - what with them all being RACISTS and all that. Then, because they (the fucking Aussie airlines) were all on strike for more money, I had to make my way overland to Sydney in order to fly back to Libreville to flounder around in the swamp for another six weeks.
It occurred to me that the so-called ten pound tourists were largely the kind of C U N T S which even in the hyper-employment environment of the 1960's decided they couldn't be bothered to work but would rather an immigrant from Jamaica drive the buses in the UK while they fucked off and back-packed on the commodity-based economy of Australia.
Twenty-five years later I'm of the opinion that the ten-pound-tourists had the right idea. Fuck it. Might as well be the white-faced equivalent of Saudi Arabia as shambling around the UK's imbecile social experiment.
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