THE RETURN OF DR. ARSEHOLE.

I am proud to announce that from, well, very soon, now, workers will have no rights as  there is simply no place for them in the modern world.  We have done our best to put everyone in fear of their jobs, their health and their retirements but some folk still believe that they have rights at work and it is in the interests of growth that they be disabused of this. Apart from corrupt ministers, like Mr Doctor Gay Fox, and Mr David Gay Laws and Mr Straight Simon Gay Hughes, who have the right to go and sit on the backbenches, instead of to prison. Just because a member is a thief, a benefit fraudster an embezzler and a downright rotten, stinking, oily, gay-bashing hypocrite and liar is absolutely no reason  to prevent him sitting on these benches  for the rest of his life;  people seeking  more than the minimum wage, however, well, there is no place for them in modern LibDemShitEaters philosophy.( I must say, I rarely partake of the fecal banquets myself;  just everyday of my miserable life.)

The coalition, of which I am proud to be a member, has been very successful in raising inflation, unemployment and reducing growth to a factor so infinitesimally small that it isn't worth my right honourable friend, the Chancellor, even squeaking about it.  I mean speaking. And by demonstrating this finely-tuned grasp of a modern, brutal economy we have proven that as the full benefits become apparent to people we will be fully able to impose a state of martial law, with a shoot-to-kill policy should rogue elements - say, millions of people - take to the streets in boisterous celebration of their govament's triumphs.  well, not their govament, really, more like ours.

But,   as has already been remarked upon by anyone who can breath, what we have been able to do is seize half a billion pounds  worth of undeserved benefits from disabled people - many of whom have, unlike myself,  worked long and hard before becoming useless to the economy - and transfer it to Sir Richard Bumhole of Virgin Rubbish, who will very probably spend it on a nice Caribbean island, where those of us lucky enough to have been of service to him can be entertained in the style to which the taxpayer has accustomed us.  By being very careful, we have been able to retain in public ownership those parts of Northern Rock which are basically, well just full of shit, in order that the taxpayer may continue  to pay billions of pounds for the greedy and criminal excesses of my employers,  Messrs Goldman Sachs. Did I mention that I am an economist by training?

This doesn't mean that ruthless employers will be able to take people on for two years and then sack them before they can have any rights whatsoever. Although it does.