Monday, 11 July 2011



We must kill all the non-Jews,
smite them down, like it says in the Book.

Mad Melanie  Rosenberg ben Gurion Leviticus Anyone Who Disagrees With Me Is A Nazi, Lets Kill All The Arabs Oi Vay! Philips is shitting broken bottles about all this Murdoch stuff. Not about the pugilistic Ms Woods or the old fuckpig himself and his corrosive gutter press but about Max Spank Me Mosley, about the  pathologically unfunny Steve " Steve" Coogan and  about the winsome, foppish nincompoop, Sir Hugh Grant, this year's Joanna Lumley.

How dare they, she thunders, presume to lecture decent Jewish people, like me and my husband,  about morals? This is our job.  Is this what it has come to? Mosley has paid dirty shiska whores to beat him with sticks, how dare he complain about privacy, the dirty fucking Nazi.  I mean, readers, the 'papers quite properly set him up and photographed him at his filthy tricks, and let me tell you, it was clearly pure Nazism at its worst, because the women, if I may call them that, were all wearing stockings and high heels, yes, and filthy red lipstick and leather caps at a jaunty angle;  I am not exaggerating when I say it was the Holocaust all over again. It was clearly in the public interest that he be exposed to vulnerable motor racing fans and all he can do now is complain about decent journalists doing their job, which, in a free society, is whatever their proprietor tells them to do.

And Grant, he paid a filthy schwarzer to gobble his shish kebab, right there, in his car, without even any curtains, contrary to all of G-d's laws and now he presumes to lecture decent muckraking, rabble-rousing, sewer-dwelling tabloid journalists like my colleague,  Jon of Gaunt

Mr Jon Gaunt, hard at work.

Jon “Gaunty” Gaunt. A man who has made a living taking piss-easy populist positions, spouting grade-A faux-outrage, and fuelling the bigotry that is as fundamental to The Sun as the paper it’s printed on. Gaunty, by “profession” a radio presenter, is also the mid-morning host on the controversialtalkSPORT. radio station ( From, The Sun, Tabloid Lies Exposed, August 14th. 2008)

And finally, readers,  we come to Steve Coogan, also complaining about a free and vigorous press, of which I am so proud to be a member, with mein liebschen husband, Joshua, who works for the BBC as a dreary, unwatchable, uninformative and entirely useless hack but is actually a posh lawyer.  Coogan, you will not need reminding but I will anyway, is known to have taken louche drugs and had louche sex with louche people which, in my paid opinion, is far worse than hanging British servicemen, torturing Arab children, firing depleted uranium and phosphorus into the Gaza Strip and shooting so-called  Peace Convoyers at point-blank range in the head;  against these very restrained measures taken by Israeli terrorists, I mean, security services,  the excesses of Grant and Mosley and Coogan can be seen for what they are - an attack on my God-given right to peddle bilge, hatred, prejudice and racism. If this trio of degenerates have their way and Freedom's spokesmen and women are muzzled, then I and countless other filthmerchants may have to work for a living at a proper job. Whatever one of those is.  Thankfully, it'll never happen.

In tomorrow's FilthMail. How those benefits scroungers are stealing from hard-working bankers. 

editors note: Mr Ishmael takes customary poetic license but Phillips does say in her column that because Grant paid for a blowjob he is not entitled to an opinion on current events, Mosley and Coogan, likewise, because of their peccadilloes, are unfit to comment and that, on Question Time,  the verminous Jon Gaunt was bold and correct to remind Hugh Grant of his misdemeanour and Grant impertinent and unprincipled to dare express an opinion, about anything.  Philips, in her younger days, when the Guardian was a decent paper, was a liberal commentator, a champion of the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act,  the logic of her writing now is that an early  conviction for, say,  shoplifting, should  shame and silence the offender forever,  their is no rehabilitation in Philips's universe. She really is barking fucking mad. She should fuck off to Benjy's Israel, they'd love her there.


yardarm said...

Have a theory here. Like the wind that runs before the dawn Mad Mel`s ravings might be the first fart of terror from non Rupe organs as they realise that they could go the same way and for the same reasons.

mongoose said...

There is not a shadow of a doubt, mr yardarm, that they are all at it. That's the papers, the government, the police, the phone companies - all of them are vermin who give not a single shit about any of us. It is devoutly to be hoped that the whole sorry sack-load of them are brought swiftly to justice. I shall now hold my breath.

PT Barnum said...

An odd thing from today. The Dowler et al families were due to meet CMD but got stuck with Clegg instead. Hunt gives a speech about BSkyB in the House while CMD gives one at Canary Wharf 20 minutes earlier. What's going on? Running scared or early ground work for a full blown cover up?

mongoose said...

That's it, Mr PtB, the rats are scurrying for the cover of the sewer.

Dick the Prick said...

Perhaps, now we know that Mr Dowler liked his rough porn, the natural bed fellow would be Nick Clegg where a full and frank discussion about dirty fucking filthy acts of wanten disgust could be achieved.

Sure it's bad but for fuck sake 15 minutes at the top of the news every day for a fucking week with no end in sight? Navel gazing, arse picking, boring shite. Just the facts not the opinion. Modern news in general has long since abandoned being news.

george said...

Cast Iron brought Coulson into his govt despite Coulson admitting to bribing police officers in 2003 at that televised inquiry with Rebecca Wade. So I'm confused why people are looking for the smoking gun. The police didn't think it was worth prosecuting and Cast Iron didn't think there was anything wrong with bribery.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, didn't he say that We bribed the police within the law, or something like that, so that's okay, then.

Wossallthis about Mr Dowler, mr dtp, I mean, I know Mrs Dowler looks like you wouldn't want to fall out with her but she's had a hard time and maybe that's made her a bit Essex but what do you mean, rough porn?

Full and far reaching cover-up, mr ptb, with the power to compel witnesses to lie.

It'll take some serious news agenda management to pull this ne off, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

Mr Yardarm, we might also hear further farts of terror from an amoral section of tribal elders, who see that the megaphones for their agenda could soon be crushed into twisted wire and metal.

There are Jewish people who have settled (as have those from other cultures) in this country, down the centuries, who have made hugely worthwhile contributions to our and their way of life, by ingenuity, creativity and hard work.

There are also Jewish people who have decided (again, as have those from other cultures) not to integrate into wider society in any meaningful way, shape or form, and, currently, these include some who continually bang on about the holocaust, Israel, Arabs and God-knows-what-else, using the UK as one of the support bases for their agenda; agenda which do not always chime with the UK's interests.

Perhaps this section of Jewry would make the intellectual effort to understand that, all the while they are doing this, they simply display themselves as unwelcome guests - like any other unwelcome guests - in our reasonably liberal western country.

I, too, had read her column, Mr Ishmael, and she is canting, not as an eccentric aunt might do, but as a fanatical and rather dangerous boor. Does she wilfully ignore the possibility that morality comes in various colours and shades, which in turn are viewed by people, some with differing types and degrees of colour-blindness; that, for example, whilst some might disapprove of sexual shenanigans affecting the few, she might at least concede that behaviour which outrages the overwhelming majority must be of a different order.

None of us is perfect, but, in my experience, most people behave reasonably decently most of the time, and we, including Mr Grant (whose nearest encounter with phosphorus would, I imagine, be lighting a match to mask the smell of his own farts) retain the right to comment on universally agreed disgusting behaviour - whenever, wherever, and by whomsoever.

call me ishmael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
call me ishmael said...

Careful, mr anonymous, even the use of the word, Jewry, comes freighted with the self-righteous indignation of the anti-anti-Semite, is an invitation to censure. Militant Israelis, of course, claim total ownership of Sorrow and are happy to ease it by killing innocent Palestinian children, as though they and not every sentient being in Nazi Germany had wrought the Holocaust. Little Ahmed, he is the dirty fucker who gassed my grandma, kill the little bastard. That's bad enough but what's worse is the underpinning by ancient superstition - or scripture - of the Tribes' right - maybe even duty - to instigate Armageddon for the rest of us.

The Abrahamic religions really are dangerous, from Ragheads to Rastamen, via Micks, Yids,Anglicans and Anafuckingbaptists they are nothing but trouble but Benjy's gang in Tel Aviv - Rabbis with Nukes - are particularly dangerous.

Philips wasn't banging the Zionist drum on the occasion in question but her insistence on her own nasty bigoted judegment on Grant et al being correct is emblematic of the standard of her journalism - Anyone Who Disagrees With Me Is A Nazi; how very Hitlerian of her.

Dick the Prick said...

@Mr Ishamel - there's a bit of a rumpus with regards to Levi Bellfield's defence QC who went on about Mr Dowler's porno collection and then tried to draw a line from crafty wanking to puellacide; bit rum, frankly, considering the internet age that has now taken over and the hideous shit that is taken as standard these days.

Anywho, bit of a controversial smoke screen that caused some consternation as the cops had also gone down the inquiry accusing the old man of being guilty. Ho hum - family on trial, psycho in the dock. An everyday story on Walton's Mountain.

call me ishmael said...

Ah, thank you, mr dtp; I didn't follow the trial and didn't know that. I did see Mrs D, post-trial, slavering for blood and castration and torture and also heard various comments about the relatives being on trial instead of Mr Bellend, that explains it.

yardarm said...

Mr Anonymous,from infrequent scannings of her frothings I always had the impression that whatever sky pixie she follows she actually worshipped at the Shrine of the Bulging Wallet, the Tabernacle of the Bursting Bank Account; genuflecting at the Effulgent Bumcrack of Paul Dacre.

Like her stablemate Max " I liberated the Falklands with a walking stick " Hastings; either hectoring us proles that we`ll have to toil harder to beat Johnny Chinaman or regaling us with an amusing account of fly fishing in the Basingstoke Canal.

Or Toilets, Mackenzie, Littlejohn, Toynbee, White or Aaronovitch the Inevitable: here`s my opinion Mr. Editor/Proprietor. If you don`t like it I`ve got thousands more and your farts smell like a freshly cut lawn and I`ll email my bank account number to Personnel.

call me ishmael said...

Toilets Maguire was on skymadeupnewsandfilth's review of the front pages last night, pissed and virtually incoherent, the associate editor of the Mirror, taking Murdoch's late-night shilling. Good for fuck all.

As vain and egregious as Yasmin Alibhai Muslem, is Mel, and yes, in it for the money but there is something sinister, mr yardarm, about her Israel uber alles posturing, something sealous, fundamentalist, which the other filth you mention do not share. Something, as mr anonymous infers, almost fascistic about her intolerance of others' viewpoints.