Wednesday, 27 July 2011


 Mr William Miscarriages Hague, the British Foreign Seckatry, 
who today announced that he was opening  a British Libyan Embassy in London.

We want Colonle Gadaffi to go and that's the bottom line but he can stay if he wants, said Mr Hague about the fuck-up he finds himself in.  And that is why the Prime Minister and I agree that General de Gaulle should come to Britain and form a govament in exile. This is definitrely not taking sides in a civil war, which isn't what's happening in Libya anyway, it's just one half of the country fighting the other half and doing it with our help, which is the best way to stop civilian casualties, if you don't count the three thousand or so caused by NATO bombs, and we don't.

My official wife, Ffffffion, has not had any miscarriages for a while but when she does I shall certainly issue ay press statement via one of my pretty male young assistants at the Foreign Office, who, if I am sleeping with them, it is only to save money and perfectly normal behaviour.


Dick the Prick said...

Isn't Algeria deafening? There's been talk of moneytary union betwixt Libya, Morocco & Algeria and this is just a simple heist. Again apparently - Quadaffi loves his committees a la Chinks, a la Frogs et a la Blighty and their healthcare system is relatively hokely dokely. Funnily enough he seems to offer passport to Somalis right out of the country straight through to Europe - that Muammar eh? What a card?

Seriously though - seems like a good lad for his country which has been in relative health and now approaching wealth too so suddenly having a pop seems a bit Greek yacht type wankfest all in all and am chuffed the lad's a syphilitic junkie. Err...

PT Barnum said...

Is that Hague photo doctored? If not, I have never seen anything less open to interpretation. Not terribly discreet, is he?

call me ishmael said...

I think it probably is doctored, mr ptb, but the originals were blatant enough. I keep posting them in our small corner because he seems to have got away with his despicable miscarriages schtick

I don't understand currencies, mr dtp, but I have read that the Colonel was hoping to promote a gold Libyan unit as the currency of Africa, rather than the dollar, hence his unpopularity.

mongoose said...

You have it there, Mr Ishmael. The most important currency in a multi-nation trading world is always the currency of its most powerful nation. Obviously so. The decline of a currency's importance lags the decline of its nation's power by a while because of the obvious inertia in financial systems. So just as the Romans' denarius is gone - inconceivable when they ruled the known world, and the pound crumbles - seventy years after its value was pawned to the Yanks so that it could be spent on the battlefields of Europe, so too is the dollar fated to yield to Asian wealth and power. Africa is, of course, a waterless, beautiful hell-hole which produces no controllable wealth of its own worth a damn but it is a proxy for China.

China secretly and silently weeps buckets because it is fated too to have but five minutes in the sun before it yields to the superior structures of India. But we are now watching America twitch and spasm on its imperial deathbed, spewing death and ruin to all corners of the globe. At least, I hope that that is what we are seeing. We none of us here will live to see it finished but our kids might. Certainly their kids will.

I think also, but it is as yet a clumsy idea, that the Green hysteria is an attempt by the West to unshackle their decline from the control of carbon-based energy. It is a stupid idea but then we are doomed to live in desperately stupid times. Ho hum.

call me ishmael said...

Lots to think about there, mr mongoose. The yielding of the dollar, though, means the shattering of the Amerkan Dream, does it not? I can't see those barbarians standing for that. Not with all those nukes and all that other shit.

billy vague said...

although gaddafi must hand over power, he may not have to leave the country, the local immigrant landlord, mr sarkozy, has managed to find him a nice little retirement-bungalow and a couple of well-qualified swedish care-assistants.

mongoose said...

I take your point, Mr Ishmael, but it becomes about money. Once one has an empire in decline, one has a whole shedload of bastards who are more interested in the wealth of themselves and their offspring than they care about the future of the empire. Alexander is the proof of this. From king of the world to nothing. How many years after his death was it all gone? A generation, I think.

The yanks do not care about anything but themselves. Babies they are in political terms. It is true that we have never before had such an experiment of giving a whole fucking continent to one ideology, and so I cannot claim to see a yard more than anyone else. I see no dedication in the USA to create anything more than they have done thus far. Inward looking they are and doomed but please don't put a price on their souls. The old West is now a consumerist society, we are decadent Rome waiting for our, maybe Mohameddan, Goths to sack us. Power is born of wealth. Where in this benighted skymadeupnewsandfilth world of ours is true wealth now created?

call me ishmael said...

The home of modern slavery, of ethnic cleansing on a massive scale, of apartheid; the only nation to detonate nuclear weapons on a civilian population, the greediest, fattest, most belligerent and stupidest nation on Earth. And yet they walked the Moon.

A place where GlobaPorn sits comfortably with Creationist BibleThumping Klansmen does not, as Obama has it, represent the last great hope of Mankind.

Along the lines of Comedy being the New Rock'n'Roll, I used to sloganise - Poverty! The New Wealth, this was when I was, in 2004, predicting what happened in 2008. It was prescient and answers your question about wealth creation, for in a decade or two, from the Thatcher-Reagan era up to the NewLabourProject's hijacking of the labour movement, we went from being extractors of raw materials and manufacturers of things to being a nation wholly subservient to the creation and the selling-on of debt. You have put this much better than I in previous commentaries. It is, however, worth repeating that we, in our lands, are now post- capitalist, what is being traded, being embellished, having value added, is debt, Poverty IS the New Wealth, but only for a few, those who run the global empire.

colonel al-haggla grabbafi said...


throw in a pair of nice fluffy garfield slippers and it's a deal, willy my boy.

yardarm said...

In the Suit Cult of Britain a bunch of chancers don the Holy Suits, polish chairs with their backsides, gabble incantations down their `phones and rattle the runic keyboards. By some alchemy unfathomable to rational minds a commodity called money is accrued. Until a critical mass of Suiters realise this money doesn`t exist and the sacrificial victim, known as Joe Cunt is skinned alive to pay for all this.

And the politicians and the media, idlers and parasites all did point to the Suited Man and say his is the way of the light, cease to bash your widgets because we`ll undercut you by importing cheaper ones as the sparrow doth fly unto the hedge fund and the equity becometh private.

China is an ancient culture and over the millenia has withstood untold natural and man made calamities. She`ll survive. And us ? Bugger.

call me ishmael said...

I would nuke 'em, ancient or not, mr yardarm, they eat dogs don't they, what sort of people are they? And there is no accommodation to be reached with them by our children - not that I worry overmuch about them, let them eat water chestnuts, that's what I say, they must fend, or not, for themselves, the children, they are already over-parented, parenthood having become - a la Toby Young - another, more showy arm of Consumerism, indulged in by the prematurely bald, snufflers-bearded poltroons who would define themselves as being on the cutting or leading edge of whatever it is.

The whole business of Money has always been unfathomable to me, except to say that here, in the best part of England, we enjoy several different types of money, issued by various banks and it is all absolutely beautiful to behold and touch, like treasure from another dimension.