Friday, 22 July 2011


Mr Mark Beardy-Git,  contemptuous Director General and chief benficiary of the BBC.
 The Director General of the BBC, Mr Mark Beardy-Git, has announced that the Corporation is to recall David Dimble-Git, the nation's hereditary broadcaster, in the light of the hacking scandal which means that Mr Rupert Shit won't , after all, be able to take-over the BBC, in line with Downing Street's Chipping Norton media strategy. At least not at the moment.
The BBC's Mr Narcosis, hereditary pundit and gabshite.

And his pater, Richard Dimbelby-Git.
And the Queen is simply wonderful. And the Parliament, is absolutely wonderful. And the Courts, simply superb.  And the Police, finest in the Empire. And the Church, a model of historical rectitude and an example to us all. And all you people out there, in your nasty little lives, are so lucky to be living in this wonderful country,  being patronised by a filthy old windbag, like my good self. And look at my fine sons, below.

Forward boys, swiftly now, that's the ticket, first Oxbridge and the Bullingdon Club
and then  a lifetime waffling bullshit at the BBC.

The skymadeupnewsandfilth scandal is a great day for  all we BBC Oxbridge parasites,  I mean democracy, the same thing, really, said Beardy-Git, himself on a salary in excess of a million license payer pounds per year and good for fuck all,  and in his customary, skilled, forensic don't-rock-the boat fashion, Sir David - with a panel of popular experts like historian Professor Sir David Gay-Git,

journalist and broadcaster  Kelvin McGit, below, with a fellow phonehacking bastard;

popular columnist and Nazi witch, Melanie ben Git, below, 

Melanie ben Git, Deputy Israeli Ambassadot.
and a couple of  verminous, shit eating politicians - will fully examine the issues and help put the nation back to sleep, assured that in the finest traditions of the BBC, Nation Shall Speak Shite Unto Nation.

From his Oxfordshire mansion, Sir David said he was very glad to be stepping into the breach at this time of weekly national crisis. And they were paying him double. Although we won't be having any questions from the audience along the lines of How come Cameron is such a cunt, and why do you all let him get away with it? Certainly not. And we definitely won't tolerate comments  along the lines of  No, Flashman, there was no need for you to bring the BrooksWitch into Downing Street because you were popping in and out of each other's houses every five minutes, not having what you call inappropiate discussions about BskyB, you worthless piece of shit.

No, actually the viewers,  i think, recognise that my late father, Richard Dimble-Git brown-nosed every single member and aspect of the Establishment which shits so fragrantly in their faces, and I'm not about to do anything to upset my position as Stooge-in-chief, who knows, there might yet be a peerage in it? Almost certainly, in fact, wouldn't you agree, panel? Let's see what they think.

Oh, definitely, David, long overdue, well-deserved, the least they can do; darling, you'll look fabulous in ermine.

Thank you all, too kind, too kind, but absolutely right.

We may let Professor Sir Doctor David Git insist as he always does that as a gay man he is the best historian in the world and that all the Kings and Queens in history were gay. And Jesus, too. most likely, no, definitely. And of course it is quite in order for the BBC, run, many suggest, by fags and dykes and  Jews or probably some combination  of all three, to give Melanie ben Nazi a Zionist platform because we don't want to forget the Holocaust now, do we? And Kelvin McCunt-Git, well, he's a bit of a rough diamond but he does speak for large numbers of British Sun readers, bigots,  retards. numpties and braindead fuckpigs so we think he deserves a platform for his racism, sexism, warmongering, greedy fucking bastardism, anti-democratic, tub-thumping ganshitery. After all people fought and died in the war so that  renaissance man, Kelvin,  could put teenage tits on page Mr Murdoch told him.

One person we won't, of course, be seeing on the panel is that little Asian bint, Swami Chakrabalti-Git,

Career Freedom Fighter , Ms Swami ChakraBalti-Git.

as she is part of the full and far-reaching judge-led cover-up  panel, along with a bunch of other tossers who would no more speak ill of their paymasters than, well,  than I would. Swami is a regular at those events when drug and drink crazed hacks give each other awards, and has collected a few such herself, so she is obviouslt qualified to scrutinise the press, on our behalf, along with Mr Lord Justice Slag. As Director of Liberty, Swami is following in the footsteps of that other greedy old crow, Patsy Leatherface,  who started her career in larceny as Director of the National Council for Civil Liberties, now Liberty, because the other title had too many words in it for Ruined Britons to cope with.

All I wanted was five grand a day for doing fuck all
except selling contacts developed at the public expense,
what's wrong with that?

Patsy, also formerly Neil Windbag's press seckatry was exposed - as if she needed exposing -  by the recent C4 sting as a worthless old slag willing to peddle her post-retirement influence to the highest bidder, currently, as former Health Seckatry, working for Boots, the chemists, among others.  The Civil Rights agenda in Britain, as with ChildPoverty is cleary, as viewers will know, managed by those ambitious for a political career and we at the BBC are keen to support those who seek a seat on the Great Latrine of State, Swami, of course, like so many other civil rights luminarties, worked in the Home Office, where her outrage at the scandals of children abused and killed in custody, of mental patients in secure units being tortured and of innumerable deaths in police custody or, indeed, at police hands whilst simply walking down the street, led her to say absolutely nothing, sweet fuck all.  Just the sort of outspoken, no-nonsense hypocrite we want on the Slag Enquiry and, indeed, on Question Time.  We can honestly, and I am sure we will, assure viewers that the various enquiries are just the thing we need, in order for things to continue exactly as they are. And if we don't it won't be for lack of trying on my part.

1 comment:

Oldrightie said...

Priceless prose, Buddy!