Tuesday, 25 May 2010




Strong and stable aristocracy, that's the thing. She really is outstanding, proclaimed an all-star cast of former cabinet ministers. Selling her contacts to the highest bidder, she makes us all look like amateurs. We really look forward to her leading us to victory  and if not victory, lots of money.

NewLabour 'as allus been a party of the monarchists, says John Pieman, former deputy leader and sexual predator, an' I'll be only too 'appy to sink my severance pay in 'er recession, if you knowhaddamean. She's knockin' on a bit and I prefer 'em younger, about half me own age, or less, preferably,  but I wouldn't mind a quick tour of her royal passageways. Pauline, the Mrs? don't matter what she thinks, she ain't goin'  nowhere, who'd 'ave 'er, after I been  shaggin' her all these years, when I couldn't find nothin' else, like.

Aye, and if she fancied 'avin' a little lad, like, said Lord Blunkett, to go with the Princesses, then I'd be 'appy to oblige, if someone 'elps me put it in, like, only I can't see, but I've 'ad no complaints,  people don't like to complain about blind people, 'sworked for me, anyroad.

Well, I simply don't accept that she's done anything wrong, said Lord Geoff Hoon, I mean, important people, like the Duchess and myself, are governed by ay wholly different set of morals, Kirsty; we don't have any.


Verge said...

Did someone Lewinsky her toga before she stepped up to accept whatever that bauble she's clutching might be?

Let's have a CGI Sid James to play her pimp in the miniseries: "s'what getting paid up front's all abaht, Duchess, snark, snark..."

Anonymous said...

The only reason this ginger slag was brought in along with saint Diana her of the Queen of tarts Mercedes Benz memorial scrapyard was to introduce new blood. As the royals have been inbreeding for years for evidence of this take a butchers as the duke of kent his chin recedes that much it is on the back of his neck. In the first world war the king, the kaiser and tsar Nicholas of Russia were all counsins and been going downhill ever since. If you look at those old black and white films of previous royal deaths you couldn't move for morons with flags when Brenda opos her clogs crowds will be standing one deep on the pavement and when its Charlies turn they will have to pay people to turn up. Princess Margeret is an example and as she had that much booze in her if they had cremated here it would have taken three days to put the fire out.

call me ishmael said...

You are a hard man,mr anonymous; don't you know that it is the pomp of yesterday's million pounds plus jamboree which keeps us all going, ever onwards and upwards; and think of the tourism, other places without Kings and Queens, for example France and America, don't have hardly any tourists at all but the main thing is that the Queen keeps a check on things for us, I mean, if she wasn't there, the bankers would have got away with all that money and we'd be blaming them for ths shit we're in; as it is, we can properly blame the poor people on six and seven quid an hour and throw them out of work without benefits. If it wasn't for Good Queen Brenda, we wouldn't be able to do this poor-thrashing stuff and all the mad old men at the Filth-O-Graph blogs'd be really mad, as well as being hideous, stupid fuckpigs. It is the poor who are the enemy, always were. I look up to the Queen and down on the poor.

She is a bit of a sight, isn't she, mr verge, they have websites dedicated to the display of Lewinskyism, maybe the poor lamb had been thus earning a crust, or maybe the servants have all left, unpaid. As usual, one is left disgusted by both skymadeupnewsandfilth and their stingee.

jgm2 said...

This is where you and I diverge a bit Ishmael. There is no point blaming the bankers for being... bankers.

We just sat through 13 years of nanny-knows-best idiocy. You can't smoke here, you can't fly there, you should eat this much fruit and that much veg. Newspapers, the statute books, the TVs informing us 24-7 at tax-payer expense for our own good doncha know what a shower of fat, indolent, chainsmoking, ecology-wrecking narcissistic cunts we all are but never a single fucking word about prudence aside from the biannual monologue from the Maximum Imbecile who used to inform us how fucking prudent he was being and, as a mark of his prudence this year he'd be overspending by 40bn quid. Just like last year.

And then when it all went tits up he blames... the banks. Cunt. Yeah. Fucking banks. They sould just get back out there and lend more money they don't have.. Just like last year. Fucking banks. They should be just like me. Spend more fucking money I don't have. Just like last year.

Living within your means? Not wrecking the future of the country by borrowing as much as you earn every fucking year for a new German car, Japanese TV or Mauritian all-inclusive holiday secured on your miraculously perpetually appreciating asset. Because your house 'went up'.

Nope. Not a fucking word.

Miracle economy. Miracle fucking chancellor. The only people who could stop the general population and the banks from acting like a bunch of submariners on shore leave, the self-proclaimed prudent government was off on a squandering bender of its own. Recruiting one million unnecessary box-tickers, bed-blockers and bastards in marginal constituencies to rig the elections in perpetuity.

The six and seven quid an hour workers, the poorly paid, are largely new immigrants from eastern europe. Not a single indigenous overall removed from unemployment since 1997. All succumbed to an epidemic of 'invalidity' or 'sure-start' or 'media studies' or some other mechanism to hide the true levels of unemployment.

The high paying government jobs all created out of fresh air and awarded to liberal arts jackasses to facilitate endless focus groups and meetings and initiatives and generally fuck up the productivity, such as it is, of the public service.

Even now the whole economic environment geared to maintaining the illusion that yes, actually, your shit semi- in Orpington is actually worth half a million quid and a 90 minute commute each way for both of you.


That makes fucking sense.

There are a lot of people complicit in this economic clusterfuck. The banks. The shareholders for not questioning the banks forcibly enough about where this massive profit was coming from. The millions - possible the majority of UK - citizens who equate cheap cars, food, furniture, electrical goods, holidays as a good thing but will shit broken glass if you try and tell 'em cheap housing is a good thing.

But the only people who could organise a war in Iraq was the Labour government and the only people who could have stopped all the borrowing and squandering insanity was the Labour government.

Instead of which, just as with Iraq, they predetermined what they were going to do and then rigged all the evidence to make it so.

I content myself with the knowledge that while a single Labour MP remains alive from the Brownian Imbecility then, just like that Jewish institute that goes after death camp guards 70 years after the fact, we can still go after the evil fuckers who sat on their hands and let it happen.

While Brown still lives then we can still hang the cunt.

The thought gives me much strength.

jgm2 said...

I am however coming around to your thoughts about Brenda.

When the Maximum Imbecile was spending three additional years scorching the earth in a vain attempt to cover up his incompetence it was definitely time for Brenda to precipitate a constitutional crisis.

But, just like the self-serving cunt Brown, she chose to just sit there and let us go another 300bn quid down the pan. 300bn quid that bought Brown/Labour another two or three years to divorce 'the economic crisis that started in America and has fuck all to do with me, Gordon Brown' from the difficult decision of actually making the books balance. Three years that will allow the Bob Crows of this world to proclaim that the cuts in pay/pensions/jobs about to be visited on the public service are fuck all to do with Brown's squandering and incompetence but just the Tories firing people because they like firing people. Because that would be a good laugh.

He squandered 300bn quid and two years just to divide and conquer the UK population. The vile, manipulative, economy-wrecking, society-destroying, self-serving cunt.

The cunt.

call me ishmael said...

Unlike the MSM and the Tory party I have been fiercely critical of Brown since 1997, what they saw as Prudence I saw as fevered bombast, an instrument of national suicide.

At any time in the last thirteen years the Tories, the Libs and Labour rebels could have brought down the government, the Tories could have boycotted any of the Queen's Speeches, causing uproar and triggering a constitutional crisis, could have opposed the invasion and occupation of Iraq, could have acted as an opposition, instead, for the majority of time and on the majority of serious issues thay have supported Iron Chancellor Brown; no use, therefore, to single-out one man, one party for the failure of the whole thieving, incompetent caste and its lickspittles in the press. No use Cameron shouting Cunt, now, he should have done it ten years ago.

Brown's bullying depredations could not have occurred if not for the acquiesence of Westminster, Fleet Street, Buckingham Palace and the City, to single out for punishment, or criticsm, the seven pounds an hour workers, many of whom, I know, are native, seems, forgive me, mr jgm2, not only unfair but entirely inappropriate; had they a pension akin to that of Sir Fred Goodwin, or a property portfolio similar to Geoff Hoon's I might agree with you; that so many have bought-into the myth of house prices is a national misfortune but it did not happen without the encouragement, the insistence of our betters and a constant urging to do so from all platforms of mass media. Finally, the implication that the casino bankers are anything less than criminal is not one to which I can subscribe; none of the foregoing, of course, redeems Field Marshal Snot, he is all the things you say and worse. There was, though, for most of his tenure at least one power above him, in the form of Blair and maybe three if you count Mandelstein and Campbell, four with Brenda. Now, I have suggested for years that some form of mutually assured destructive blackmail binds the quartet together, why else can it be that the prime minister was not allowed to know the contents of the Budget, was briefed against so fervently and eventually ousted, why was Brown not sacked; why was Mandelstein invited back, not only into government but as joint prime minister?

Sport as it is to mock and lampoon the cowardly son of the fucking manse, there are questions, beyond the last three inglorious years which need answers, Cameron's ToryLibs have much to gain by ensuring we don't get them.

mongoose said...

Gentlemen, Brenda is a nobody in a silly frock and has a mad gold thing on her mad head. She has as much say as my dead cat.

Let us examine the basics. It is a good thing that about every term in three we let Labour redistribute wealth. It levels the playing field and keeps folk honest. I, like the Kinnock cunt, am the first mongoose in a thousand generations to go to university. I doubt that the Tories' gateway would have done that for me without a Labour crowbar about to swing at the back of their cowardly heads.

It is entirely understood, I think, that every Labour government there has ever been has crashed and burned in a financial crisis. Agreed, this is not ordinarily a two-or-three-generation-God-help-us-all-FUBAR-shitfest but we are now where we are. I agree, Mr jgm2, that the Tories would never have fucked the already groggy economy like this. I think because they do not really care about people. They care about country and wealth and think that the security of both will deliver the people to a greater general prosperity - but them first. At least, I hope that that is what they think. Maybe they are even right but it sticks in the craw that the odd baby or a million has to live and die in the best part of England as if it were still 1810 and not 2010.

All of this has been rehearsed on these pages countless times. The truth is this. We are skint. Who will suffer? Me? No. The Cuts to public spending don't mean me. Indeed, I could earn a few quid - if I chose - doing that evil shit. Cutting public spending will be sacking "the useful idiots" of the last two decades. Those who believed the bullshit and have a crap piece of paper from somewhere we don't care about in something we don't need. And they bought the fucking thing! Jeez, one very minute, said the Education Minister.

Prepare thee all for half a million or more public sector jobs lost by this time next year at the latest.

And at a tangent, if the expansion of tertiary education to its current size was a good thing, why is it not free? The better educated are our bairns, the more wealth will they create and the more taxes they will pay. It is a no-brainer. Make university education free and we will all be better off. And don't take that engineering over English crap - I am an engineer married to an English graduate - education is good in itself, isn't it? So where is the lie? Why have we all become so fucking stupid? Where is Mr PTB to tell us? (Sorry, Mr Ishmael, to mix the points.)

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

Ah yes, pure truth, from the centre of the universe, down my cooper cables from jgm2.


Agatha said...

Mr. Mongoose,
I know you addressed only the gentlemen, but I am presuming to reply to your point about University education. Like yourself and Glenys Kinnock, I was the first of my family to attend university, and that at a time when not only was the tuition free, but there was also a grant to pay for the basic necessities - rent and food, although I went into debt to purchase booze and clothes. My university career was inglorious and incompetent and I eventually actually learned something and enjoyed the learning when I studied with the Open University at my own expense. Maybe there's a truth in there about not valuing what comes free, or maybe I was too young and our society wastes education and resources on the young. The expansion of university education with the goal to educate 50% of the young to degree level is, in my opinion, wrong headed. Trade skills have been academicised: we have a two tier degree system,of which employers and academics are fully aware: the older universities continue to offer degree studies in those subjects which have for some years been regarded as academic, whereas the promoted polytechnics offer degrees for the future passengers of the Golgafrinchan "B" Arc: telephone sanitisers, video makers, film appreciators, management consultants, hairdressers etc. Our society is actually in need of people with proper trade skills - or it is where I live - impossible to get a competent builder, plumber, window cleaner, gardener,etc unless you have a friend who gave up an academic career to do something useful instead. It is a sad thing to see all those ernest and joyless young people going into huge amounts of debt to fund a degree in something that society doesn't want and won't lead to a job - let alone the glittering prizes that they naively believe will be theirs. No, for that, you still either have to be born into the right family or fuck someone from the right family or study PPE,or all three. As Mr. Ish might say, a pox in all their houses. If people want to undertake education, let them live at home and study with the Open University, but not let it interfere with the day job, or get it mixed up with how you get to earn a minimum of £60 grand a year.

mongoose said...

I addressed the two to whom I was responding, Agatha. I meant no slight. I do seem to have assumed that jgm2 is male; perhaps she isn't.

I agree with all you say. I too got a maintenance grant, although in my case I went into debt to my dad at the end of each year. A couple of hundred quid or such. It was the end of the golden post-war age of education for its own sake. It is lost forever. But as we discussed here a few weeks ago, education is about harnessing enquiry, curiosity, so that one can indeed continue to learn stuff in later years. As you have done. I do not mean in order to earn bits of paper. I mean just to want to know stuff. What, why, how questions. And how to learn to recognise the new things you need to learn, and then to learn them. Formal education is like passing your driving test. "OK, you have the basic skill set that now allows you to really begin to learn. BTW out there on the road on your own you are going to make mistakes to start with so go gently at first will you please?" 'Course I will, Dad.

Elby the Beserk said...

Purpose of education? Simple - to produce free and responsible adult human beings.

That's all.

Labour should be sent to the Gulags for ever for the corruption of the education system here. Something truly horrible should be done to the vile Balls, slowly, and in public. Hot things. Pointy things. Heavy things. All should be applied to him at regular intervals.