Thursday, 6 August 2009



A former senior Israeli commander has admitted his shame that Israel regularly mistreats Palestinian children, it is easy, he said, when children are cuffed and blindfolded to see them as terrorists and beat them.

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But in Tel Aviv, Lt. Colonel Liebowitz, commander of Israel's crack Guido von Fawkes Child Killing Division, denied the charges and said today that Palestinian children arrested by her men had been throwing stones at Israeli tanks, no less. In the face of this we have to drag them out of bed in the middle of the night, abuse their mothers, arrest them, handcuff them, jail them, beat them, kick them, spit on them and hold them indefinitely without charge or trial. If we don't do this the Middle East will become a place of terror. Heil Hitler.

In London, Mr von Fawkes said I will be organising another pizza collection among my followers and sending the tasty offerings out to the bold boys beating the children, it is the least we can do. Have you seen my share portfolio ? Heil Hitler.


Reverend Modo said...

You would find that the tiny bed-wetter in the picture, might get an even rougher deal in Paris from the gendarmes for wearing that challenging headscarf.

Reverend Modo said...

... May I also take the time to point out, even though no apologist for the Jew, the cautionary lesson of 1 Samuel, chapter 17.

Caractacus said...

I remember getting stoned at by young kids in Belfast in the late 70's. Thought it was a lot of fun at the time. Sometimes people were arrested even during the night but I can't recall any violence against children or their arrest. It seems a very self defeating policy to have a go at children. It just breeds more hatred (odd having to say this because it seems rather obvious to me).

PS To Rev. Mondo. Referring to the child in the picture as 'the tiny bed-wetter' is pathetic to say the least. I'd like to have seen how you would have reacted having your sorry little ass hauled away by people old enough to know better whether it be in Paris or Timbuktu.

call me ishmael said...

To the very best of my knowlege your Holiness, the great Illuminati von Fawkes, has bot urged and applauded the blockading of Paris, the strafing of the Champs Elysee, the brutalising, torture and slaughter of its citizens. When he does be assured it will receive appropriate comment; in the meantime none but a fool or a zealot would condone the serial wickednesses of plucky little Israel, for which there are no scriptural validations, not in Samuel or anywhere else.

Amen, Mr Caractacus. suffer the litte children to come unto me and I will make of them suicide bombers.

Reverend Modo said...

My dear Caractacus,

(With a deep breath…) Oh how I do so enjoy a dialogue with one of the foaming mouthed hoi polloi... i.e. great unwashed, minions, multitude, plebeians, proletariat, rabble, rank and file, riffraff, the herd, the many, the masses, the plebs, the peons. I stand head bowed at having incited your disdain… Be that as it may, you might notice that my comments were couched in a not altogether serious vein; really it is more my disappointment in my fellow man’s zealous actions… (you might look to yourself here).

Still I feel sure that your gut instinct to react so uncompromisingly (I’m sure you would enjoy to see my sorry little ass… ya de yah) is typical of how such situations arise… Oh I’m boring myself explaining this to you.

a fool or a zealot said...

is bollicks, innit, goyim?

spark up said...

i guess guido really wanted to give the pizzas to the kids, but they couldn't pay.

caesars wife said...

note hizbollah have re stashed with innacurate rockets 20,000 belived to be in hiding .

You would have thought they would have prefered trade and decent coffee , but no lashing backs until bleeding, dressing kinder up in C4 jackets , all part of hizbollahs plan to have peace in the future .

Von fawkes perhaps made too quick an analysis , pizza doesnt cure enemies ability to be nutter of the world .

and so lord created nutter and he begat tribe of nutter and low other tribes wear envious of tribe of nutters coat of UN colours and so made there own coat for the children made of C4 an ak47 garlands , and first tribe of nutter looked on other tribe of nutter and said , we are tribe of nutter , we will ask crusaders for state of art nutter run like hell deterrent .

second tribe of nutters looked on and said not bothered allah acbah , 47 virgins in heaven for being nutter who defeats first nutter tribe .

lord looked on "order of nutter no longer lives by family values forgot everything I said pizzaco will inheret the earth"

Caractacus said...

Dear Reverend Modo,

I stand by what I said. Your comment (reference bed wetting in the context given) was pathetic and your reaction to what I wrote does little more but confirm it. Unlike you, I have no intellectual pretentions. I have looked at your ‘blog’ (which I’m all in favour of) and it appears ironic that you may suffer from the very thing you dislike most, namely dementia scholistica.

If you have something witty, interesting or insightful to say, all well and good. Otherwise, fuck off.

Anonymous said...

Hmm. In view of the post, the sniffy spat in the comments seems almost appropriate: a kind of microcosm of the microencephalic.

Anonymous said...


I feel you're being a little unkind, after all Mr Smith does attract a better class of nutter than most.

Reverend Modo said...

My dear Caractacus,

As a man of faith it is within my watery essences to have empathy for all of God’s children; be they be banging each other over their heads with large sticks or whatever man in his wisdom has more recently invented to do that job for him.
After a lifetime devoted to trying to foster the love of One’s fellow man in my brother’s heart, Time has been taken for a moment to consider what a complete waste of time the whole job has been, and that man is no better than a slavering bitey dog… Maybe One has become a tad cynical. Maybe the emotive sight of a young boy having wet himself with fear no longer provokes the empathy it should… maybe I saw too much of this at Marlborough as a youth myself. Still I take your point, and also more importantly the point made by Mr. Edgar… who without sin shall through the first stone… even at an Israeli tank.

Reverend Modo said...

'Throw' I should say.


By the way I have often found during the course of a long and boring life that anyone using the term 'intellectual pretensions', (it is with an ‘s’ not a ‘t’ by the way you are no doubt becoming confused with ‘pretentious’) generally has a somewhat lazy disposition relying on borrowed opinion, and has a hard time completing the crossword in a jazz magazine. No offence meant.

call me ishmael said...

Dear Mr Modo

You have obviously missed, in your life devoted to blah blah blah, my young friend, stanislav's excoriation of the nit-picker, God's human realisation of the accursed spellchecker (sic), a sort of walking, talking, whining Tippex bottle; you may google said outburst, I believe it is titled The Apostrophe Jihadi and from it mark, learn and inwardly digest its axioms; failing that there is a vocation's worth of correction to be done elsewhere and if such is your bent, there you must head, take your own pizza for congregants there are on short commons. I, however, do not leap from my bed crying, Hallelujah, I simply cannot wait to read so and sos correction of others' spellings.

As an afterthought, the national anthem of Ishmaelia is taken from the forsaken wilderness of mr dylan's John Wesley Harding, another foray into Biblical allusion. The final, damning verse of The Wicked Messenger prays:

Oh, the leaves began to falling
And the seas began to part
And the people that confronted him were many
And he was told with these few words
Which opened-up his heart
If you cannot bring good news, don't bring any.

The mess is over, make unto one another the sign of Ruin and go in peace, correcting thy brother's spelling no more.

T. P. Greatorex said...

Had a boots name of Yishma'el in Kaaba in 1960. At a loss, don't know if I'm talking with Mr. Saniflo or not. Is that you?
Got a bit prickled there by that ass Modo I see. Nearly gave yourself away. As you say rise above it, no pun intended Mr. Saniflo.

call me ishmael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
call me ishmael said...

Blogger call me ishmael said...

Who is anyone, Mr Greatorex, each of us containing, as we do, multitudes, innit?

Our regular correspondent, Mr The Dyers Garden, rightly condemns the exercise of viciousness masquerading as sagacity, cheese-paring as scholarship, hair-splitting as wisdom; I merely amplify his dictum; rather than rising above, I would flush it away. No fucking pun, either, intended is

Anonymous said...

They do say that shit floats. I never gave the author credit for such self analysis.

Anonymous said...

Children hear too much about forgiveness and experience too little of it. In their distress, they would disgrace the adults who whinge about trifles, except that their shadows are too short to fall on grown men.