Wednesday, 5 August 2009

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY. America, the last great hope of mankind.

"Dance class shooting: four killed by gunman at US gym
At least four people have died after a gunman opened fire on women during a dance lesson at a gym in Pennsylvania." From the Daily Heffer.

Cue: Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

No, people with guns kill people.

Still, at least they were pnly women, eh.


The so-called constitutional argument for our cousins being tooled-up is that the citizen needs to be able to arm himself against the depradations of an over-mighty state. Like the Bush-Obama Thieving Bankers' Welfare continuum.


Reverend Modo said...

Last Sunday I gave a small sermon on the subject of tolerance; it went thusly: -

"Well, I wanted to say a few words to you all about a bit of a sticky topic. I know it's not a manly thing to discuss here, but to be perfectly frank; it's a subject in our church that just won't go away.

You might be able to guess what I'm going to talk about. It's the old schoolboy problem: falling in love with another fellow Yes, I know it's not awfully nice, but it's something we have to look straight in the eye.

You probably never thought of it like this, but what's a chap to do when he finds himself falling in love with one of his chums? Let's say you're down in the mines and you've forgotten your chip butty and pint of tea and one of your mates shares his with you. It makes you feel fond of him doesn't it? Before long you've got an especially close friendship with him. You meet at the pub. You play dominoes together. You dig your allotment and share your tools. On a Sunday afternoon you have a pint together and light your pipes. Now there's nothing in the world wrong with that.

Well, nowadays in our church a good number of our vicars have got friendships like that. In fact, they have lots of friends who have good friendships like that too. They enjoy each other's company and share harmless past times together. They collect china and antiques and enjoy visiting Wells. Some of them even share the vicarage and are married to one another. There are some close-minded folk who think that sort of thing is wrong.

Is it wrong? Not in my book. Let me tell you lot, there is nothing wrong with good, hearty manly friendship. Why I remember when I was up at Oxford a rather weedy lad with pimples named Peach Endicott fell for me. He wanted to go punting and read poetry, but I had the cure for him. We went out on the lawn and worked up a good sweat playing croquet. He soon got over his infatuation and married the archdeacon's daughter. Sadly it didn't last, but today Mrs. Endicott is the Bishop of Dibden Purlieu and Peach is precentor of the cathedral and lives in a nice little house in the close with his good friend Martin.

You might be tempted to condemn Peach, but I've learned not to. You remember what Our Lord said? "Let him who never made a mistake cast the first stone?" and don't forget how he said to the woman who made a mistake, "Go and make no more mistakes."

That's my final word! Let's live and let live. Life's too short to judge others. My view on the whole subject is simple: ours is a broad church. It's for everyone. We've got to accept those who seem a little bit different from us. I say, "To each his own, and love your neighbour as yourself." --as it were. After all, we mustn't be unkind to another chap just because he has a few problems in the trouser department."

Anonymous said...

Guns don't kill people,bullets do.

Elby the Beserk said...


You can kill someone by smacking them hard on the head with a gun, but...

Modo! Is that you?! Ms. Lilith will be delighted!

call me ishmael said...

Dear Your Holiness

I don't think that from my post anyone could reasonably infer that I felt that gay vicars should be shot, be that is it may, do feel free to sermonise here as you will. God knows we need a counterblast to the dire catechism of Elder Brown, the nation's unfavouritest preacher. Here, in Scotland, the best part of England, the Kirk has recently made Gordon's path to full ministry much the clearer by ordaining a reverend arse bandit such as those you describe - and such as himself - permitting him those full sodomiting rights which you extol throughout the Presbytery and probably, God Willing, among the congregation, such as it is, aged, feeble and embittered.

It is but a convention largely dishonoured and almost entirely abandoned hereabouts but a courtesy, nonetheless, which one might expect from a person of faith, such as yourself, to at least mention the topic of the post. I confess that my young friend, mr stanislav, the plumber often rampaged all over poor Mr von Fawkes's site with scant regard for the issue in question but he, like most plumbers, is a Godless fucking atheist and convinced that all those in holy orders are merely undiscovered child molesters; your digressive preaching here, today, has at the very least, Scotched, so to speak, that foul rumour. Hasn't it ?

Reverend Modo said...

Páteant aures misericórdiæ tuæ, Dómine, précibus supplicántium : et, ut peténtibus desideráta concédas ; fac eos, quæ tibi sunt plácita, postuláre. Per Dóminum.

Bunty Binstock said...

That's not even proper Latin, Lucien.

Anonymous said...

Back to guns and things.
It would be very nice to know the deaths per per million population from gunshot "over there" compared to "over here", and likewise for knives.
The fact that gun ownership here is banned does not seem to be a problem for those wanting to kill.

Pax Vobiscus

Anonymous said...

Bullets don't kill people, Mr Rightwinggit: it's the kinetic energy in the bullet that does for a chap.

barrack obomba said...

it's like this you see...opinion polls show that women in the united states feel i've been exercising undue favouritism towards afghan women...and well...i did the manly thing...purely on a point of principle, you know...equality, democracy, fraternity and all that...i've got nothing against dancing, of course...

spark up said...


just what we need around here, rev - a bit of good old down-to-earth community counselling.

PT Barnum said...

Gun deaths per 1000 people in the years 1998-2000 (no newer transnational statistics available)

USA 0.0279271

UK 0.00102579

PT Barnum said...


Hawaii had 2.6 gun-related deaths per 100,000 population. 9.7 percent of Hawaii households own guns.

Louisiana, which topped the nation in gun deaths at 19.5 per 100,000, had gun ownership levels of 45.6 percent.

One could regard this as modified natural selection if it weren't for their tendency to kill folk who lack ruddy necks, a confused genealogy and a liking for white sheets.

scooby klu said...


One could regard this as modified natural selection if it weren't for their tendency to kill folk who lack ruddy necks, a confused genealogy and a liking for white sheets.

yikes! i'm outta here!!!

Anonymous said...

in the UK we have had -
rifles confiscated from thousands of law-abiding shooters after the Hungerford massacre, pistols confiscated after the Dunblane massacre, (innocent people having to surrender their property following two criminal acts)
we have also seen the disbandment of the UDR (a British Army part-time regiment in Northern Ireland), the disarming of the IRA coupled with the refusal by the chief constable to re-issue permits for personal protection weapons to ex-police and army in N.Ireland (even though the threat from terrorists is acknowledged by the police)
we behold the ridiculous spectacle of Britain's Olympic pistol shooters having to practice in N.I or the isle of man. (the pistol range for the 2012 Olympics is to be demolished as soon as the games are over)
there has been a deliberate and prolonged campaign to disarm the populace, to the extent that even a shot-gun applicant has a visit from Plod to question family members. there is currently a similar campaign of intolerance for privately-owned firearms gestating in the USA.
in all regimes in history, one group is forbidden to bear arms, the slaves. the reason is to make them (us!) easier to control by state force. the current round of campaigns, which haven't resulted in any reduction in crime, is to minimise the possibility of armed resistance to tyranny by the populace in general, and by trained groups and individuals in particular.
a good definition of a free society is one in which a private citizen can buy a firearm without restriction. if the minions of Government don't trust me (a peaceful, law-abiding man) with a firearm, why the hell should i trust them? walking about with their poxy tasers as if they own the place....

call me ishmael said...

Yes, Mr Anonymous, that is a compelling argument, particularly given the rise in guncrime since the post-Dunblane legislation and it is an argument I have deployed myself often .

I would be fine about you having a gun and me having one, it's just all the other fuckers. I know a few shotgun owners here in Scotland and these people would give you nightmares even if they didnae have guns, drunken bastard misanthropes, fucked-up headcases.

Whatever one's biew there is no political party which will re-introduce legal ownership of handguns or semi-aytomatic weapons and there are even moves to ban air weapons.

Times being as they are the prudent man would set aside complaint and improvise, arm himself as best he can, lest he face the worst that might happen.

Reverend Modo said...

Any fellow wanting to roam his meadows and hills early of a morning with his old box lock ejector to bag a few rabbits, would have my, and no doubt the Lord’s blessing. However it’s these chummers in leisure wear, living in Streatham; with their Italian ‘up and overs’ looking to shoot up their local ‘red biddy’ saloon that grabs the attention of those that make the laws. Why on earth someone would need such an item in the city makes one scratch one’s head, rather like those ladies that drive Landrovers on the school run in Chelsea.