Monday, 10 August 2009



One of Britain’s most senior bent spooks, Mr John Tosser,

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insisted today that none of the unintelligence services would torture suspects, or wogs just lifted off the street, unless they could make-up a very good reason for doing so.

Mr Kim Nutter Howells MP, of GayWales Labour, a former communist, a former minister and a complete arsehole

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said that his Torture committee had been looking into the matter of torture, there hadn’t been any and if anyone said there had, he growled in his manly baritone, they would soon find themselves wired-up to the national grid, their balls in a vice. We’ll keep a welcome in the hillsides, alright, only not the kind you’d want. We have to torture people otherwise the IRA and the animal rightists and the wogs will be blowing our arses off.

Mr Scarlett, who distinguished himself by his fictional account of Iraqi WMD, said that his priority was the maintainance of the liberal democracy which his department was working so hard to subvert and make totalitarian. It is only by having a police state that we can preserve your freedoms for you.

Mr Tosser said that his remarks had the full approval in advance of Mr Ali Campbell, the famous bisexual, drunk depressive who had in fact written them, just like all the false Iraq war stuff which led to his, Scarlett’s, promotion. And the deaths of probably millions. But we won’t linger on that. The peerage is in the post. And the oil well.

"Dr." Kim Howell’s remarks as quoted in the Daily Heffer:

"So I'm very worried that these calls for judicial inquiries and so on are really treating the intelligence agencies as guilty until proven innocent and that's very, very dangerous for the security of this country." Mr Howells said "no government on Earth" could guarantee that prisoners who had been picked up and held in another country had not had their human rights abused in some way. But, he added: "If we don't have that information from other intelligence agencies, how can you be sure that there aren't jihadists who are trying to murder citizens on the street or Irish republicans who want to blow people to pieces in order to further their cause? You have no way of knowing that."

The mindset of a Labour MP is wonderful to perceive. Cunt. Here, Mr Torture Howells MP poses with his chums.

(from the Guardian)

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“It's a measure of how utterly out of touch and contemptuous New Labour apparatchiks are towards their own party - let alone wider progressive opinion - that the foreign office minister Kim Howells not only thought it a good idea to pose for a picture with a Colombian general linked to rightwing death squads and an army unit accused of killing trade unionists - but then proudly posted it on his department's website”

So that's it then. No more torture. Unless we have to.


PT Barnum said...

What baffles me is why this regime is bothering to airmail torturees all over the world when they have spent so long refining a home-grown version in the geriatric wards of the National IVF-for-all Service. There we have: food supplied but always just out of reach; empty water jugs and full flower vases; the walls and floors coated with bodily fluids from previous victims; the stench of unclean sheets and bodies; the hardened indifference of an entire staff able to sneer at pain and humiliation and occasionally slap those who dare to utter a syllable of complaint.

And, by depositing these pesky torturees there, no murmurs of human rights abuses would be heard as they receive the highest quality care before succumbing to a random disease about which 'lessons will be learned'.

Oh Dear said...

The Tommygun post was a piece of utter stupidity. Were you drunk at the time?

I suppose you realise that although you have taken it down it still appears to all those using a reader?

You must also know that you have one or two enemies who would no doubt delight in drawing the attention of Plod to your post.

Given the photos of your surroundings I reckon it will take them about 5 minutes to locate you, if they haven't already.

caesars wife said...

cameo role In V for vendetta ??

lilith said...

Calm Down Oh Dear, it was no doubt one of these.
I'll take a dozen.

black hole sunset said...

Chronicles of Ruin, too, to judge from what hint remains in google's cache.


Oh Dear said...

Yes, Lilith, I had guessed as much, thank you. Not a tremendous consolation, though, when the heavy mob smash down the front door and chuck in the stun grenades.

It's Buster I'm thinking of, bless him; unlike our host he definitely doesn't need the excitement. Explaining it to Mrs S - now that will be exciting!

The Dyer's Garden said...

The part of Scotland Mr Smith calls his England has not (i think) yet been sat-mapped by google at high resolution, so identifying his location may take his fan club a little longer than Odious suggests. But no need to take the risk, it is true, pleasing though the pictures are.

Oh Dear said...


Try leaving the Rubia Peregrina alone for five minutes, eh?

The Dyer's Garden said...

Yes, dear, keep working on your wit, everything improves with practice, even when, as in your case, nature has put a rather low ceiling on it.