Monday, 17 August 2009


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Reacting to the news that an eighteen month old boy had fallen from a balcony and died while on holiday in Sardinia, a spokesman for child welfare experts Gerry and Cilla McCann said that the best thing the parents could do at this terrible time was to hire a PR team and pay them to blame the Portuguese police; they should also explore the possibilities of having the public pay-off their mortgage and pay for their families to fly around the world, blaming the Portuguese police. It is true, intervened Gerry, a stage doctor, that Sardinia is not in Portugal but that’s not very helpful, read more on my blog and in the Daily Desmond. If anybody says I pushed the wee boy off the balcony, me and Mr Branson will sue them.

The main thing is not to answer any questions off the peelers, said Scouser Cilla, like when they got you in the Bridewell an' that, just keep schtum, thay can't pin not'n on ya that way, even if ya never done it, just like we said we never. Even if yous turned your back on the baby an he fell off, like, say ya was 'avin a bevvy or somethin', it still doesn't mean that the Portuguese filth aren't trying to frame yous up.


Anonymous said...
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A Young Lithuanian Carpenter said...

Mr I, are you aware of the Scally's unusual 'lifestyle choices'?

These were dug up both Murdoch and Associated hacks within days of the child 'going missing'. High-level editorial decisions were made to not mention the revelations as they were not 'relevant'. (Although the allegation was mentioned in one edition of the London Evening Standard).

However the Portuguese are well aware of the story and - it being a very family-orientated, Catholic country - do not have any time for the McScallys.

Word is, the Scallys ran into some very dodgy people during the execution of their hobby.

call me ishmael said...

The ability of this pair of revolting scumbags to evade responsibility for their actions and to do so with the connivance of HM Govt. and skymadeupnewsandfilth is a testament to Ruin far mnore vivid and compelling than anything we might write; if you would see Decency's rout, look no further Gerry and Cilla McCann.