Sunday 26 March 2023

The Sunday Ishmael: 26/03/2023

 Tricky little devils, those Ukrainians.
And stupid. Having done the deed, though, they were clever enough to know that European support for Ukrainian resistance to the Russian invasion might wane should it become widely known that their actions had forced the cost of fuel sky-high, enabling profiteering through shortage, resulting in cold homes and high food prices as farmers gave up attempting to heat their polytunnels. 
Turns out that secret services, politicians and journalists have known for quite some time that it were them Ukrainies wot dunnit, but they didn't want the public to know, as the people might have turned against America's war, preferring instead to be warm and well-fed. And the loose affiliation of international  millionaires and billionaires wouldn't want to upset America, now, would they?
This is how it went.
On 6 September 2022, the motor yacht Andromeda set sail from the  Baltic port of Rostock, on hire for £2,600 a week by a Ukrainian-owned company. At least six passengers were on board, all carrying fake passports. Little Andromeda was not required to carry an Automatic Identification System – but subsequent scrutiny of marina security camera footage and docking records located the Andromeda at Christianso and Wiek on the island of Rügen on the days before and after the destruction of three of the four Gazprom-owned Nord Stream pipelines on 26 September 2022. Last Wednesday the German public prosecutor’s office confirmed that the Andromeda had been searched between 18 and 20 January over ‘suspicions it could have been used to transport explosive devices that exploded on 26 September 2022’ and, indeed, traces of explosives had been found aboard. 
Within days of the destruction, investigators in Germany, Sweden and Denmark knew that the perpetrators were Ukrainian, but the details of the investigation were kept, not only from the public, but from EU and US parliamentarians and from the United Nations because the news that Ukrainians were involved in an attack on Germany’s critical infrastructure could have a devastating impact on Kyiv’s relations with its major European supporters. A senior UK intelligence official told journalist Owen Matthews, ‘the story will come out sooner or later…but we’re not going to be the ones to leak it.’ 
Apparently, it didn't need much explosive to wreak the devastating damage: the steel in Nord Stream’s final and thinnest section was 26.8 mm thick, encased in 300 mm of concrete. Although Nord Stream 2 was not yet operational and Nord Stream 1 was pumping just a fraction of its full capacity at the time of the explosions, all four pipelines were filled with pressurised gas pumped in at up to 220 times atmospheric pressure. The enormous pressure of the gas inside the pipe would, when ruptured, have propelled debris far further than the explosion itself.  Gazprom's underwater drones have located unexploded charges near the still-intact second pipeline of Nord Stream 2 and reported the suspicious object to Danish authorities. Danish foreign minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen today acknowledged that a ‘device’ had been found, but said that ‘the assessment from our authorities is that there is no immediate security risk and thus no danger to human life or shipping,’ 
That's alright, then. 
Seems life on Earth had a narrow escape on Saturday,  as  an asteroid, 2023 DZ2, large enough to destroy a city,  passed between the orbits of the Earth and the Moon. Scientists predicted that it would pass, variously, between 100,000 and 175,000km of the Earth. It was a big boy, estimated to be between 40 and 90m in diameter, and astronomers described it's proximity to be a once-in-a decade event. Actually that is not at all reassuring, as once in 10 years is really quite frequent, and Bruce Willis, who stunningly saved the planet from destruction by an asteroid in 1998, 
by blowing it up in bits by a nuclear explosion, has dementia and won't be able to pull it off again - won't remember which button to press.... ( no, mrs ishmael, that was a fillum, Armageddon. Ed.)
Damn thing is due to come back in 2026 and Bruce may not be available then, and 2026 is only 3 years away, not once in a decade at all. (Decade - from the Latin word for ten - decem. Not three).

Which leads us into this little piece by mr ishmael, from editor verge's archives:

There was a show repeated on BBC4 the other night featuring the world’s greatest cosmologists, maybe even the cosmos’s greatest cosmologists - for we know of no others, even though there may be billions of the fuckers, all over the universe, being filmed by their own PBC4; even though there is not a shred of evidence of the existence of extra-terrestrial cosmologists, we - or rather Hollywood and NASA - would like there to be, so believe and hope we must continue to do.

They were mainly strange-looking blokes and the odd strange-looking boffinbint; that weird, grinning Jap-American with the white hair, he was on it, Professor Tojo, but he’s on everything, grinning all around the place, metaphysicking orientally, delighted by his own Pearl Harbour cleverness. There were people who were post-Einsteinians averring - as we all know, without having to set-up billion dollar experiments - that as far as the the Laws of Physics go, their writ does not run everywhere, so they’re more like by-laws, or aspirations - as we must now call greedy ambition; in fact, in my view, scientific laws are just nerdy scriptures, boffin-speak for Just Believe In My Brand Of Horseshit And You’ll Be Alright.

I barely did science at school and all I know about cosmology is what I have read in the books and seen in the shows of wotsisname, that bloke who’s name is on Challenger, Carl Sagan. The opposite to our own dreary, oddly hostile and forbidding Sir Patrick Trousers, Sagan was a determinedly charismatic proselytizer for the idea of science-as-liberation, his eloquent entheusiasm part-showbiz, part-divine - en-theus-iasm (archaic) filled with God. But that’s just me, equations mean nothing to me; my educational dinners have to be cut up into little bits for me and blown on, to cool them down.

The point of this show, anyway, was to inform us of the latest revision of Know-It-Allism. Once upon a time, they said, there was this BigBangBollocks in which everything came from nothing and in which everybody who is anybody believed. But I didn’t believe it; how can that happen? How can something - in fact everything - come from nothing? What was there before? 

Ah, before, they mocked, you don’t understand, thinking in terms of before is just stupid, there wasn’t any before. 

How could there not be any before? Don’t talk shit. 

Ah, time, you see, is a dimension of the BigBangBollocks, so obviously before the BigBangBollocks, there wasn’t any time so there can’t have been any before, before being a point on time’s continuum. 

And space, what about space? 

Space, too is a dimension of the BigBangBollocks. 

And the matter, what about the matter, the stuff, gazillions of megatonnes of it, where’d that come from? No, don’t tell me, it just instanted itself at the same non-moment as time created itself, and it all started whizzing around space which also just popped into existence from non-existence; that’s it, right? That’s the BigBangBollocks. Right, that’s really clever.

Just lemme get this clear. Once upon a time - or non-time - there wasn’t any space and there wasn’t any matter and there definitely wasn’t any time, not ever, so to speak. And what happened was that there was a BigBang and, just like magic, everything was, is and ever shall be. This isn’t science, this is fucking GodBollocks, isn’t it? You fuckers are asking me to believe in the unbelieveable, just like the Pope of Nonces does, but you dress it all up with lengthy strings of numbers and letters which, for all I know, are fucking gibberish, shamanism, and then you tell me that my failure to make sense of this BigBangBollocks is due to my own scientific inadequacy. I need, you tell me, like some smirking, phoney, priapic Buddhist hustler, that I need to be able to imagine nothing; that I need to dig my Krishna Consciousness, turn off my mind, relax and float downstream, as though I was the fuckwit, tax-dodging, chain-smoking BeatleGit, Hari Georgeson; as though I was some gullible, more-money-than-sense hybrid of Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Van Morrison, believing in lizards-from-space or whatever those cunts are into.

These people, cosmologists, were arseholes, are arseholes and ever shall be arseholes; in the beginning was the arsehole. But now cosmo-revisionism spreads if not across the galaxy then across academe; the BigBangBollocks is now discredited, its former, most fervent advocates now denounce its utter bollocksism just as though they were ordinary people, like me, which they will never be. No, they hiss, it is bollocks, how could something come from nothing, the very idea; how could there have been no time, they chant, as though beaten by cosmological Revolutionary Guards. No, we were wrong, and Dyaknowhat? It’s good to be wrong, because then you can be right again. No, it’s true, I saw a geezer at Oxford, formerly a proponent of the BBB theory, say that very thing; his scientific life had been enriched by being wrong all these years. Damascene, it was, his revision.

I often wonder, looking up at the night-sky, why I’m wasting my time looking at something which isn’t there. Well, the Moon is there and the Sun and the space station and the planets of our own wee system, but we have no way of knowing, the speed of light being so slow, whether anything else we see still exists. All those constellations, they could have all blown to fucking bits aeons ago, how would we know? So when NASA and the Hubblers tell me that they are looking back thirteen billion years to the birth of the universe, well, they’re talking shit, aren’t they? They may be looking at light which is billions of light years distant but it is light which is no longer there. And as for observing the BigBang, well how can they do that for there is/was no space from which to observe or retro-observe it. Obviously.

Unknowables, Fucking Big Unknowables.

Talking about Unknowables, the Big Bang and Bruce Willis (God bless him),  let us consider Dementia. Any belief in a kind and concerned God, active in the affairs of the human race, created in His image, kind of runs contrary to lived experience. 
The reality is that the population of the Global North is aging, becoming demented and developing revolting conditions in consequence of self-neglect. We didn’t use to have old men long term in our hospitals and care facilities – because they died early, due to disease, drink, drugs, dangerous working conditions, war and suicide. Now they are being kept alive, in a state of resentment at their lack of potency, needing personal care (changing continence pads, washing faeces from legs and bottoms) from women who really don’t find them remotely desirable – but the ancient, scabby old chaps convince themselves that it is just fine to cop a feel, stare down the front of tops, expose their rancid old penile members and make various dirty remarks to women who are just doing a job of work. And they can’t even do a decent job of offing themselves due to infirmity and irresolution and absence of means. This is where Liam McArthur’s Lets kill all the Horrid Old Men Bill will come in handy. He calls it something a little less controversial: The Assisted Dying Bill and it aims to introduce the right to an assisted death for terminally ill, mentally competent adults. Doesn’t actually help with the mentally incompetent adults – the ones whose dementia renders them hardly able to walk, except to walk purposefully onto the nearest carpet to defecate – a bit like Harris, really, and billions of woman-hours are spent in feeding, clothing, washing, mopping up after, soothing…There, there, there, there. I think we need care and nursing to be a profession for blokes. They would give short shrift to all the sexualised crap, or at least charge the going rate to jerk off the elderly “gentlemen”. Which might speed them on their way to the next awfully big adventure. God – think of it! Turns out there is a heaven and it is full of all these dribbling, babbling, rotting old boys. And MPs.
The Complete Nonsense moment.

More complete nonsense is  any suggestion that the large-scale resignations at the centre of the Scottish Nationalist Party have anything to do with the missing £663,000 raised by nationalists to fund an independence campaign. Following an 18 month investigation by Police Scotland which had been prompted by the outraged nationalists who had raised the money and were appalled to discover that party funds contained only a few shillings and a couple of trouser buttons, the investigation findings were handed over to the Procurator Fiscal's office (a Scottish thing, a bit like the Crown Prosecution Service, but with wider powers) in January 2023. The Procurator is still having a bit of a think about whether and who to prosecute. The delay has allowed the rats  MSPs and executives  to jump off the sinking ship.
On Monday, the outcome of the vote for a new leader of the SNP will be declared. It looks like it will be Kate Forbes, an intelligent and articulate young woman, who holds Christian beliefs and values. Wee Nicola will leave her post as First Minister, to focus on her driving lessons, because she will no longer have access to the First Ministerial chauffeur-driven car to convey her between Glasgae and Edinburgh; and to spend more time with her disgraced husband, Peter Murrell, former CEO of the SNP, who resigned t'other weekend because he forgot to declare the SNP's membership had dropped by 30,000. If Katie gets the poisoned chalice, it won't be an easy ride. There's the looming prosecution, a shitload of posts to fill, nae money because the SNP has lost the membership fees from the missing 30,000, nae Green support because she has rubbished Green policies - (notably the Gender Reform Recognition Bill, the fucking reverse vending machines and she supports extraction of fossil fuels from the North Sea) and she will be heading up a minority Government. Hmmm - her first First Minister's Questions will be on Thursday - can't wait.
Amongst the litany of anything Sturgeon touches turns to shit were the ferry-building delays. We covered that in these pages on the 10th April 2022. 
You remember - Nicola Sturgeon launched  the ferry, Glen Sannox, in November 2017 with  no windows on its bridge. What appeared to be windows was actually black paint. The painted-on windows were a clever ruse to disguise the fact that the ferry was not finished. It still isn't. The Glen Sannox and her sister ship were expected  to enter service early in 2018. After further delays, handover was expected between March and May 2023—five years late. On March 16, 2023, it was reported that further delays have pushed the ferry's entry into service to Autumn of 2023. Last time I looked, costs were £340 million for two bloody boats. The original budget for the two boats was £97 million.
Controversy surrounding the contract and the lack of transparency in the decision-making process forced the Scottish Government to  announce that key documents relating to the decision-making process had gone missing. Disgraced Derek Mackay, who resigned following a social media courtship of a "cute" 16 year old boy, was held responsible, as former transport minister and former Finance Secretary.  Mrs Fish indicated that the decision to go ahead with the ferry contract without the normal financial guarantees was taken by Disgraced Derek. Despite the failure to complete and hand over the ferries,  £87,000 in bonuses have been paid to six senior managers at the nationalised shipyard, Ferguson Marine, between 2019 and 2022. The ferries are intended to replace rusting and inadequate ships operated by  CalMac Ferries on the Clyde and Hebrides Network. The islands have been very ill-served, pretty much cut off from the mainland; and the Scottish Government, admitting its total failure, has chartered Orkney's boat, the Alfred, for 9 months at a cost of  £9 million. That's right, one million pounds a month.
You remember the Alfred? We covered his disastrous collision with the island of Swona and the near escape of the pet python, thrust down his owner's trousers for safe keeping, on the 7th July 2022.
The Alfred on, or in, Swona

So what will we do without the Alfred, here in Orkney? We're getting the Pentolina back on the Pentland Firth route -  the boat that the Alfred replaced, smells of rancid bacon sandwiches, been tied up and rusting at Hatston for 4 years. That's it - the little red and white one -
Looks like you have to row it across the Firth.

thanks to editor mr. verge, there are now three anthologies of the collected works of ishmael smith:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack  and Ishmael’s Blues are all available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :

Thanks to editor mr. verge, there are now three anthologies of the collected works of ishmael smith:
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack  and Ishmael’s Blues are all available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
please register an account first, at This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box.  Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover :
Link for Paperback :
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage.  If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for " voucher code" and see what comes up.  
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.


boris jobsgone said...

i can assure the committee that, on no occasion, did i ever share a line of cocaine with any of my co-workers in number ten downing street...

i mean, come on now guys: why would i have needed to indulge in such virtue-signalling socialism when i'd a sackful of my own shit sitting upstairs in the cupboard.

well admittedly, in an ideal world, i should have declared that 40 kilo deal as a gift in the register of members' financial interests, however you will have to please forgive me this minor oversight - since the snort was delivered courtesy of the big zee.

ultrapox said...

ah yes...the man with ukraine runnin' around his brain.

boris bioweapon should of course answer one further question: was he aware of the rôle played by british intelligence in supplying ukraine with a nasty lab-virus for release against russia?

mrs ishmael said...

I don't think I know that story, mr ultrapox?

Mike said...

Humza Yusaf: which clan is he a member of?

mrs ishmael said...

I've never been happier to admit I was wrong. Thank goodness it wasn't Kate Forbes - she might have actually made a difference, dragged Scotland out of the UK and bankrupted the nation, which, as we know, is kept afloat only on the Barnett Formula. Nope, we're back to same old, same old with Humza Useless, whose U.S.P. is that he's a Muslim. Not that he's any good. Doesn't matter, that - none of them are. But Forbes might have been.
What clan, mr mike? Why, the Glasgae clan, lang tae rule over us.

Anonymous said...

It is such a disappointment. I had a bit of grandad crush on Katie and now we'll never be together through the TV in Christ. Of course, its an SNP stitch-up like the last and the one before. It's a gravy train and is now shown for what it is.

Mike said...

Mrs I: so, he's one of the Glasgae MacYusafs. Now I understand.

ultrapox said...

at present, there is no direct evidence for the ukrainian bio-weapon story, mrs ishmael - only the following series of circumstantial dots which must be joined to reveal a broader picture:

1. donald trump was impeached in order to prevent him from investigating the biden-family's deep-state - democrat-endorsed - dealings in ukraine.

2. the obama administration covertly funded a host of 'bio-security' labs across ukraine.

3. wayne couzens - a british state-security policeman - and his ukrainian wife - who gained a first-class degree in bio-chemistry from the university of donetsk - made regular trips to visit family in ukraine.

4. the biographical details of sarah everard - who was murdered by wayne couzens in march 2021 - are so sketchy that one must suspect her to have been a member of the british intelligence services.

of course, it is not just president trump who has been left out-of-the-loop regarding matters of secret intelligence:

1. due to hillary clinton's unlawful orchestration of a state-within-a state, obama may have been unaware as to the full extent of cia-efforts to arm al qaeda and thereby create the islamic state.

2. prior to the usassassination of iranian general suleimani, trump may have been misled by the cia as to the origin of missile-attacks launched upon american military bases in iraq - the iraqi government disputed claims by us-intelligence that these rockets had been fired by iranian-backed shi'ite militias, instead determining that the attacks had been launched from areas in which isis was active.

3. president biden has received cia-reports indicating that missile and drone attacks upon us-bases in iraq are being launched by iranian-backed shi'ite militias - however due to the persistent threat of isis-activity in iraq and syria, such intelligence could prove suspect.

mrs ishmael said...

careful with your own security, mr ultrapox, you know too much. I think that Sarah Everard's short life is pretty much documented - see her Wiki page - and it is likely she was not targeted for anything other than the sexual gratification of Couzens. Granted, his record in the security services raises a few queries.
The information about the Democrats' involvement in bio-weaponising Ukraine is chilling and gives credence to Putin's assertions that the US is covertly engaged in war on Russia. And is a pretty good explanation of why they are so keen on pinning a criminal conviction on Trump to prevent him from becoming president again. Honestly, the latest attempt is bizarre - it isn't against the law in America to pay a prostitute, is it? It may be morally repugnant, especially as the allegation seems to be that the payment was to secure her silence about his unpleasant sexual proclivities - but criminal?

mrs ishmael said...

I agree, mr anonymous - Forbes was refreshing and a pleasure to listen to, especially when she was confronting Useless with the litany of failures by the SNP. And generous in defeat - she gave Useless a happy smile and a big hug when the voting was announced. It was a very close run thing, and, being Scottish, not a first post the post race at all. She would have won if only first choice votes were counted, I do believe. No, he got in on second choice votes, and it was still only 52%. Not much of a mandate. But the Greens are happy to support him, so he won't have the uphill struggle of running a minority government. Regan's suggestion that early voters should have been allowed to change their vote had some merit, in that the extent of the scandals and resignations were only revealed after the voting was opened.

mrs ishmael said...

Glasgae is a bit of a blot on the landscape, mr mike, not least in its arrogance and control of the levers of power. Useless' parents may have been immigrants to Scotland, but their lad, Useless, has identified where power lies and squirmed right into it. He may fast for Ramadan, but he doesn't let his Islamic faith interfere with his ambition and career. Interviewed after the result, his mom saw his victory as a triumph for a brown-skinned Muslim. Ironic, really. Good thing his mummy loves him.

ultrapox said...

if anyone doubts the real reason for his rapid ascension to the seat of scottish power, it is that mr useful has shown himself ready and willing to join in the collective war-wank currently being conducted by biden, johnson, and the perverts who populate the rest of europe's political leadership.

mongoose said...

How many battalions does he have?

I have taken a cursory interest in Mr Useless and he is positively, extraordinarily off-the-scale crap at just about everything except warbling McFreedom bollocks. Should we be scrutinising all those postal votes just so we can be sure all was above board?

ultrapox said...

i see your point, mr mike: as a native scot, mr useful must by rights belong to a clan.

politely-put, i suppose he's a mcwotsit - however i'm sure that regulars in any glasgow-pub could furnish you with a far more authentic, if perhaps less politically correct, designation.

meanwhile, by dint of its gender-bending bill, the scottish neo-liberal party gaily persists in its crusade to act out in real life the kinky kaleidoscope of joe sniffem's left-field sexual fantasies.

hitler wouldn't be happy

ultrapox said...

all knowledge in my possession, mrs ishmael, has been acquired through reading national news-media and carrying out research on the public internet: i have no access to secret or illegally gathered intelligence - which by its nature is in any case highly dodgy.

of course, whilst i do not expect the routine publication of a murder-victim's precise biographical details, it should be noted that, with the exception of the job which she had reportedly just started, sarah everard's post-university employment-record still remains pretty much a blank - which fact alone strikes one as somewhat strange, given that we are here concerned with the career of a 21st century digital marketing-executive. judging by her work-photo, the lady certainly doesn't seem the sort to be coerced, or duped, into a stranger's car - and indeed i'd venture to say she has military intelligence written all over her face. the dispute over policing at the sarah everard vigil always felt to me like a staged side-show - crudely designed by the intelligence-services to distract public attention from the true substance of the story.

yes, mr mongoose, a thorough search down the back of mrs stirdung's sofa is absolutely imperative - but expect to find missing votes rather than loose change.

ultrapox said...

in more good news, the daily telegraph informs us that:

young women had 3.5 times higher risk of death from heart issues after astrazeneca jab

"ons found greater risk for 12 to 29 year olds in first three months after single dose of astrazeneca covid vaccine

the risk of dying from heart issues was three and a half times higher among young women in the first three months after a single dose of the astrazeneca covid vaccine, according to a new study...."

ultrapox said...

mrs ishmael, my anti-establishment rant about 'covid'-vaccinations has been censored by your totalitarian spam-filter at circa 00:20hrs on 30th march 2023...

please could you re-instate this comment?


der gemeckerkönig said...

ach, how wunderbar to be back unter den linden im mutterland:

ich bin ein wingdinger

bring mir die wurst von adolf hitler

ultrapox said...

having released a weaponized lab-virus upon the world in order to grab geo-political power, our neo-liberal leadership has now hugely compounded this crime by forcing upon weak-minded western populations an experimental, and dangerously toxic, 'covid'-vaccine - yet when are we actually going to see ministers put in hand-cuffs and escorted from parliament?

of course, by 'ministers' i mean the monstrous cowboys heading the governments of england, scotland, wales, and the members of whichever wild bunch has hold of the reins in northern ireland.

incidentally, general practitioners and nhs hospital-consultants in wales are still refusing to investigate the cause of blood-clots - and other blood-disorders - which arise following 'covid'-vaccination.

with what a fucking appalling cabal of criminals we britons are blessed

mrs ishmael said...

mr. ultrapox, the Spam machine censored one of my comments to you, so I had to go wading in there, amongst all the exhortations to meet avid and eager Ukrainian beauties, to entrust my money to Albanian businesses and to enlarge my penis, in order to pluck out my little comment of the 28th March. The Spam machine jumps on anything with a hint of political dubiety, I think, but it is mindless. Probably responds to a few trigger words. You'll probably be ok if you stick to cod-German.
Okay, I'll go looking for your rant.

mrs ishmael said...

And it just popped my last comment to you, mr ultrapox, into its Spam box. I think it was having a joke.

ultrapox said...

well done, and thank you for your intrepid excavations, mrs ishmael: i'm sure the world is a better place now that my protestations are 'out', rather than 'in'.

further to the ons-study reported by the telegraph - and referenced above - i can today link you to a bmj-article which comments upon it in more detail:

covid-19: study reports no significant increase in deaths after vaccination but raises questions over astrazeneca’s vaccine

"researchers have found no significant increase in mortality in young people in the 12 weeks after a covid-19 vaccination, when compared with the longer term risk, but reported an increase in cardiac death in women after a first dose of non-mrna vaccines.

the genocidal maniacs in our neo-liberal establishment really appear to have all bases covered: first, the mrna-'covid'-vaccine - manufactured by pfizer, moderna, and johnson & johnson - adversely affects the cardio-vascular health of young men, and then, astrazeneca's non-mrna-'covid'-vaccine adversely affects the cardio-vascular health of young women...

but fear not, because in general, "researchers have found no significant increase in mortality in young people in the 12 weeks after a covid-19 vaccination".

why-on-earth are we allowing greedy and corrupt pharmaceutical companies to target - healthy - youngsters with patently dangerous drugs?

meanwhile, in the backwards backwoods of wales, it takes nearly three months - from a patient's initial presentation at her local surgery with a swollen leg - for the gp to diagnose a blood-clot. apparently, the aforesaid blood-clot resulted from iron-deficiency anaemia which occurred following receipt of the bivalent 'covid'-booster-vaccine - however, under the orders of a politically-corrupt nhs, gps and haematologists still obstinately refuse to investigate the actual cause of this anaemia.

it all stinks to bloody hell.

basically, our wonderful nhs is injecting the british population with a poisonous substance, and subsequently having to administer to those selfsame previously healthy patients a series of emergency blood-and-iron transfusions - but ideally a course of steroids - in order to treat their life-threatening anaemias.

who will rid us of these fucking political and medical imbeciles?

when will the stench-filled establishment-stables at last be cleansed?

piers corbyn for pm, anyone...?

and how about andrew bridgen for health secretary - or home secretary in charge of tribunals?

ultrapox said...

mrs ishmael, i believe that the cod-german to which you refer is in fact echtes deutsch spoken by ein echtes kraut.

in other news, the moaning monarch has arrived in berlin on his first foreign visit as headbanger-of-state; the green king was duly accompanied by his trusty sack-of-potatoes - and by a genial gorilla whom he has apparently engaged as security for the duration of this cross-channel trip.

proceeding to the reichstag, his royal hitlerness made an historic speech, however despite everyone there-assembled praying that he would not mention the war, the cunt did, and with the fat-as-fuck neo-imperialist gorilla standing right beside him throwing menacing looks, our flower-fingering führer even suggested that the hermans start another one, against russia - by arming battalions of kindred nazis, and assorted swastika-adorned hoodlums, in ukraine.

of course, throughout the day, queen camzilla left a lasting impression on thronging german well-wishers, who took her for quite a dish - usually kartoffelsalat.

on a final - more aesthetic - note, it seems that our foreign secretary has cleverly had his pubes transplanted onto his chin in a cunning ruse to confuse potential russian assassins.

the moanin' monarch said...

jawohl, man kann kraut

harry hakenkreuz said...

why can't i be a nazi too, daddy?

it's so unfair

mrs ishmael said...

You made me loloutloud, mr ultrapox, and go hunting for recent images of the Very Right Honourable Forwig Secretary. You are right - it isn't a good look. Not that we are lookist, racist, fattist or Essexist here in ishmaelia, of course, but he is one ugly, portly person of colour. As we know, Politics is show biz for ugly people - but Cleverly takes the biscuit. The whole packet. I suppose he can't grow a snuffler's beard, but the full black piratical number he is sporting needs only a dagger clenched between bleached teeth to complete the look. Maybe his intention is to frighten our enemies into submission, as he abandons diplomacy in favour of shiver me timbers, here comes the British gun boat.

ultrapox said...

i plead guilty to all charges of racism, sexism, and big fat bearded cuntism, mrs ishmael...

however in mitigation of these offences, might i state that the nato-imperialist war-mania - which currently infects, and indeed titillates, our establishment - has become absolutely bloody intolerable.

mrs ishmael said...

Aye, right - and scary, mr ultrapox. Where are all the conscientious objectors?

ultrapox said...

conscientious objectors and anti-war protestors...?

do such characters still exist, mrs ishmael?

i heard that they're all being chucked out of the labour party for staging a politically-incorrect sit-in and sporting non-regulation hair-cuts.

apparently, comrade corbyn had literally to be carried out - by a skin-headed squad of starmer's neo-imperialist thugs.