WHAT THE PAPERS SAY. HUMAN METRONOME STRIKES AGAIN.

Gulf of Mexico oil spill: Barack Obama to 'bring those responsible to justice'

Barack Obama has signalled that there would be criminal charges brought in the Gulf of Mexico oil spill disaster, pledging to "bring those responsible to justice" if laws were broken.

In another chunky little sing-song list of his intentions, the Walking Autocue has promised, solemnly promised - you know, like, somea my promisises ain't so solemn, but his one is so fucking solemn I could shit it right outa my asshole, here on the White House Lawn - to prosecute the guilty. To the fullest extent. Of the law. And if we can't do that, we gonna change the motherfucking law. We simply cannot endure. As ay nation. These dirty, oily motherfuckers. Jeopardising my re-election. Shit, no. We cain't.

Obama has taken the Attorney fucking General down to the Bayou country and told him to throw somebody's ass in the jailhouse. Anybody's ass'll do. Just so's we can blame some sonofafuckinbitch for all this shit.

Now, seems a bit ornery to me, all this posturing. Either BP has broken the law, in which case it should be prosecuted without the President of the United States getting involved, or it hasn't broken the law,  in either case, however,   new laws aren't going to make any difference. If your house gets burgled in Alabama you surely don't have to ring the White House, before law enforcement stirs its ass, do you. Sorry ta bother you and all, Mr President, Suh, only my neighbour done let his dawg shit in my yard and I wanna know why you ain't sent the Attorney General down here, pronto, to shave his head and throw his ass in the peni-fuckin-tentiary, this ain't what I pay my taxes fo', ya idle nigger bastard..Well, actually, Sir, ain't no actual law against dawgshit but maybe we can pass one backwards, sorta thing, then we can send a US marshal, arrest your neighbour and electrocute his ass, for ya, shower a sparks and eyeballs popping out and shit runnin' all down his legs and a loada witnesses and DAs and freaks all stood there watchin this fuckin' mediaeval shit, and mebbe that'll make this dude think twice about lettin' his dawg shit all over your yard.  Is he a African-American kinda perpetrator? No, I only ask because they's a good bit easier to get a death penalty verdict on.

Seems that the Obamessiah has been listening to our very own Harriet SourSister, currently commanding former Field Marshal Snot's troops.  She said, last year, remember, that Sir Fred Goodwin couldn't keep his pension because the prime minister didn't want him too and it was frowned upon in the Court of Public Opinion (skymadeupnewsand filth). The result was that Sir Fred kept his pension and his chums in the banks and the city put public funds to good use, paying themselves bonuses.

Won't be long before Obama's punitive declarations perish on the vine, as his minders remind him that it's big business, actually, keeps everybody in coke and whores. But all this grandstanding will help, he thinks, with the teenyboppers and fuckwits and retards who bought into his hypocritical YesWeCan shit, especially  now, as it morphs into YesWeCan't.