Sunday 14 February 2010

I READ THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY.


MR & MRS WAYNE POTATO LEAVE COURT TODAY DURING THE CUSTODY BATTLE FOR THEIR MONEY.

WE'D JUST LIKE THE MEEJA TO LEAVE US IN PRIVACY, APART FROM THEM WOT'S PAYIN' US, LIKE, SAID A SPOKESMAN FOR THE POTATO FAMIILY. WAYNE NEEDS TO GET 'IS 'EAD TOGETHER, LIKE AND 'E'LL PROBLY BE MAKING SOME CHARITABLE VISITS TO SOME ELDERLY PROSTITUTES, LIKE 'E DOES. NAH, COLLEEN IS VERY UNDERSTANDING, SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT SHE'D NEVER SEE MONEY LIKE THIS IF IT WERE'NT FOR 'ER BEING MRS POTATO.

MR POTATO, ONE OF THE HIGHEST EARNERS, SO TO SPEAK, IN THE GANG-RAPISTS' PREMIERSHIP, WAS SAID TO BE DISTRAUGHT AT BEING PARTED FROM HIS MONEY, THEY'RE LIKE ME BABBIES, ALL THEM MILLIONSA POUNDS, LIKE, GRUNTED MR POTATO, THROUGH AN INTERPRETER.

READ MORE POTATO ADVENTURES IN SKYMADEUPNEWSANDFILTH'S HELLO AND FUCK-OFF! MAGAZINE,


AVAILABLE TO POOR PEOPLE EVERY WEDNESDAY WITH PICTURES OF ALL THE IMPORTANT POTATO EVENTS, POTATO HOMES AND WEDDINGS AND WHAT THE POTATOES REALLY THINK. AND DON'T FORGET, POTATO-WATCHERS, THAT MRS POTATO HAS HER OWN TV POTATO SHOW.

CROWD OF MAN U SUPPORTERS OUTSIDE COURT SINGS:

ONE WAYNE POTATO,
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAYNE POTATO........

6 comments:

PT Barnum said...

Now I'm distressed. On top of all the do-gooder understanding, police harrassment and terrible weather, prostitutes have to face that as a client? Ugh. The Society for the Suppression of Vice has had the wrong target all along.

call me ishmael said...

It was great sport at the time, mr ptb, if you missed it just google it for a flavour of contemporary ruin, see how they weathered the storms in their business, I mean marriage.

Anonymous said...

Leave them to it the Sun. Mirror, Daily Spurt have you thought of the alternative? The fucking morons who pay to see these people in the beautiful game more than the mortgage costs a month, failing that shouting at the TV set in the pub might just realise what a shithole the UK has become. They could always ask professor Wayne or Beckham what they should do

PT Barnum said...

I think, on reflection, Mr Ishmael, I shall leave Mr PotatoHead's red light shenanigans in the category of Mystery, along with the identities of most "celebrities". It secures my pretentions to intellectual superiority. And, when I require a dose of Ruin to bolster my ire, I find half an hour of Jeremy Kyle works wonders. Laxative and emetic all in one.

call me ishmael said...

Stronger stomach than I, mr ptb, I can watch most things but not that. Kill the bastard, I would, if I ever got near.

mongoose said...

The knobhead's knobhead. Vile, horrible, ugly and stupid. For what more could a girl ask?