Saturday 8 June 2013

ROYAL JELLY. WE ARE NOT AMUSED.




I know she's a poor mother, a rotten, timid, cowardly monarch and a shameless leech on the public purse - and you can fuck off with that tourism schtick - but this current behaviour takes the fucking biscuit.  Her old man is an old man, ninety-two, and he will die soon, maybe very soon.  What on Earth does Brenda Battenberg think she's playing at? Royal duties? Duties my arse. Nobody gives a fuck if she turns up or if it's some other old floozy in a tiara, and if they do give a fuck, they shouldn't. People who crave the odour of Ruritanian tree-planting or ribbon-cutting are morons who need disappointing, need to be stood-up by RoyalFilth, anyway.

She must be believing her own press cuttings, sixty years' hard work without a break, aye, right, just four or or five months holiday a year, cruises and trips all around the world, chauffeured, pampered and spoonfed by batallions of hiSsing arsewipers.  Oh, but Mr Ishmael,  we mustn't forget those pesky red boxes that she pretends to read, every day she pretends to do it,  that can't be easy.   No, must be murder, holding Thatcher and Blair and the rest to account even though she doesn't, signing-off on wars, recession, unemployment, murder, torture and now the dismantling of the welfare state - the only decent thing about her rotten reign.

She should go and sit beside her husband until he's better, I know they parented a quartet of ghastly misfits and the extended family is just as bad but life isn't, as she seems to think,  a monarchical endurance test,  her duties are, by any rational compass, meaningless pomp and circumstance;  never too late, even for one as staggeringly redundant as Brenda, to show a little human  compassion, even frailty.  If she doesn't, this hideous, inhuman, chilly reserve may blow up in her face, again.

16 comments:

Old timer said...

I think this lady is now just another EU Citizen, after having signed herself away a couple of years ago.

But I do agree, her place should be beside Phil - even just to make sure he doesn't have to drink the water from the flower vases and check that his urine bag is emptied regularly.

On the other hand, after 60 odd years of marriage, he may just fancy a couple of weeks of peace and quiet with pretty nurses attending to his every need. Hope he recovers swiftly as we desperately need somebody at the top of the tree with a sense of humour!

call me ishmael said...

I don't know if you noticed, a few years back, mr ot, when they changed the advertising for cold and flu remedies, there were dark hints that if you didn't buy SnotAway blackcurrant flavour cold remedy then some other smart cookie would do that presentation to management and you would inevitably be down the road, muttering. The message was, No you can't have time off, just for a cold, come into the office and give it to everyone else or we'll find a way to sack you. It's this element of Brenda's behaviour that I despise, this (bad) example setting; if she hadn't spent her life thus her ghastly spawn might have been marginally better citizens, although I doubt it.

I remember my young friend, stanislav, rebuking Gordon Brown's friends for not being friends. At a time when he was clearly wrestling with serious mental health problems his so-called friends kept bigging him up, filth like Straw and Hoon and Ainsworth, lacking the compassion and charity you would show to a mad dog.

Someone should whisper in Brenda's ear: Ma'am you're acting like an arsehole.

Arthur said...

It might just be that she can not face up to the demise of her spouse and has to "do something" to take her mind off the prospect. I have always felt that he was the boiler house.
The again I might be talking out of my hat.

call me ishmael said...

You may be right, mr arthur, Who among us can do that bit of facing-up, which of us can outguess Death and his sergeants; yet we all lose or are lost-to, she must be the most pampered woman in the world, surely someone in her retinue can lend her a cup of courage, until Giro day.

Ragarse said...

To my great shame I retain a mild liking for Her Royal Majestyness. Any old bint curesd with a sixty odd year old son who needs someone to carry his special cushion from the helicopter to the car deserves a litle sympathy. At least she shows a sense of obligation or duty or whatever. I can't however stand all these arse licking fuckers who say how marvellous she is for her age. As you point out she does fuck all. A hard day consists of first class transport to open something or other, few carefully chosen words, done it a thousand times before. Hardest mental exercise is working out when it's safe to slip out a fart.

As to Phil the Greek I don't think she gives a fuck about the old turd after he started shagging the rest of the family 50 years ago. Why sit at his bedside watching the piss trickle into the bag and smelling his farts when you can have a few hours out in the fresh air at Frogmore by Plunket's grave remembering those trips to the cinema and dinners?

No Phil's a write-off now, had a good innings, grand old character etc all the BBC slags slavering at the fees for the biographical documentaries and the 20 hours of non stop coverage of the state funeral. At my school there was special service on the day of Churchill's funeral , greatest living English cunt, pissed as a fart through 6 years of war and still in the early sixties advocating the invasion of northern Sumatra. And him only a commoner! What the fuck will they do to mourn Phillip - it'll go on forever.

As to checking if he's got water don't worry this guy has people to help him pass wind. Good fucking riddance - to all of them.

call me ishmael said...

That's my boy, mr ra. imagine though if both phil and partyboy Mandela went together, the entire pbc'd be running around like a whore at a hockey match.

Ragarse said...

It'd be like a rollover on the lottery! Martha called it 50 years ago "There'll be dancin' in the street"!

prinz freelipz said...

bugger me, i can't imagine why i married into these snooty saxe-coburg krauts? well they paid me to breed the old bitch-bag up as it goes...

yes, ok i'm part-krautish-danish too, but from the north, you see - we don't speak that hoity-toity high-german piffle...god only knows this lot have made themselves mighty unpopular here in britain...

...take last year's jubilee celebrations, for instance...paul wotsisface...oh you know him...mocca...he threatened to twang-off a discordant diminished-seventh during his shitty-ditty as some kind of right-on political protest against the monarchy, but no-one damn-well noticed it in amongst the fistfuls of other duff bloody notes...glad i threw a slick sicky and missed the god-awful din-of-a-thing...mostly poofs and past-its anyway...obviously it was far better in 1977 when we had some real music by the sex-piston-chaps and they all got nicked after getting stoned and rioting on that river-barge, you should have seen her huffiness's face... bloody priceless...laugh, i nearly shat myself...one of the top highlights of my whole piss-parade of a life that day was, i tell you...

...naturally, last june she had to hire that exceedingly gross gold-painted rowing-boat-of-an effort just to make sure no other joker tried to pull the same anti-asshole anarchist stunt again like 25 years before...shit i felt so sodding-well daft standing there up-front like one super-sized spare ceremonial prickhead...but by all accounts, the general consensus of opinion amongst her highnose's 60 million loyal british subjects was that she and the rest of her rotten-heired kraut-crew should have carried straight-on through tower-bridge and bally-well buggered-orff back over where they came from...

...can't honestly say i blame the poor battered british bastards either, i wouldn't wish my dick-brained issue of bum-breeds on anyone.

liz-biz gets in a right-royal tiz said...

@call me ishmael

That's my boy, mr ra. imagine though if both phil and partyboy Mandela went together, the entire pbc'd be running around like a whore at a hockey match.

well, goodness...one simply wouldn't know which ceremony to grace...

...obviously south africa sounds favourite weather-wise tho'...

Old timer. said...

Just to note it is mid-winter in Jo'burg at present and at 5000 feet up it does get to be a touch brass monkeys for those not suitably prepared.

That said, the sun is usually out too under clear blue skies, so I think I'll join you on the flight and revisit one or two old haunts. Pity about all those wog gangsters in Commissioner street though

Old timer said...

PS: Mr I, prolonged absences from the UK during the period you mention prevents me knowing about that famous Snotaway cough mixture or whatever it was. Nobody had colds in the part of the world I was inhabiting at the time as we were all too busy fighting Montezuma! Still, nothing a crate or two of Dr Collis-Browne's mixture couldn't handle.

Woman on a Raft said...

You haven't been moonlighting, have you Mr Ish?

http://www.sxolsout.org.uk/10.html

This site has plenty of bite but it goes beyond gossip to show how impropriety in one area of life opens the question: what else have they been up to?

I wouldn't normally regard the Daily Mail as a journal to rely on but they are carrying articles which give more or less the same information in the code-worded form.

My own feeling is that we may be approaching the end of the show. Unfortunately, she probably thought that the ECA72 merely reverted to an economic situation which has some parallels with how Victoria ran her show. She was mistaken. As the Freemen of the Land crossly argue, she did the one thing which a British monarch is not supposed to do - sign away sovereignty.

She wears a hollow crown now.

pass-the-cathartic-electoral-parcel said...

nelson mandela's failing health is indisputable and the majority of his people are suffering serious poverty-by-repression, yet prince philbleep is apparently quite comfy and (considering our only mildly maladjusted social situation compared with that of black south africans) we, his battier-half's subjects, can't really complain either.

pranz philblip's hospitalization certainly seems to be a put-up-job designed to get her manoeuvring majesty off the official ceremonial hook should mandela pass on to a far fairer place than he is in right now...

...although there could of course be some other aristocratic mischief afoot - perhaps the queen is on the brink of heading-up a marxist revolution with the mediocre backing of the bbc, or the duke of dogginburger is plotting a far-right coup to oust prime-meddler cameron by switching him with a proper old-fashioned fascist like bombardier johnnyscum, or there again, maybe prince wallyspout is going to lead an anarcho-ecological revolt against his mummy by stabbing her in the tit with a bare organic gherkin...

...one honestly doesn't actually know.

what one does know however is that nickerless gripebrain deems a terrorist old man mandela (who in 1961-1962, whilst organizing armed resistance against the ultimate expression of ideological oppression, strictly avoided targeting civilians), but that in the same intellectually bereft breath he flatly fails to pass any wind of judgment on the british military (who are, even in recent times, responsible for thousands upon thousands of innocent civilian deaths)...

...and i wonder if old nick realizes that the majority of early members of the umkhonto we sizwe resistance movement (which laid the initial stepping stones to the transformed tint of today's south-african government) were in fact white men...?

what's also evident is that the current figureheads of western democracy (such as obama, hollande, and cameron), who have of late been carelessly and cynically casting their depleted-uranium stones and other deeply-penetrating insults against the peoples of africa, are now unified in frantic prayer for the redeeming miracle of an all-enveloping international scandal that will conspire to sweep them conveniently from power, thus granting instant salvation from the potential lion's den of mortally miffed mourners at the politically corrective idol nelson's purgatorial funeral - well, i bet their doubles are shitting baobab-sized breeze-blocks, anyway...

is this a russian-loaded-game of presidential chicken which mr obama is about to lose, or can he still jump clear to the other side of the tracks?

freedom to peep said...

i don't think the president need resign over the eavesdropping scandal - formerly, such intelligence communications were only available to the privileged few, now even my neighbour's kids, their dog and pet fucking gerbils have access to echelon and prism data on me.

this truly is democracy in action - well done mr obama.

how windsor castle houses half of hackney said...

the royals are damaged beyond repair - the only way out for them now is to gracefully retire to a council flat in peckham and allow iain duncan smith to sleep in a basket under the stairs as proof of their social conscience.

hard party games said...

@pass-the-cathartic-electoral-parcel

...although there could of course be some other aristocratic mischief afoot - perhaps the queen is on the brink of heading-up a marxist revolution with the mediocre backing of the bbc, or the duke of dogginburger is plotting a far-right coup to oust prime-meddler cameron by switching him with a proper old-fashioned fascist like bombardier johnnyscum, or there again, maybe prince wallyspout is going to lead an anarcho-ecological revolt against his mummy by stabbing her in the tit with a bare organic gherkin...

i'd say electoral victory is more like a hot potato - you don't want to hold office for too long in case mandela's moderating music stops and you're left stranded in the unclamberable cleft between the rock on the right and the hard place on the left. time for obama, hollande, and cameron to reverse their neo-colonialist kill-for-profit policies or prepare to receive a very rough ride on the roulette tables in sun city, south africa.

as for the dirty old duke, i reckon he's sussed that the game's up and that the woolwich incident, the mosque attacks, and the scuffles between the extreme left and the extreme right, are all staged - indicating an alliance between common people nationwide in the army, the police, the hard political left, the hard political right, and al qaeda. the establishment are all but sunk, morally and psychologically, and it's crypto-commie charlie-boy who's gonna lead the charge to the revolutionary barricades.