THE HEFFERSPHERE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAXI DRIVERS?

The Heffersphere is alive with class warfare; how dare a taxi-driver own a firearm, why,  the bounder doesn't even have an estate;  greyhounds and whippets, they're good enough for the likes of him, aping his betters. They don't need them and shouldn't have them, blusters the truculent piggy, Simon,

Sneering Simon

not unless they own or have shooting rights over a jolly old estate - the "have shooting rights over an estate" is there to include the purple-faced arsehole, Simes, himself,  who won't have an estate but will toady to the owner of one .  He was only a taxi driver, Bird, lament nearly all and sundry in the Heffersphere,  and shootin' and huntin' and bondage and buggery are for the better orders, Tally Ho.

Why, pray, does Jeremy Klaxon have a stable of supercars which will travel at three times the national limit,  who needs a Vee- or a DoubleYou- Twelve? Supercars and high-speed production cars  can  and do  kill people every year.  Ah, but cars don't kill people, people kill people, the rich shout aloud,  or do we mean guns, guns don't kill people, people kill people, is that what we mean? Isn't what we mean that the rich neeed to have societal differentials, beyond the one of not paying proper taxes, like everybody else, the rich need to be further above the law, even,  than Mr David Laws, the secretive, gay, tragic midget,  who, according to Mr Fraser Nelson, whoring journalist emeritis, didn't need the money he stole and  therefore wasn't guilty of anything and therefore should not have been punished, poor lamb, especially when he is the only person in our sixty million who can run the Treasury, right under Mr Osborne's nose, as it were.

Heffer and his mates bitterly resent the fact that the proles can carry guns, too.  The rights and wrongs of citizens bearing arms don't enter PiggyBoy's leaden cogitations, it is just his own distinct separateness which he would underscore by a move to restrict gun  ownership to his own, idle, non productive, perverse caste; as though anyone glimpsing his likeness or hearing his flatulent ruminations on the BBC would be in any doubt that Simon Heffer is in a class almost entirely of his own