Sunday, 11 July 2010

MORE OF THAT ALL IN THIS TOGETHER SHIT.

I was just discussing the crisis with the blogdog, Buster.  Seeing as how he's the oldest, sickest and most vulnerable person in Ishmaelia, it's only right and proper that he bear the brunt of our very necessary deficit reduction.

Heedless of the cost, Buster has grown accustomed to eating regularly and healthily, sometimes four sachets of Caesar Senior dogfood per day, sometimes six.

Lets be clear about this, he can no longer afford to eat like this
and so we decided to halve his food.

But on reflection we decided that we could cut further,
without it harming us.....

.....like this, it's not popular with Buster but we are all in this together.



Buster's drug bill has grown exponentially as he has aged 
and this simply cannot continue.

By all means let him have the occasional aspirin, washed down with free water
but all these heart medicines  and trips to the Vet are an extravagance we can no longer afford.



Flashy clothing, too, it simply has to go if we are to balance the books.



In the cold he'll just have to exercise, a swift run along the beach'll do it, 
followed by a healthy snack of grass.

His bedding allowance, too, funded, let us not forget, by other people,
is scandalously high and we simply cannot afford
for him to lie around in comfort all day.

There, cold, hungry, comfortless, neglected and frightened; 
the weak and vulnerable
appropriately punished for the crimes of the rich.



THE PRODUCERS WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT DURING THIS PHOTO SHOOT THEY HAVE NOT ACTUALLY HARMED ANY VULNERABLE OLD PEOPLE. WHICH IS MORE THAN CAN BE SAID FOR THAT CUNT NICKY GIMP AND HIS LOATHSOME, HYPOCRITICAL  SHIT-EATING PARTNERS IN CRIME, MAY GOD SEND A FIERY PLAGUE UP THEIR POXY ARSES.





ps, he's ok, really

4 comments:

Agatha said...

M. Buster- Supermodel!
Pausing in my struggles with Alberic Barbier - rampant and vigorous, despite his great age - launched in 1910, capable of climbing 20 foot up a tree (that's around 6 metres for you youngsters, raised on Napoleonic rather than Imperial measurements), I ran into the house just ahead of a torrential downpour, to see the grim future ahead for Buster - naked, cold floor to sleep on and no food. Reminds one of the donkey, whose master progressively reduced his food daily in order to save money. He did surprisingly well under the regime but the experiment ended when one carrot a day was reached, as the donkey died.That used to be a joke, until Nick the Gimp got in amongst us.
Anyway, Mr. Ishmael, I cannot stand by and see M.Buster abused like this. I'll take him off your hands (I have offered before)and he can have as many warm beds, nice clothes and dishes of minced chicken and prawns as he likes. I'll even change my will in his favour,
Regards,
Agatha

Squitch said...

To mangle a well-known phrase: "We're all in this together, but some of us are more in this together than others."

PT Barnum said...

If anyone would like a free cat (Mrs Agatha?), I have one going spare: eats anything, hates everyone, quite willing to bite the hand that feeds, will liberally scent-mark anything in range including your legs. How did I end up with this charming creature? Compassion for a filthy, starving stray. Terrible thing, compassion, doesn't even get you gratitude.

P.S. No, you can't have him, I'd miss him terribly now. And maybe one day I'll be allowed to stroke him.

Elby the Beserk said...

Can we send you some of Pig & Poppy's working dogs fish kibble? It keeps them super healthy, and is cheap as there is no VAT on food for working dogs. And the bastards work me all day long.

Give Buster my regards - I do so hope we get to see you whilst he is still with us, but am also terrified that Pig & Poppy will finish him off; they can behave like a canine hurricane at times.