ARCHBISHOP BEARD SACKS FAG HERETIC.
THIS IS THE FUCKING CHURCH OF ENGLAND,
NOT THE CHURCH OF QUEER.
We have no plans to burn Canon Jeffrey John at the stake, in the finest traditions of the Faith, stretch him on the rack until he recants nor to seize his privates with redhot pincers, whilst reading to him from the Gospel. As, in the name of God, we should. And used to. But he is a faggot and an abomination in the sight of the Lord. And me.
What is it with these poofs, eh? I mean, they already make up most of the clergy, fags and dykes, fuck me, can't go to Synod without falling over them, why is it that they want to be on the board, as well; are they trying to make a cunt of me? Gay bishops, dyke bishops, what is it these fuckers want? In my Father's house there's many mansions, I know, but these bastards're taking the piss a bit, who's gonna wanna eat the communion wafer out of hands that've been who knows where but aren't gonna be smellimg of the Lilies of the Field? Fuck me, Jesus, it's enough to make me go and work for my Brother-in-Christ, Pope Nazi; excommunicate the fuckers, that's what he'd do.
This bloke, Jeffrey John, he even sounds like a fag, he says he's living with another gaybastard but that they're chaste. Chaste? Don't make me fucking laugh, poofters, in the same bed and not knobbing or fisting each other up the Khyber, slurping on each others Staff of Life or scratching each others eyes out in fits of hysterical jealousy, never heard such shit, chaste poofters, indeed.
Anyway, the Anglican Church of Christ the Cannibal, out in Africa and the Anglican Church of Christ the RedneckSonofafuckinbitch, in the US, not to mention the homegrown evan-fucking-gelical funda-fucking-mentalists, and I do mean mentalists, they don't wanna be in communion, not in any sense, with the MotherChurch of Queer.
Fuelling the argument, Labour MP and former minister, Mr Chris Underpants Bryant, a former Anglican cleric, who is also gay, said: "I have long supported the erection of bishops. If the clergy and people of a diocese want a gay bishop they should be able to vote for one, in which case Jeffrey John would have been archbishop of Canterbury by now, instead of this current useless twat, Beardie. There are not many men who combine Jeffrey John's spiritual depth and insight and the size of his cock. The way things are conducted now does not do the church any favours."