LAWANORDER, TIME LORD WANTED.
A RETURN TO FETISH FOOTWEAR,
JUST LIKE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS,
SAYS THERESA SHOES, MP,
BACK IN TIME WITH ME,
IT'S THE ONLY WAY FORWARD.
THE BOOTS, MR TINY SPEAKER,
ARE ON THE OTHER FEET NOW, AREN'T THEY?
AFTER THIRTEEN YEARS OF FLAT, GRUMPY
NEWLABOUR FOOTWEAR,
THE NATION CAN HAVE THE SUEDE BOOTS POLICIES IT DESERVES
(NOT TO BE WORN OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM OR THE TV STUDIO)
I'M GOING TO STAMP-OUT CRIME,
PROMISES MAD OLD LADY
MRS SHOES AND BOOTS SPEAKING ON THE TODAY PROGRAMME'S
SHOE FOR THE DAY SLOT, AND WASNT IT JESUS, JOHN,
WHO SAID, TAKE WHAT THEY HAVE FROM THE POOR
AND BUY YOURSELF NEW SHOES AND BOOTS?
I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT WAS.
SHOE FOR THE DAY SLOT, AND WASNT IT JESUS, JOHN,
WHO SAID, TAKE WHAT THEY HAVE FROM THE POOR
AND BUY YOURSELF NEW SHOES AND BOOTS?
I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT WAS.
HOME SECKATRY DANCES THE HOKEY-COKEY:
YOU PUT A BURGLAR IN, YOU LET A RAPIST OUT
IN-OUT, IN-OUT, SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT.
RESTORATIVE JUSTICE
AND I'M GOING, MR TINY SPEAKER,
TO MAKE YOUNG OFFENDERS LICK MY SHOES.
AND YOU, TOO,
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL.
AND I COMMEND MY SHOES ANDS BOOTS
TO THE HOUSE.
COMPLETE WITH ODOUR-EATERS.
In other news, Coalition to augment bent police chiefs with elected bent police chiefs, police constables to be made to read job description, voluntary police work to be made compulsory.
Justice Seckatry,
Mr Kenny Clarke of Kenny Clarke and his Tory Jazzmen said, Well, that's all very well but if you ask me, Mr Tiny Speaker - and I have been home seckatry, and helf seckatry and chancellor and schools seckatry - if you ask me, Mr Tiny Speaker, the right honourable lady hasn't a fucking clue what she's talking about, all very well, slutting about in latex combat boots, but what the fuck does she know about home sackatrying ; Humphrey Lyttleton, though, he was a coppers' copper. Ah one-two-three Come on along, come on along, lemme take you by the hand, up to the man, up to the man, who is the leader of the band, and I don't mean CallHimDave and his gimp, neither.
TO MAKE YOUNG OFFENDERS LICK MY SHOES.
AND YOU, TOO,
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL.
AND I COMMEND MY SHOES ANDS BOOTS
TO THE HOUSE.
COMPLETE WITH ODOUR-EATERS.
In other news, Coalition to augment bent police chiefs with elected bent police chiefs, police constables to be made to read job description, voluntary police work to be made compulsory.
Justice Seckatry,
6 comments:
Is Kenny related to Presser? There is a very strong family resemblance.
In an earlier thread Mrs Woman on a Raft drew our attention to a chilling comparison; between the swift prosecution of a fantasist who pretended he was a war veteran and the slope shoulders attitude towards a ' public servant ' responsible for the death of an innocent man.
To my mind the job of Home Secretary is the most important in government, dealing with matters of justice, punishment, civil liberties; the foundations and boundaries of state and individual behaviour.
So let`s reflect on the personalities that have recently held the post.........oh shit.
I think you have to go back to Woy Jenkins to find a civilising force at the Home Office, mr yardarm. There have been some right monsters, Leon Brittan, David Blunkett but none have distinguished themselves. I cannot imagine why any sensible person would appoint Mrs May, like Kennny says, she's a fucking idiot.
Call me old-fashioned, but given a choice I'd prefer the 1950's type buggering priests (I went to one of those kind of schools) to the bunker busting shoe type's we now have. Not much of a choice, I agree, but when were we ever free to live our own lives?
Quite right, Mr Ishmael she was not appointed by a sensible person but by David Cameron and the fact she`s a fucking idiot would seem to qualify her as the ideal cypher for the imps and demons that dwell in the bowels of our burgeoning national security state.
Me tuggy-tug two time one hour big splash-splash picture Jackboot leopard wellies leather pant.
I so ashame.
Post a Comment