Wednesday, 14 July 2010


Remember chaps,dulce et decorum est pro obama mori
as we say in the better schools.

 Speaking as a military man, I can only echo what Mr Ishmael said rccently that the right way to conduct a war is to pay our enemies  vast sums of money to fight alongside us against themselves and shoot us when we're not looking, this is a brilliant, groundbreaking strategy. And this coalition will continue to press for it, it may be stupid, it may be unpopular. But it's what I came into politics for. 

It is only by building-up the Afghani forces with our taxpayers' money that we will be able to achieve this remarkable feat; the alternative is to spend the money on poor and sick people at home and that is simply not what I came into politics for. And if it doesn't work we can always blame the other side. Even though we supported them in getting into this shitstorm in the first place. It's what I and Mr Gimp came into politics to do.

And now a word from my batman, Lance corporal Clegg.

Rt Hon Mr Nicky Gimp, MP.

Thank you, Master. Well,  people may say that my party was opposed to the two old parties, both of which are younger than my party, and their wars against working class people all over the world but that was  before my master  offered me a job as HM Principal Gimp and so it doesn't matter. If Coalition policy results in our troops, to whom we all....blah blah blah....being shot in their beds by the people thay are supposed to be helping well that's a price well worth them paying so's I can continue playing the Gimp. It may be stupid, it may be unpopular and nobody voted for it but it's what I came into politics for. The Liberal Democrats are entirely opposed to the occupation of Afghanistan, apart from when it's necessary to usher in  the New Politics, in which you won't be able  get rid of me.  Vote Yes in the S & M referendum.


Dick the Prick said...

It's getting slightly ridiculous really. I can't really fathom what the hell the Libs are doing as there may be some strategic long term gain but they'd have to distance themselves from the Tories which, at the moment, they're not doing at all. It could be that Lance Corporal Clegg is thick as fuck, that they believe they can influence government policy better inside but...they're fucking useless. Most odd.

yardarm said...

Each is conning the other (along with the rest of us). Cameron wants the Liberals hands dipped in blood with the cuts to destroy them and Clegg thinks he`s getting PR and perpetual coalitions. Each thinks he is clever enough to pull out at the right moment and shaft the other.

Each is also a power crazed tosspot, desperate for the prestige of office and the trappings of power and licking their lizard lips at the thought of the Blair like spoils to be had afterwards.

mongoose said...

Now, I am a Liberal but to a degree, Mr Yardarm, and I doubt very much, that Clegg is conning anyone. He is, true, getting PR and exposure of his troops to the spotlight. Cameron is getting a five year to do the slaughter and he will, indeed, lay off much of the blame. Because after all we are all in this together.

Clegg may as well drop his trousers and bend over right now for all the electoral good not doing it will do him. The Dogshooters are now Cameron's to do with as he pleases. A sad day for the most venerable political party in the world.

PT Barnum said...

I grow old, since I fancy I can recall a time when people believed things deeply and acted accordingly. A conscience now seems to be sheddable in a manner comparable to the foreskin in circumcision: if someone bigger and more important than you says it has to go, for whatever fanciful justification, then go it does.

mongoose said...

That is it, Mr PTB. We are become whores.

call me ishmael said...

I wouldn't let him do it, mr mongoose, for all the farms in Cuba, make me whore, that is. I know nothing, being young in politics, of any Liberal heyday, or is it hayday, or any form of venerability; confined to my life's experience, all I know about this gang of shiteaters is that they are the people who split the left and gave us Blatcherism and thus, implicitly, Brownism; that they appoint ever more self-aggrandising pricks as leaders - I didn't think there could be one more laughably comic-opera than Paddy Pantsdown but fuck me, Nick the Gimp is as worthless and shabby a poltroon as ever waved his dick at others in the cottage of political life and that on that subject the LibDems are degenerate, untrustworthy and deviant almost beyond belief, their current shameless wriggling evidence of a collective conscience marinaded in fecal matter way beyond the putrescence of normal political chicanery, and that, Mr Tiny Speaker, is saying something.

But it is the barefaced effrontery of Flashman which irks today, we did say, last week, we really did, that we are paying our notional enemies to join our ranks and sabotage them by murder. And there he is, today, conceited beyond belief, parroting his unswerving commitment to this bloody insanity, a wicked messenger, flushed with self-admiration persuading us that loss is victory, if only we weren't too stupid to see it, dazzled as we are by the massively generous over-provision of public services, welfare benefits and pensions.

PT Barnum said...

'Wicked' is an old-fashioned word, an out-of-date word, but it is the right word to describe this monstrous farce. All in 'our name' (which is perhaps what Mr mongoose meant by 'we're all whores now'). All for our safety. There are insufficient words for such foetid, self-serving collusion in mass murder, but 'wicked' is good enough.

call me ishmael said...

Never an anachronism with me, mr ptb, wicked; a step short of Evil and its demonic connotations but fairly absolute and unequivocal, it is good enough.

mongoose said...

Well, the Liberals grew from the Whigs who, if they look back far enough, were fed by the same spring as the Civil War. That is, Cromwell's lads wanted the voice of the people in Parliament, distant though Parliament was, to trump the power of the aristocracy and the Crown. The LibDumbs are a shower of shit - literally, I understand - for whom I would never vote. They sully the very word Liberal with their cowardly manoeuvring - not to mention the stupidity.

The liberal Whigs destroyed themselves however by "doing the right thing", which was the Great Reform Act. One could argue that their motives were not pure but then the motives of a collective are never pure. This was possibly the first, but certainly the last, time any collective group of politicians disadvantaged themselves in the cause of justice. By a great yackety-yack and a couple of hundred years, we get ourselves to today with a split Left but the Whigs, the fathers of the Labour Party as much as the Liberal Party, created a Left to split. And by lesser, later steps (which I shall not bore you with), the Liberals, by giving voice and power, and greater justice to the people, made way for the Labour movement.

Labour, a pretty young thing, unworldly and unsteady on its dainty feet due to the heady whiff of dogma, allowed itself to think its rules and theoretical values were more important than the people - Clause This, Unilateral That, Red Robbo in a pointy hat. The point of power being the pursuit of natural justice not the pursuit of unnatural ideology. If we could but just find ourselves a coherent centre left party we would have, what is the phrase? A natural party of government. These, I fear, are the sheep's clothes in which Cameron, the Bullingdon bully bastard, is trying to clad his Tory wolf.

call me ishmael said...

Thanks, mr mongoose, for that. Thick as shit, me, sometimes.

Parties, though, aren't they the contrademocratic nigger, so to speak, in the woodpile, doomed, by their internal needs, to become instruments of shit-in-the-public-face?