Wednesday, 27 January 2010



From the Evening Standard 23.-06-07

I QUIT, says Attorney General Lord Goldsmith


One of the most controversial figures in Tony Blair's government, the prat, Goldsmith, announced he will step down with the Prime Minister next week.

Attorney General Lord Goldsmith - at the centre of a furore over the legality of the Iraq War - will bow out after six years in his post.

He is the latest of a string of ministers closely associated with Mr Blair to signal their departure ahead of Gordon Brown's move into No 10.

Home Secretary John Reid, a Glasgow fascist bootboy and Social Exclusion Minister Hilary Armstrong - both fierce Blairites - have already said they intend to resign as Mr Blair departs the stage.

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It's also been reported ex-Metropolitan Police Commissioner Lord Stevens has rejected a post as a junior minister in Gordon Brown's new government. Gay admirals and that greasy cocksucker, Digby Jones, fuck me, no, never.

Channel 4 News said there had been talks in the last few weeks over a job in law and order, never too late, even for senior policemen, and, despite Lord Stevens declining the ministerial job, Mr Brown might still want the peer to serve as some kind of tsar or adviser. A government of all the tsars, is what I want, no more spin and lies, frothed the Man With No Nails.

It follows the disclosure that Mr Brown, who takes over as Prime Minister next week, just like he always wanted, without an election, had been rebuffed by Lord Paddy Pantsdown after he asked him to serve in his first Cabinet. Gay admirals and that greasy cocksucker, Digby Jones, fuck me, no, never, said Captain Pantsdown, peering, steely-eyed into the distance; a man's man, me, always was, but not in that sense.

But Lord Goldsmith's departure will be greeted with relief by many Labour MPs.

The Attorney General has been involved in a series of controversies, most notably over how and why his legal advice to the Government on the Iraq invasion was changed.

It emerged in 2005 that he had expressed private concerns to Mr Blair about the legality of war. Documents that emerged following requests under freedom of information laws show that he told officials he had changed his mind 'after further reflection' - ie bungs from Uncle Sam.

Lord Goldsmith, the Government's chief legal adviser, has insisted he came under no political pressure to change his view. But the discrepancy between his initial advice and later, public view would be a main focus of any future inquiry into the case for war.

There was further controversy over Lord Goldsmith's refusal to step aside from any decisions over possible prosecutions in the cash-for-honours affair, despite his close relationship with some of the key players.

But his decision to stand down means he will play no role in deciding whether to prosecute members of Tony Blair's inner circle over the affair. As if.

In contrast, the Director of Public Prosecutions, Sir Ken Macdonald QC - who for three years was a member of The Chambers, where Cherie Blair practises

Two lawyers take a stroll in daylight.

- announced some time ago that he will stand back from any decision to avoid any 'perceived conflict of interest'.

Lord Goldsmith was also forced to deny claims that he changed his mind about whether there was enough evidence to bring corruption charges against the arms company BAE after pressure from Downing Street.

Just this month,the Serious Fraud Office stepped in to insist Lord Goldsmith had not ordered claims about alleged payments from BAE to a Saudi prince to be covered up.

Senior Labour figures - including Justice Minister and deputy leadership contender Harriet Harman - believe future Attorneys General must not sit in the Cabinet to avoid similar controversies.

Meanwhile, MPs on the Commons constitutional affairs committee have started an inquiry into the role.

There was also embarrassment for Lord Goldsmith in February after he was forced to confess to an affair with Kim Hollis, the first Asian woman QC.

He faced questions from political opponents about whether the affair took place at the same time as the row over legal advice on the Iraq war but responded that, as his matrimonial betrayal revealed, he was a man of great integrity. I am a man of great integrity, he said, and wouldn;t dream of fucking another man's wife and mother of his children and a very much junior person to me.

Not unless she was a piece of hot chocolate.

Lord Goldsmith said his wife Joy had known about the affair 'for a long time', that it was in the past and that they were both 'very happy', joined together, as they were, in holy deadlock. We have moved on from the millions of casualties in the Middle East and my wife, Wotsername, has great faith in my personal integrity. As do I.

Last night the Attorney General said he was 'proud to have been a part of making major achievements in criminal injustice'. In a statement he said: 'I have been immensely privileged to serve in this office for just over six years. This is a record time for a Labour Attorney General but they couldn't get rid of me on account of me being Blair's bumboy. It has been an extremely interesting and challenging time.Only not for me, I just had to tell lies. And that's easy for a lawyer.

'However I have wanted for some time to move on and capitalise on my time in goivernment, flogging the contacts and info which I have very properly and with great integrity, stashed away, I have told the Prime Minister and the Chancellor that I believe now is the right time to make that move.'

Mr Brown paid tribute to the Attorney General and said he had agreed to work as an adviser for his administration.

'Peter Goldsmith has given outstanding service to Britain,' he said."Just like myself."

'His contribution to the Ruination of the country and to this Government of lying, thieving, war criminals, fascists, racists, and NWO Nazis has been immense, we all kknew that lawyers were worthless, greedy, bullying, lying bastards but Peter is a prince among them.

'It is with my regret that he has made his personal decision to step down.

'I am however very pleased that he has agreed to undertake a review of the legal and other aspects of citizenship in our country and to continue talking bollocks about Iraq. It is the right thing for the country.'

Goldsmith attended the same Liverpool school as the famous wife-beater and drug addict, John Lennon, and has said that if he hadn't been a bent lawyer he would have been the fifth Beatle. Honest.

Next Week in the Filth-O-Graph. Joshua Rosenberg (Mr Mad Melanie - anyone who disagrees with me is a Nazi- Phillips) MAD MEL, VENGEFUL LUNATIC,

on why my friend, Peter Goldsmith, a man of great integrity, could never do anything wrong, lets face it, anyone who starts a war which kills hundreds of thousands of Muslims has to be a good guy. Thank you and have a nagilah day.


Mothers Ruin said...

Half the HoC seems to be ex lawyers and the other half perpetual students. Only those who spend their days pontificating on the wrongs of society seem to have the power to decide on our penitence.
In Douglas Adams' Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy,the heroes find themselves on a spaceship populated by all those professionals despised by the masses,who are duped by a tale of impending earthly disaster to flee to a far flung galaxy on the only vessel available in order to preserve the finest specimens of humanity. In the period that the story was written,estate agents and hairdressers were the passengers but how many seats would now be needed to fit the planet's ambulance chasers that deserve to be upgraded and secured in first class passage to infinity and beyond.
Lord Goldsmith,Baroness Scotland and Jack Straw seem to prove the old adage that the law is an arse.Elf and safety,positive vetting,CRB checks,human rights,compensation,compensation,compensation is the mantra of the new bar. A legal mind has been trained to argue the brief,not their personal opinion. In Goldsmiths case the only surprise should be the surprise that some jurors deluded themselves that he may have had a problem with "ethics".
Lawyers and prostitutes both sell themselves for a fee but whores can shower and feel clean afterwards.

Anonymous said...

If you find yourself a man short on the firing squad give me a ring.
I have been on the recieving end of legal ais 4 times, 2 ex wives first time I had custody of the kids and she was in Canada with her new husband still not far enough away, second one, why not what have you got to lose free lawyer? A woman who ripped me off for thousands when we rebuilt her house, changed lawyers 4 times even when I won the case and a squatter 2 kids and her last fucking job was milk monitor at school. Muggings here as I work can't afford the luxury of these parasites £150 per hour plus vat. It is in their interest to drag the proceeedings out as long as possible when they are on daywork.
All the subbies working for me are on a price otherwise they become part of the family. I hate these fuckers with a vengence but I had better get used to them being around as who will stop them Bliar and slotgob?

call me ishmael said...

From The Gospel of Luke, Chapter 11.

45 Then answered one of the lawyers, and said unto him, Master, thus saying thou reproachest us also. 46 And Jesus said, too fucking right, mate, Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers.

From stanislav's Great Book of shite:

Only good lawyer is fucking dead bastard, innit, hang-up from lamp post with piano wire cravat and decent bloke pass by and spit at pinstripe corpse; rotten, thieving, miserable son of fucking bitch and good for fuck all is.

call me ishmael said...

The Guide was one of the great comic/satirical creations of our time, M R, Adams steeped in the wonderful, 1950s science fiction writings which he spoofed so aptly. On a mordant note, I thought his passing was as though he had written it himself - he'd ditched his first wife, he was rich, admired, moved to LA, married a glam, was negotiating all sorts of media developments of the Guide and, fuck me, he dropped dead on an exercise machine, working-out, as they say, in the gym, dead in his forties. Beautifuk, really; imagine him appearing, as, had he lived, he would have, on Grumpy Old Men with those vain and obnoxious self-fellating creeps. A true artist, Adams, even if he was part of the Oxbridge/BBC freemasonry which so plagues us.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, however, was the sort of book which Steven Fry would write.

Anonymous said...

fuck me, he dropped dead on an exercise machine, working-out" They say no pain no gain, I on the other hand say no pain no pain. On a lighter note re parasites or as some people call them lawyers imagine day one year zero Phom Phen Cambodia. They are sorting out occupations, now what do you do? Corporate logo designer, really, second line on the left over there,next management consultant, right OK over there second line on the left and you Sir? Lawyer, specialising in hedge funds, fuck me you have made my day, out of the way while I escort this bastard to the front of the queue

Anonymous said...

"Last chance to see" wasn't too bad but he was only responsible for 50% of that