I'm gonna ban your Daddy and your uncle.And you.
Yes, well, he's worse than that other bloke, innee, Nutt, the professor. Cor, blimey, I'm a reasonable sort of postman but fuck me, can't have me own experts disagreeing with me about stuff I know fuck all about now, can you? But this bloke Stevens, or Ali Baba, as he calls himself now; he's always been a wrong 'un. That song of his, Matthew and Son, nothing short of a direct attack on the unregulated capitalism which is such an important part of our great Labour tradition which I'm proud to say I 'elped forge as aturncoat union baron, I mean leader and now he, the beardy git, or some other fucking muslim, wants to go and disrupt the solemn proceedings at Wootton Bassett, where some ordinary people do what the government should be doing. I'd go meself, straight up, I would but as 'ome seckatry - yeah, I know, me, great, innit - my presence'd probly distract from the main event, people arskin for me autograph and so on.
No, Mr Ali Baba wants to carry some empty coffins through the streets like we was actually killing thousands of wogs in Afgannywotsit, which of course, we ain't, well, not exactly; so, given 'is 'istory of going down the mosque and prayin' and everyfink and 'im 'avin recorded shitloads of what they call spiritual music, terror rappin' to you and me, I, as 'ome seckatry, have no option but to ban 'im. Freedom of speech is all very well but only if you're saying the right thing, obviously, like Vote Labour for a Secure Society, wiff me as prime minister in due course. So, instead a 'im bein' followed by a Moonshadow, he'll be finding himself tailed by a couple of well-fit, moussed-up young men from the Internal Obedience Force, be failing in me duty, else.