Saturday, 23 January 2010


Well, like it's just a shame, man, that these little dudes don't have a proper role model. You know, man, when me and Ronnie're playing, man, it's like more than the Blues, it's like some ancient art, man. Like, we been playing this shit for like forty years, or is it fifty, fucked if I know, eh, who's counting. If only those little bastards could dig it, man, know what I'm saying, like Ronnie an me, we're tight, man.

I mean, man, all these little dudes need to do is like score some good smack, carry a couple of guns and a knife maybe, cop an open tuning off Ry Cooder and like just stagger about on stage, smacked out of your head for fifty years . If you can find some foxy little chick, mebbe young enough to be, like, a schoolchick, man, and you looking like a ten thousand year old Egytian mummy, man, then that's really cool shit, slap her around a bit, y'know, it's what chicks expect. They respect ya for it. Y'know, man, it's like Under my Thumb, right, man?

So what I'm sayin' here is like, Rock'n'Roll, Y'know, man.
It's those Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o--o-onky-tonk wimmin, gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues. Ayn-gee, Ay-an-gee, when will those dark clouds dis-a-pe-e-e-ar. Can you dig my shit, man, it's like, Holy, man, no other word for it. Holy shit.

Child abuse? Wow, far out.
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woman on a raft said...

Looks like my dad was right about them all along.

Anonymous said...

Tickets anyone?

call me ishmael said...

Story Image

FROM THE DAILY FILTH, prop Richard Smut.

HUNT: Cilla and Gerry McCann are determined to find Madeleine

Sunday January 17,2010
By James Murray and Tracey Kandohla

DEFIANT Kate and Gerry McCann will mark the 1,000th day since their daughter disappeared with a celebrity packed £150-a-head fundraising dinner and auction at a top London venue.

Tycoon Sir Richard Branson and their businessman backer Brian Kennedy will join stars at Kensington Roof Gardens in west London on January 27.

Radio Five’s Nicky Campbell and children’s author JK Rowling have also been invited.

The event for 180 supporters comes in the middle of the couple’s tense court battle against their tormentor, former police chief Goncalo Amaral, in Lisbon and gives them a night of light relief after weeks of stress.

Kate, 41, said yesterday: “We will raise money for Madeleine’s Fund and the ongoing search for her.

“If our circumstances remain unchanged, this day will sadly mark 1,000 days since Madeleine was taken from us.”

Money will be raised through ticket sales and a charity auction. Half the profits, expected to exceed £100,000, will go to Madeleine’s Fund, which currently stands at about £400,000, with the other half split between two other charities.

Kate explained: “Madeleine’s Fund is not depleted but we are aware, given the uncertainty of our situation, that we need to plan ahead to continue the search to find her.”

Kate said: “Fifty per cent of the profits from the event will be split between two charities, Missing ­People and Missing Children Europe.

“These two charities are among many others who work incredibly hard despite limited funding to help missing and exploited children.”

A close friend of the McCanns, who live in Rothley, Leicestershire, said: “Kate and Gerry are hoping to raise as much money as possible to help them and two other charities.


“The guests are people who have pledged their support to help find Madeleine, including celebrities and wealthy business people.”

The friend added: “The event doesn’t indicate that the fund is in ­crisis but money does need to come in.” Madeleine vanished from her parents’ holiday flat in Praia da Luz, ­Portugal, in May 2007, just days before her fourth birthday.

The Portugese police have shelved the case, leaving the McCanns effectively on their own and needing a flow of cash to finance the hunt for leads into their daughter’s disappearance, though there is a certain amount of support from Leicestershire Police.

Ragarse said...

Such nonsense.

We all know Madeleine will appear on May 5 at the door of No 10 clutchng Prime Minister Snot's mucous encrusted fingers, the saviour of the world having miraculously tracked her down, from the abduction that wasn't Gerry and Cilla's fault but really began in America,thus ensuring a landslide and utter, utter ruin

call me ishmael said...

Watch, mr ragarse, that those fuckers don't sue you. Gerry's a doctor you know, and Cilla.

Anonymous said...

a celebrity packed £150-a-head fundraising dinner and auction at a top London" Better luck next time Karen Matthews of Dewsbury, you see this is how it should be done. Instead of those fat slags with the Netto carrier bags full of cheap lager posing with you have oh no nice middle class liars for friends same as these two fuckers. This way you will board the gravy train for life you will of course have to hire that ex BBC twat Clarence the cross eyed lickspittle to talk for you as these are only doctors so are a bit backward at coming forward. Except when it comes to putting on "serious face now please" at press conferences and why doesn't the old bill hide a microphone at the ladies lunch bunch you never know one of these fuckers might let something slip?

Ms M Ritchie said...

Why can't we have a telethon along the lines of comic relief? I understand Mr Wogan is free to conduct such national events and i'm sure his fee would be repaid with interest once the pledges roll in.
Indeed,if enough money can be raised,Mr and Mrs McCann could afford a Malawian replacement or two.

call me ishmael said...

One of THE most dismal aspects of Ruin, I feel, the Neglect of Madeleine McCann.

Anonymous said...

When i saw this link i couldn't believe that it had gone unremarked for a week.
God help us all that this is the norm,and i'm a fucking athiest.

woman on a raft said...

Under My Tomb

call me ishmael said...

Is that Keef, Mrs WOAR, or Maahd-lin?

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr anonymous, so many lessons for Karen Matthews on media management, that'll teach her not to ape her betters. When your kid goes allegedly missing, first thing, very first thing is a call to Kirsty Wark, then to the in-laws, then to the lawyers, then and this is modt important, to a PR team and then, some time later, when the alleged crime scene has been trashed by very close professional drunk friends, to the police, whose fault it all is and whose questions you must never answer. Job done. Life in pantomime thereafter. Oh, no she didn't, Oh, yes, she did.

woman on a raft said...

It's the new hit record from the Strolling Bones, Mr Ishmael.

I wish I could think of some other tracks suitable for 10,000 year old mummies, but I was never much good at that game.

Verge said...

Bandage On The Run

Drive My Ka

Minister of Fun said...

Why can't you show a little sympathy for the old devil?